Lazy Day

I should have done a lot more than I did today. A late start, well-deserved as we are still trying to get back into the swing and the routine of normal life. And then… nothing really happened. I should have gone to gym. I didn’t. Instead, a bit of golf, a bit of cricket, some football.

Watching, obviously. Not playing. That would be far too much effort.

And that’s about it. Except to say that American golf fans are annoying. And Brian Harman’s addressing of the ball is annoying. Golf generally is a bit annoying though, so maybe they fit in quite nicely.
And I feel like a bit of a fraud even showing a modicum of interest.

Especially as my favourite golfist isn’t there.

Day 479 – Favourite Golfist

The Open golf has been on for much of the weekend. I’m not an avid watcher, but it’s been on in the background while I’ve been doing stuff around the house.

This guy is my new favourite golfist. Why? Because of this:

“No. No! Greedy Bastard! Sit… SIT!”

Sounds like me chastising the beagle while doing an impression of Arnold Schwartzenegger.

A fairly regular occurrence.

I’ve been doing golf wrong

Fortunately, this Google ad has put me right.

Sadly for them, the image on the advertisement does rather give away the secret for unlocking true power at any age. (But won’t I need shorter clubs?)

And if it works for golf (which it clearly does, looking at all the golfers at any age who are using it on the professional circuit), then I have every hope that it will finally unlock true power on the football field tomorrow evening.

At any age.

I do understand what this headline means, but…

Ooer. Drama at the golf.

And the headline to go with it:

Look, I get it. The player (Kyle Stanley) hit the ball into the crowd and didn’t warn them that it was coming. The lady who got hit with the ball happened to be the mother of the caddie of Stanley’s playing partner that day, Bob MacIntyre.

Golf etiquette dictates that golfers should always yell “fore” upon hitting a shot that carries the risk of hitting another golfer. As long as you yelled “fore,” you did all you could to warn the other golfers. Convey this message to them in as polite a manner as possible.

MacIntyre was irritated that Stanley never warned the spectators that the ball was going their way.

But that’s not quite what the headline says, is it? That word “after” really doesn’t fit very well, because now for me, the suggestion is that Stanley should have gone over to Mrs Caddie Mum, who was by now nursing a very, very sore hand, and shouted “fore” at her. And I mean, there’s no point in doing that once the ball has hit someone, is there? In fact, some might call it ‘adding insult to injury’.

Seriously, if a golfer whose ball had just fractured my metacarpals, then strode purposefully off the fairway, across the rough and over to the gallery (look at me with all my golfing terminology, innit?), I’d be expecting some sort of sympathy or apology, not for him to shout “fore” at me at very close range. I’d likely consider that rather sarcastic, and, given my recent and clearly still very painful injury and subsequent troubled state of mind, I might even swing for him with my remaining good hand.

The subheading doesn’t really clear it up either, does it? It almost makes it sound as though MacIntyre was encouraging Stanley to go and scream “fore” into the face of the injured woman. Which he clearly wasn’t, but you wouldn’t know that by reading that second line.

There’s no point to this post except maybe to point out how weirdly my mind works sometimes. And that if you do play golf, and your ball looks like it’s going to hit someone, warn them before it happens, rather than after. Because that’s the way that warnings work best.