Don’t snog your pet – rocket surgery research

We’ve covered the dangers of antibiotic resistance on the the blog many times before.
We’ve covered the dangers of unhygienic pets on the blog many times before.
Now, some rocket surgeons at Glasgow Poly Caledonian University have put the two together with some groundbreaking research:

I hope you are all sitting down, because the advice in this article is pretty shocking stuff, and may make you immediately rethink how intimately you’ve been living your life with your household pet.
I’m talking about near-incredible recommendations like:

Avoid kissing pets on the mouth

Seriously, just avoid kissing pets full stop.

Don’t let them pets lick your mouth or nose

This is basically french-kissing pets. It’s also to be avoided full stop.
And the nose fetish thing? Eww. No.

Pet owners should wash hands after stroking animals, particularly before meals

WHO KNEW?!?!?
WHO?!?!? KNEW?!?!?

Make sure pets eat from their own bowls and don’t use household utensils

I’m going to be a bit sick now.
And this from a guy whose beagle can’t even use a knife and fork anyway.

At least they stopped short of suggesting that you also always use a condom.
(At least, I hope they did: I haven’t read the whole paper yet.)

It really seems like these things shouldn’t need to be said to humans. We’re literally the most intelligent species on earth, and that’s why we really shouldn’t need to be reminded or warned not to snog our canines who were literally chewing on some faeces they found on the pavement just five minutes ago.

It’s also why household pets shouldn’t be allowed into establishments serving or selling food. It’s not about me being mean to your French Bulldog, it’s just about basic common sense and decent hygiene. It’s about your poor choices putting other people’s health at risk.

Honestly, you people disgust me.

Normally, I’d put this sort of thing into the Darwin Awards category: removing oneself from the gene pool through one’s own stupidly reckless behaviour. But that doesn’t work here, because sadly, this might – might – not actually finish you off, but it will lead to the proliferation of antibiotic-resistant bacteria which – as I mentioned above – might finish other people off.

Now, thanks to this “new” research from Dr Adele Dickson¬†et al., we’re able to actually demonstrate that your disgusting behaviour is bad for the human race in general.

Thus, for the good health of humanity, please stop this sort of stuff immediately. Ugh.

Remember, remember

It’s Guy Fawkes/Bonfire/Fireworks night tonight, and yes, for some reason this gets celebrated in South Africa too. No-one seems quite sure exactly why, but it’s probably something along the lines of people just liking an excuse to have a good time and enjoy some fireworks.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you do it in one of the 12 designated sites across Cape Town, and as long as you do it between the hours of 6pm and 11pm this evening. (Incidentally, these sites are also the only approved places for New Year’s Eve fireworks in Cape Town too.)

6322388040_53824e6d2a_bbigger and better on black here

Of course, there are several (or more) people who don’t like fireworks because they say it upsets their pet dog/cat/hamster/dassie, and while – as a beagle victim owner – I sympathise with these individuals to some degree, I would point out that the Gunpowder Plot took place back in 1605, and the celebrations of it (geographically understandable or not) began some years before you got your furkid pet. These are the sort of people who¬†choose to move next door to a music venue that’s been going for 50 years and write to the council about the “excessive noise” 2 weeks later.

So no, I don’t agree with your calls, facebook posts and online petitions to ban fireworks, you fun sponging killjoys.

It’s one two nights a year. Get a life.

Project Colin begins

For years I’ve managed to resist the demands of my wife. Most specifically, the demand where she wants a dog, that is.
But like the gradual erosion of the solid and steadfast rocks by the cold, relentless ocean, I have apparently crumbled.

A bit.

image

This is Colin, (Colin is a girl dog, by the way) who will be joining us Chez 6000 in a couple of weeks time. I remain rather unsure about the whole thing, but the rest of the family wants and the science proves that kids benefit from having pets (although the science doesn’t mention chewed shoes, hair everywhere or that smell) and so I have reluctantly given in.

Yes, I’ll freely admit that Colin is rather cute, but at least part of that opinion probably stems from the fact that Colin isn’t crapping all over my kitchen floor.

Yet.

This isn’t going to turn into a Colin blog, but if everything goes according to plan (or even more likely, if it doesn’t), you’ll almost certainly find some references to her at some point or points in the future.

Let it be known that Project Colin began here.