Capetonian woman continually surprised by events

News just in:

Capetonian Margaret Wilson (61) of Diep River, has admitted to being “almost permanently bewildered” by what she describes as “a continuous stream of surprising events” which she claims are plaguing her life.

Yesterday, my son-in-law asked if I had registered the card in my cellphone. I asked him why I needed to do this and he told me that I would be cut off if I didn’t. Who makes these silly rules up at the drop of a hat?
If they are going to do these things then they should at least tell you by sending you text messages, taking out full page advertisements in the newspapers or mentioning it on Carte Blanche or Cape Talk. If it wasn’t for Graham, I would never have known.

Mrs Wilson, who lives alone, was further incensed by the news that electricity prices would rise in Cape Town on July 1st:

I thought Graham was making this up when he told me. They did this last July too, although I’ll be surprised if this trend continues and they do it again next year. It’s going to cost me much more: since that silly loadshedding ended, I’ve been using as much electricity as I can to make up for the bits I missed. It’s difficult sleeping at night with all the lights on, but at least it keeps the burglars away.
But I don’t know where I am going to find the money. If I had known about this, I would have saved up. It’s like the petrol – you never know where you stand with that. They seem to change the price every few weeks. They should publicise these things. It’s very confusing.

When asked if she ever watched the news, Mrs Wilson said yes, although she only watches the SABC news in Afrikaans – which she doesn’t speak – “just to check Riaan Cruywagen is still alive”. She also mentioned that she only bought newspapers in order to line the bottom of her cats’ litter tray:

Pickles and Fifi just don’t seem to want to go out at the moment and I can’t say that I blame them. It’s been so cold and wet for the last few weeks. I really don’t like these cold snaps – we had them last year as well as I remember – while that football tournament was on. It just seems to get cold for a few months before it gets warmer again. Those weather people on the telly are no good either – they just say it’s going to be cold – they never tell you why. Still, I prefer this weather to when it’s too hot. I can’t stand the heat, you know?

Mrs Wilson is looking forward to watching the Super 15 semi-final from Newlands on Saturday.

Graham is going along. We love the rugby. It will be great to hear the whole crowd getting behind the local team.
I’ll be very surprised if they don’t.

(I’m submitting this post to the Southern Suburbs Tatler.)