Late final

A late one this evening. An unexpected lie-in, a Year 4 Science project and a horrendous visit to the local shopping mall – which was somehow full beyond even pre-Christmas levels – almost did for me before we headed out to see friends in the Deep South.

I selflessly fell upon my sword regarding the shopping mall, saving others from a similar hellish experience via the power of social media.

At least three individuals got in touch to say thank you, and it’s that sort of gratitude that makes my sacrifice worth it.

Also, I got lots of new coffee pods at a hugely discounted rate, which was a bit of a bonus.

Tweets I thought I’d get in more trouble for than I actually did

Number 1 in a series of… well… probably quite a few, to be honest.

This ended up on my timeline yesterday evening:

Local “musical” act “The Kiffness” is referring to the Afrikaburn festival, which took place in the Tankwa Karoo this past weekend. It’s the South African equivalent of Nevada’s infamous Burning Man festival, and the final acts of the event involve the burning of some of the large artworks.

“The Kiffness” makes the point that the materials used in those installations that are burned could be put to better use to help rebuild shacks in townships which are regularly affected by fires.

And he’s right. Perhaps they could be.

But…

If we’re going to choose to police what people can do with their private property and money, if we’re going to choose to police free thought and art – however destructive it may be or seem to be – then let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Because it wasn’t so long ago that “The Kiffness” voluntarily posted this on one of its social media feeds:

Yep. There’s our protagonist outside one of Cape Town’s more salubrious venues, with a fistful of dollars and a hashtagged promise to #makeitrain*.

An image which I included in my reply to his original tweet:

Yep. Surely, if there are better things to do with the materials used in the construction of flammable artwork, then there were also better things to do with that that R600 – especially in Cape Town’s CBD in the middle of winter?

Some would argue that even if there were no local poverty or homelessness, there would always be many better things that you could do with R600 than spend it at Mavericks.

But I’d say that what “The Kiffness” chooses to do with his money is his choice. Just that his Afrikaburn thoughts might gain better traction were he to practice what he preaches. I’m reliably informed that “The Kiffness” does “jazzy dance and electronic music”, but apparently it doesn’t draw the line at delving into HipHopcrisy.

Sorry, not sorry.

I thought his legion of fan would come after me for pointing this out, but evidently, it was busy doing other stuff yesterday.

Oh, and it’s worth noting that the Afrikaburn organisers do support a number of local charities, including:

The Bergie Bag Project
Bags of food, clothes and medical supplies to homeless people in Cape Town.

I’m sure R600 would go a long way to supporting the cause of those sleeping rough near Mavericks on Barrack Street, and beyond.

 

[For the record: I have no affiliation with Afrikaburn, “The Kiffness” or Mavericks, and have happily, repeatedly and successfully avoided all three during my time in South Africa.]

 

* I am of the opinion that this should likely read “make it rain” – a popular culture reference described thus: “When you’re in da club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money”, and not “makei train”, which is the railway route between Minsk and Kalinkavichy, funded under Department of Transport and Infrastructure Minister (now Belarusian Minister of Foreign Affairs), Vladimir Makei.

I hope this clears things up for you readers. 

My Instagram

I get quite a few requests for details of my Instagram account, despite it being linked to just over there on the right.

Anyway, here it is, along with a few other of my accounts you might want to follow:

My Instagram
My Flickr
My Twitter
My Facebook
My Youtube

And a couple of my Spotify playlists:

inspired by 6
just another indie/britpop playlist

I look forward to record (no pun intended) numbers of listeners.

 

Please feel free to add me on your social network(s) of choice.
Unless you’ve had enough of me already; in which case, why are you still reading this?

Two Eighty

My favourite twitter post about twitter’s new 280 character limit was this one:

I know that it might not mean a lot to those readers who don’t use twitter, so belatedly, I’m dedicating this post to those readers who use twitter.

Sorry to the rest of you.

As for the 280 character limit, I’m slight on the I’d-rather-that-they’d-just-left-things-as-they-were side of ambivalent, but I won’t be demanding a refund (just yet).

Doomed Cape Town

With all the global talk being of the upcoming nuclear war between the USA (+UK, EU, South Korea) and North Korea (+China), I wondered if that was also the biggest worry on the minds of the folk all the way down here in the bottom left corner of Africa.

I chose four things which myself and my Cape Town dwelling colleagues considered particularly worrying right now and employed the most scientific method of measuring local fear that there is: a Twitter poll.

Obviously, we had to start with the whole World War Three thing. Because that’s why we got to wondering about this question in the first place.
Perhaps equally obviously, the drought is in there. Particularly as it’s a ROASTING hot day in the Mother City today and it’s basically never going to rain ever again (tomorrow’s drizzle doesn’t count).
And then, after I stumbled across this Facebook group on the weekend, the Cape Town Tsunami had to get a mention.

Just for the record, the “warnings from multiple sources” which they cite are basically a handful of people who have dreamed about a tsunami hitting Cape Town, like Debbie for example:

A truly mericaluous escape. (What happened to your son, by the way?)

…and the word of a local charlatan Pastor who wants your money “had a vision”. If you want to read more (and you do, because it’s a deep, deep rabbit hole, go and have a look at their 73 (seventy-three) page dossier, full of reasons why the tsunami will take place (not enough people being Christians, shockingly), many details of how it will occur (big wave, mostly), and what exactly will happen:

Every time I stand in Town , Milnerton God tells me and reminds me see this tall buildings they will be completely covered with water
When I stand on Sir Lowreys pass God reminds me only those who come over this pass at that given time will be safe
Snakes will be in the water and bite the people and they will die
It’s almost like those who survive water will die by shark attack or snake bites

Hectic. Milnerton God doesn’t mess around, hey?

But I digress. Often.

The fourth option was one that has plagued the province for time immemorial: the Twitter account of Lord High Empress of the Western Cape. Like here. And here. And… er… here.

Certain individuals have long believed that one of Helen Zille’s tweets would spell the end of the Western Cape… somehow. But is that something that the general public also buy into? Our poll will tell us.

The results are in:

As we can see, the religious nutcases predicting their god-driven tsunami are the least of Cape Town’s worries. Quite rightly, too. They’re not called religious nutcases for nothing.
And nuclear war – an altogether much more likely doomsday scenario – is of limited concern to Capetonians too. Could this be a geographical thing, or is it because they are actually much more panicky about one (or both, but twitter polls don’t allow for multiple voting) of the other potential apocalyptic situations?

And it’s Helen, who takes it by a head, although if I were the drought, I’d be eyeing up a coalition with that impending nuclear war to sneak top spot.

Clearly though, the two options are troubling the majority of Cape Town citizens, and I don’t really think it’s a matter of one winning through over the other. These are obviously both issues that are of huge concern to people here.

Sadly, it seems like the only thing we can do to prevent either disaster actually happening is to cut down on the amount of water we use, and cut down the amount of Twitter that Helen Zille uses. Given the numerous failed attempts by the City Council and Mmusi Maimane respectively to achieve these goals, neither seems very likely to happen any time soon.

We’re doomed, Cape Town. Doomed.