Recently defaecated? I bet you don’t know where your faeces are now, do you?
(I can’t believe I’m writing this.)
Well, thanks to the power of the internet, you can track your poo using flush tracker, which will tell you exactly where your number twos are now.
Sadly, I have reason to doubt its accuracy as I just tracked a dummy poo going up a 1:6 hill at 4.28mph (6.88kph) from my parents’ house in Sheffield.
There is a good reason behind this useful initiative, of course: raising awareness for World Toilet Day, which is actually quite important and not at all funny.