This will end well… (not)

Stand by for quite possibly the worst decision to hit Cape Town since they allowed me to live here:

City opens Sea Point Promenade to cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers during Transport Month

Yep. You read it right. The already congested Sea Point Promenade is about to be opened to “users of alternative transport methods, also known as Active Mobility”.

As David Moseley tweeted:

Cyclists on Sea Point promenade. Plus loony runners. Plus dopey dog walkers. Plus elderly strollers. Hello Prom Carnage. Daft, utterly daft.

Of course, our friend Councillor Brett Herron reminded everyone:

Cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers must, in all cases, give right of way to pedestrians, prams and wheelchair users, and travel at a safe and sensible speed.
“We have consulted local representatives for the various types of non-motorised transport, who have offered to launch Twitter and Facebook campaigns to remind their members of the basic rules of etiquette expected from Active Mobility users on the promenade,” said Councillor Herron.

So that’s alright then, because we know that cyclists are law-abiding citizens at the best of times. And yes, I know that someone will comment on here that they are a law abiding cyclist and so are all the cyclists they know. Been there, read that, seen you on the roads.

Has this decision been sponsored by MediClinic or something? I recognise it’s just a trial period and I’m sure that the best will be made of whatever decision is made at the end of the trial, but how many people are going to get hurt on the first sunny evening of October?

But wait, just in case you didn’t think that this was risky enough, this:

This trial period will also cater for the increasing numbers of tour guides taking groups of cycling tourists along key scenic routes in the city.

Groups. Of. Cycling. Tourists.

Groups of cycling tourists on Sea Point Prom.

It’s like the perfect storm of potential injury. Why not blindfold everyone and add some crocodiles as well, just to ensure maximum carnage?
Hell, why not blindfold the crocodiles too.
Hilarity will ensure.
I promise.

Why can every Cape Town resident on social media immediately see that this is a seriously flawed plan, yet the council – presumably having weighed up the pros and cons – think it is a good idea?

While completely appreciating the idea that the Prom is “a treasure to be shared with people from all over Cape Town and beyond”, I can’t see this ending well. At all.

Comments below, please…

9 thoughts on “This will end well… (not)

  1. I wonder if the city is liable for damages, or if new rules mean if you get hit by other people’s bikes the city bears no responsibility. So joggers will have to return to the street so the bikers can use the promenade. That makes amazing sense. Next year to celebrate transport month let’s test whether we can open the promenade to small vehicles, and see how the cyclists like that.

  2. Well, Brett Herron has proven before he’s not necessarily the brightest candle in the chandelier.

    And one small correction, they’re not proposing to take the cycling tourists along the Promenade. It’s “along key scenic routes”, so perhaps you shouldn’t even consider taking a trip around Camps Bay any time soon. That rather narrow road (Victoria Drive??) is now going to have even more wheezing unfit tourists with poor bike control riding along it looking out at the ocean (or the topless babes on the beach) paying precisely zero attention to where they’re riding.

    I think it’s sponsored by Medi-Clinic, Netcare AND Life. Can’t just be one of them. The payouts would be too big!

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