On fake twitter accounts

I love local political press releases. And this one from the new police minister is particularly good.

Of course, Bheki Cele’s predecessor was hugely active on twitter. Sadly, he was more active in twitter than at doing his actual job. Happily, he’s now not doing his actual job anymore. Lovely.
But will our new minister be busy on the social medias? No chance – if you’ve seen an tweet from him, IT’S FAKE!

The Minister wishes to state categorically clear that any Twitter account or any social media account operating in his name is Fake and that no one is authorized to operate any social media account in his name.


But wait, there’s more:

The mushrooming Twitter handles in the name of the Minister are viewed as sinister and are aimed at dragging the name of Minister Cele in all dirty and tricky mud games in the social media space for reasons best known to the ghost operators.

I actually only go onto Twitter to engage in all dirty and tricky mud games in the social media space. The rest of it is rubbish.

Social media remains a respectable communication platform that should be exempted from any abuse by ghost operators.

Ok. I’m in agreement here. Ghost operators should stick to operating ghosts. That’s definitely what they’re best at. Not abusing respectable communication platforms. No-one needs that. And what happens to all the unoperated ghosts while all this abuse is going on?

A frankly terrible situation.

This is a typically robust, ridiculously nonsensical start from Cele, and I can’t wait for what’s coming next.

Generally good news

Well actually, Lieutenant-General-ly good news (see what I did there?), in the form of this hugely reassuring press release from the Nigerian Army:

If you are just after a quiet life (whatever country you may be in), then this is clearly great news. Peace good, war bad, amiright?
In publicly asserting that planning to attack any country is categorically not happening…

For the avoidance of doubt, Nigerian Army is not planning to attack any country.

…Lieutenant-General Ty Buratai NAM GSS psc(+) ndc (BD) BA (Hons) MA MPhil has obviously reassured people in any countries right across the world. In doing so, he has, however, also opened up a triple-edged Pandora’s box of doubt.

First off, what if he doesn’t repeat this peaceful assertion? Given that we needed to be told that the Nigerian Army is not planning to attack any country, is the status quo now that the Nigerian Army is planning to attack any country if they don’t tell us that they are not planning to attack any country?

And then what of the other Nigerian Armed Forces? The Nigerian Navy and the Nigerian Air Force? A quick glance at their recent press releases reveals an alarming lack of assurances that they are not planning to attack any country. It’s concerning stuff. If I was in any country (which I am), I would be rather unsettled about the plans of these other two Nigerian military bodies. Very worrying.

Finally, may I just alert you to the other armies of the world, who – as far as I can see – are also not telling us that they have no plans to not attack any country right now? In fact, the Russians are telling us pretty much the opposite, and the Nobel Peace Prize winning President Barack “they’ve forgotten all the drone bombing I authorised” Obama is massing the US Army in Poland, right on Russia’s doorstep as a goodbye gift to the world just before he leaves office.

So while the Nigerian Army’s press release is hugely welcome, it’s merely a drop in the ocean. Still, every journey begins with a single step, and if some of the other world armies could possibly follow the Nigerian Army’s lead, I think this planet might end up being a nicer, safer place for us all.
Especially for those of us in any country.