The Lusikisiki Speedbump Conundrum

A couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of driving through some of the Eastern Cape: specifically the region formerly known as the Transkei. It was an eye opener of note – the roads crowded with children, goats, dogs, donkeys and potholes. Most of the journey was through the unique rural landscape, but we also travelled through the towns of Bizana, Flagstaff and Lusiksiki. The former two were busy, bustling and dirty; the latter – a hilltop settlement developed from a military camp established in 1894 – was more notable for its huge number of apparently unnecessary road calming measures.

No driver particularly likes speedbumps, but I think that the majority of us can understand the need for them in certain places: near schools, pedestrian areas etc. What I didn’t quite understand was the need for 79 (seventy-nine) of them (and 31 rumble strips) on the R61, in and around Lusikisiki. The majority (though not all, as keen mathematicians will note) of the speedbumps were arranged in groups of 6, perhaps 50 cm apart. Having watched minibus taxis repeatedly slowing to a near standstill to traverse these devilish sets, I can attest to the fact that they are a particularly effective way of slowing vehicular traffic down.

But, as I mentioned, slowing it down for no apparent reason whatsoever. Even when you leave the town and are heading back out onto the roads snaking south towards Port St Johns – the speed limit back up to 80kph, there’s yet another lot – in the middle of nowhere. It was almost as if they’d been put there for the sake of putting them there – or because someone needed to be paid for something tangible. Look, I’m not suggesting that the local municipality is in any way corrupt, but it’s kind of tough to work out what other reason there could be for so much utterly pointless work being done when the whole area is so severely impoverished.

Hmm.

I was reminded of this anecdote:

Some years ago the mayor of a small rural town in the Eastern Cape visited his friend, the mayor of a similar town in Zimbabwe.
When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Zimbabwean mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.
The Zimbabwean replied: “You see that bridge over there? The government gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.”
The following year the Zimbabwean mayor visited the Eastern Cape town. He was simply amazed at the Eastern Cape mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs; it was marvellous.
When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Eastern Cape mayor said: “You see that bridge over there?”
The Zimbabwean replied: “No.”

Indeed. There’s no new bridge in Lusikisiki, but there are speedbumps for Africa… and beyond.

Bugs in the news

Again. Bugs are always in the news, but this weekend provided lots of newsworthy microbiology. Primarily agricultural stuff, but still with at least some (or more) human interest. It’s obviously part of my job to make you realise just how important and relevant microbiology is, so here’s a quick snapshot of what we got served this week.

Bird Flu in Lancashire. Yep. H7N7 in Goosnargh, which coincidentally sounds like a description of the noise a gander might make just before succumbing to the virus. There’s a a 10km surveillance zone and a 3km inner protection zone around the farm in question, and anything poultry-related in that first 28.27km² is being killed. H7N7 is one of the avian flu viruses that can also infect humans (and pigs, seals and horses), so it’s worth keeping under control for more than just the sake of the local chickens.

No Chicken Love in USA. If you want to head away from Virusville, try going down the bacterial route, because Bird Flu isn’t in the only thing that you can get from your chicken: Salmonella can be a proper bastard, too. I contracted Salmonella enteritidis PT4 from a dodgy chicken dish in a dodgy Italian restaurant in a dodgy street in Oxford in the late 90s and I can still remember how sick I was. The main symptoms were sweating, shaking, swearing and farting. Thus, it was a thoroughly unpleasant time for all involved. But all I did was eat some chicken – imagine how much more likely you are to get the bug if you… you…  kiss… your chicken.

In interviews, ill people answered questions about contact with animals and foods consumed during the week before becoming ill; 82 (86%) of the 95 ill people interviewed reported contact with live poultry (e.g., chicks, chickens, ducks, ducklings) before becoming ill. Sixty-four ill people who had purchase records available reported purchasing live baby poultry from 17 different feed supply stores and hatcheries in multiple states. Ill people reported purchasing live poultry for backyard flocks to produce eggs or meat, or to keep as pets. Many ill people in these outbreaks reported bringing the live poultry into their homes, and others reported kissing or cuddling with the live poultry. These behaviors increase a person’s risk of a Salmonella infection.

The states worst affected are Alabama, Mississippi and Virginia. I’m saying no more.

Bee Flu in Cape Town. Not strictly Bee Flu, but American Foulbrood Disease, caused by the spores of Paenibacillus larvae ssp. larvae. It’s nasty, and it’s killing thousands of bees in the Western Cape. The good news is that you and I can’t get it (although I wouldn’t advise cuddling or kissing any bees). The bad news is that if it doesn’t get sorted soon, then not only will local honey prices rise (oh no!), but the local fruit industry might collapse:

“As much as we can import honey cheaper from other countries, we cannot import the pollination service done by bees. If not controlled, the disease would also affect the fruit industry, which contributes a lot to the South African economy, and put food security at risk.”

Paenibacillus larvae is related to the bug that causes Anthrax, and their spores can survive for decades unless you kill them with fire. So that’s literally what you have to do with your infected hives and equipment. Not ideal for the longevity and continuation of your bee-keeping business.

Dog Foot Popcorn Odour Mystery Solved. Do you sniff your dog’s feet? For me, that’s right up there with cuddling and kissing your chicken. But there are, apparently, some individuals out there who do this and then – after a brief paws – report back that the feet in question smell “like popcorn”.

Why do dogs’ paws smell like popcorn? Because bacteria, obviously:

Dog feet are a great place for bacteria and yeast to take up residence because there’s a lot of moisture and little to no air circulation in the folds and pockets of skin between the toes and foot pads. Bacteria flock there and reproduce with exuberance. All these microorganisms emit their own distinct odors (they’re what give us BO), and the popcorn/corn chip smell on some dogs’ feet could be due to yeast or Proteus bacteria. Both are known for their sweet, corn tortilla–like smell. Or it could be Pseudomonas bacteria, which smell a little fruitier—but pretty close to popcorn to most noses.

Having years of laboratory experience, I can safely say that yeast smells like bread, not popcorn (I love the smell of freshly grown yeast on a plate) (just try not to think of where it came from). Pseudomonas spp. smell sweet and pleasant (but not of popcorn), and Proteus is a mix of fish (not good fish) and vinegar. Thus, I’m struggling to get the popcorn reference here. But equally, I’m not going to go down the road of smelling Colin’s dirty feet (or anything else) in the name of science.

Z is for…

Phezulu Safari Park was arguably the second most bizarre place we visited in KZN. (More on the winner of that auspicious prize at a later date.)
A mish-mash of animals, posh housing, a curio shop, an apparently traditional Zulu village and a snake park, the reviews on Trip Advisor were divided, from the sublime through to the frankly terrifying. It wasn’t cheap either, so we were taking a bit of a chance.

First up was the tourist-aimed – but still educational – Zulu dancing and village tour. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this was that about 70% of the audience was Zulu. The dancing was good, the story-telling and village tour, interesting. I learned a lot.

The (45 minute) game drive was initially disappointing, but then I had been rather spoilt recently at San Bona. Still, the kids got to see a giraffe up close (real close) and then we headed back towards the reception place, through the larney housing complex. And, weirdly, that’s where all the animals were. We were asked not to take photos with houses in the background, and we did our best to comply, but it was difficult, because literally, that’s where all the animals were. Wildebees, impala and zebra all over your grass: lawnmowing and fertilising in one.

The beagle would have (rightfully) gone bonkers. The guide told us that there was nothing there that would eat you (‘erbivores, in’t they?), but that an irritated wildebees would happily trample you to death. (And we all know about the dangers of giraffes already.)

It wasn’t San Bona (although in fairness, it never claimed to be), and the kids did enjoy seeing the animals at such close quarters. But it was a bit of a weird experience.
As I mentioned above, the reviews do seem to be a bit hit and miss, and that describes our experience pretty well.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you are headed that way, this might just be for you. Or it might not.

Tumblrs

People put the weirdest things on the internet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Often, either way, it’s on tumblr. Here are a few that could fall into either category.

Who Rang My Doorbell?

I wired up some automation such that a webcam takes a picture of whomever rings my doorbell.

He did. The result is a number of uninteresting, slightly out of focus photos of uninteresting, slightly out of focus people.

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Kim at the museum

Man holds up photos of Kim Kardashian in front of artwork.

Some of these are quite good. Most, not so much.

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Combophotos

Photos Arranged Side-by-Side to Create Clever Scenes

Yeah. This is pretty clever stuff.

tumblr_nq9zu0NZoc1s6ziw6o1_1280See? It’s half a photo of an aerosol can and half a photo of a fire hydrant. Clever, ne?

Drunk Furniture

Upholstrred, mate. Abslertly uppholsted.

Furniture in unusual places, doing unusual stuff. Drunk.

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Very good. Please leave any other suggestions in the extensive comments section below. Ta.

Long Haul

I’m currently on a local flight, assuming that all has gone well with the somewhat radical plan of waking up and getting to the airport. My last few tripss have been intercontinental behemoths, with door to door journey times of nearly 24 hours. But they each included two flights, and door to door means getting to airport, checking in, connecting and catching a train at the other end etc etc. It could have been a lot worse. I could have been on one of these flights – the top three longest commercial long haul flights… IN THE WORLD [/clarkson]

Straight In At Number Three:
Los Angeles to Abu Dhabi on Etihad is 8390 miles and 16.5 hours
(LAX-AUH, EY170, B777)

Pros: You go pretty much right over the North Pole.
Abu Dhabi is an awesome connection hub.

Cons: You have either been, or worse still, are now in Los Angeles (Where the helicopters got cameras).

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A New Entry At Number Two:
Atlanta to Johannesburg on Delta is 8439 miles and 16.5 hours
(ATL-JNB, DL200, B777)

Pros: Kruger National Park. Africa!

Cons: No flat topped Mountain.

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But Your Number One Is Still:
Dallas to Sydney on Qantas is 8578 miles and 17 hours
(DFW-SYD, QF8, A380)

Pros: None.

Cons: Dallas. Sydney.

This is the world’s biggest airliner on the world’s longest route. The A380 carries a massive 323,000 litres of fuel for this trip.

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Compare and contrast these with the shortest scheduled commercial flight in the world:  The 1.7 mile hop between two Orkney Islands just north of Scotland: Papa Westray and Westray (PPW-WRY, LOG358, Britten Norman Islander).
Operated by Loganair, the flight duration is officially two minutes. Here’s a video indicating the distance between the two airfields:

There’s also a video of the Sydney – Dallas flight, but that’s a whole lot longer and has Americans and Australians all over it.

I’ll spare you.