Gone yachting

I like writing about yachting. There are hundreds of opportunities to slip yachting puns into your post, but it’s ok: yaw knot going to ketch me reaching for any of them. (Although I might pop one in schooner or later, so don’t go aweigh.)

But I digress. Often.

The Boy Wonder had a great weekend, which included a sunset cruise for a birthday party. The boat he was on was fairly impressive (friends, all you can eat sushi, on-board DJ), but the boat he saw while he was out there was on a whole other (sea) level.

Meet CLOUDBREAK, freshly into Cape Town from Tristan de Cunha.

72 point 5 metres of luxury yacht, with 22 staff for the 12 guests, who are housed in 1 master suite, 3 double and 2 twin cabins. Swimming pool, helicopter landing pad (because… well, obviously you need to park it somewhere), jacuzzi, and a tender garage for all your James Bond moment requirements. Jet skis, kayaks, flyboard, windsurfers. In case you get bored of the on-board cinema. Wow.

What’s more, by utilising YachtEye technology, charterers are able to trace the course of their passage in real-time on a collection of iPads found throughout the yacht. As impressive in its subtleties as its more obvious design features, CLOUDBREAK is finished with heated flooring in the ensuite facilities and totally automated doors.

And it can all be yours from just €750,000 (R10.7m) a week.

“Plus expenses.”

I’ve checked my bank account, and it being in that deliciously misleading bit twixt pay day and debit orders, I reckon I can afford almost 3 minutes and I’m off down to the Waterfront to cash it in right now.

If you’re reading this in Cape Town today (as in the day that I wrote it: 26th Feb 2018), CLOUDBREAK is still moored outside Mugg and Bean at the Waterfront if you want to go and have a look.

No touchies though, ok? Much like the rest of us, you simply can’t afford the cleaning bills.