Earlier than planned

A bit of a post of ephemera today, which I was going to do this evening, but which I have had to move forward as we are fully expecting to be loadshod later.

All of which brings me neatly to this lovely interactive loadshedding map for Cape Town (link courtesy of @RichardAtUCT), which tells you when you can expect to be in darkness this winter as Eskom once again fails to supply us with the requisite amount of electricity.
Remember, you can also see the full DIY version here – which actually works better if you are wanting to calculate by area, rather than time.
I can’t help but think that integrating the World Cup calendar in there would help as well: for example, I’m going to miss most of the Spain v Chile game this evening, should the switch be flicked.

Talking of the World Cup (“seamless segue” can like to be my middle name), after their defeat to the Ivory Coast in Recife earlier this week, Japanese fans gave the stadium a thorough spring clean. Yes, really.

We’re all fed up with linkbait headlines like the one on that Japan fans story:

Japan Fans Did What No Other Soccer Fans Would After Their World Cup Team Lost

Rather than:

Japanese Fans Clean Stadium After Their Team Lose At World Cup

And now, some enterprising soul (it’s @jakebeckman) has come up with @savedyouaclick, which helpfully and literally saves you a click to find out what the tantalising morsel at the end of the linkbait is:

Just like that.

Finally, never use the Main Road to get anywhere in Cape Town. It might be shorter in distance, but it will certainly be longer in time. I have no decent data or scientific evidence to back this up, but I do have a book to sell.
Well, no, I don’t, but if I did, that might lead me to cut a few corners on the “good science” side of things.

And now, I must disappear, before the electricity does. See you on the other side…

Cape Town Loadshedding Schedules

CAPE TOWN’S NEW LOADSHEDDING SCHEDULES CAME INTO EFFECT FROM 1ST FEBRUARY 2015. CLICK HERE.

(For other cities/Eskom supplied areas – click here)

Loadshedding is back and once people realise this, the official City page will be inundated, will crash again and you, the information-hungry public, will be left in the dark, both literally and metaphorically.
Never fear: we’re here to help. Simply find your area’s number on this handy map – and then check out the images below to see when you can expect to be powerless.

To find out what stage loadshedding we’re on: check the red box on this page.

ls1

ls2

Hopefully, if we all do our bit, we can avoid the obvious nastiness of Stage 3, in which there’s almost as much darkness as light, although of course, it needs to be noted that if we didn’t have a mountain named after Lucifer overlooking our city, none of this would ever have happened.

EDIT: If you’re not on that map (like Table View), you’re supplied directly by Eskom, not the City and you need to go here to find your schedules.

Weren’t we lucky in 2010?

Can you remember all that time ago, back to those Halcyon days of Portugal v North Korea, France v Paraguay and no load-shedding? June 11th to July 11th 2010 was one of the finest months South Africa has ever had. No crime, seamless organisation and an amazing advert for the country in front of a worldwide audience.

It could all have been so different. Imagine, if you dare, that final at Soccer City. Howard Webb with his whistle, Nigel de Jong with his studs up and Andreas Iniesta going on another mazy dribble to absolutely nowhere, before falling over theatrically. The eyes of the world watching, enthralled…

And then the power goes out.

It’s a disaster. The country is a laughing stock and… and… well, look, it’s just a disaster, isn’t it?

But it didn’t happen. Despite the fact that we’ve long had power woes – 2008 in particular stands out as being load-shedtastic – we made it through that month with not even a flickering hint of a blackout. How?

Well, the answer comes – some 3½ years later – from a one Nelson Thabo Modupe, of Lichtenburg, who now tells us that:

he prevented power cuts during the 2010 Soccer World Cup through his prayers

You almost want his third name to be Jacob, don’t you? Just as long as his fourth one isn’t Julius.
Anyway, I digress. Often.

The fact is that Nelson saved the country from ridicule and deserves some sort of reward. He’s attempting to claim that now in the shape of a R250,000,000 (that’s about $6.09 at current exchange rates) payout from Eskom:

because he saved the power utility the burden and humiliation of load shedding

And, given the global audience and the hugely damaging effects of a power outage in any of the 64 World Cup games would have had, I think he probably deserves it. Cough up out of your phat R12.24 billion profit for the six months to September 2013, please Eskom. Give the man his money.

But before Nelson disappears off back to the North West province to buy heaps of precious metals with his newly-gained moola, just let’s hold on a bit.

Because with great power (and let’s face it, getting God to help Eskom out of tight spot is great power), comes great responsibility. And that’s where I think Nelson has let us all down.

How could we forget the infamous fake sign language interpreter at the Nelson Mandela Memorial service held at…wow… Soccer City, just last month? Yes, with (potentially even more of the) world’s eyes on us again, on the big stage – the biggest stage – we were internationally embarrassed. What an absolute shambles it was, start to finish. There were pieces in Time magazine, Sky News, the BBC and, Oh Sweet Jesus, even the Daily Mail – LIKE THEY NEED ANY MORE AMMUNITION?!?!?!?!???1!!

Nelson. Oh, Nelson (no, not that one, this one)… You could have prayed and you could have prevented this burden and humiliation of the fake sign language interpreter. You had the power to do this, Nelson, and yet you chose not to? Why would you expose us all to this ridicule, Nelson?

You have let the country down, and we deserve and demand compensation. Perhaps unsurprisingly for the purposes of this blog post, I feel that about R250,000,000 should see us suitably placated.

And now we know what you are capable of – and we freely admit that the whole Eskom thing was a truly remarkable effort, Nelson – I’ll give you until the end of February to have a word upstairs and get rid of that terrible Zuma bloke. Otherwise, I expect to see your cheque book out again.

I hope we’re clear on things now, Nelson.