Flat

It’s a Friday evening, it’s 8:12pm and I’m in bed.

I’m not sick: I’m just exhausted. This week has kicked my behind.
I lost. It won. It was a decisive victory.

A flare-up in my knee has dragged my recovery a couple of weeks backwards, and the associated time and effort to go and see the surgeon again, get another cortisone injection, get myself to another two physio sessions while feeling inflamed and sleep-deprived – on top of planning for the next two big projects at work – has finished me off.

If I sound a bit down and a bit sorry for myself, it’s because I am. But things will be better tomorrow (when you will be reading this). A good night’s sleep. The improvements that have come from those medical interventions this week. Scant plans that involve fun and exploration, while leaving time for watching some sport and enjoying some family time.

Not overdoing it. That’s important.

That’s why I’m in bed at 8:12pm on a Friday evening.

Intra-operative pic

So, long story short, it seems that my op didn’t go as well as we had hoped. The bleeding post op has been quite serious, and I’m still going to be struggling with the effects of that for at least a few weeks. I saw the surgeon again this morning to have the stitches removed and he wasn’t hugely happy with the way things have gone.

That said, this mini check-up did give him a chance to share some photos with me that he had taken during the op. And aside from the one which showed the bit that wasn’t quite right (and so which he removed), the rest of them were simply to demonstrate just how good my knee joint is (was?) actually looking.  But when he showed me this one, I had to take a quick snap of it, because I think it’s epic.

That’s a cellphone pic of his computer monitor, but I still think it’s pretty good. My cellphone is pretty good, remember?

Anyway, that was taken by an arthroscopic camera inside my knee joint, shows the scalpel making the incision for the arthroscopic instrumentation coming into the joint from the other side. (They make two incisions and use two tools, like this.) That smooth white thing at the top right is the bottom end of my femur.

You can see the writing on the blade!

This sort of photo appeals to me. It’s one thing to watch videos and see photos of scientific and medical stuff, but it’s quite another when the picture is of a bit of you that has been just there [points at knee] all your life, but you’ve never actually seen. I’d love to have been able to have a local anaesthetic and watch the whole thing live. (I… er… have done that before).

But how amazing is this photo?
Well, probably not hugely to you, but for me, it’s incredible. Because it’s me, see?

If it was you, you’d be amazed too.

My day

[Day 57 in the Big Brother House, and 6000 is getting twitchy.]

Truth is, it’s actually only Day 8. But this is post an operation that was supposed to take 3 days to recover from. And I’m nowhere near yet.

The good news is that I think that the bleeding in my knee has now stopped. So it’s now “just” a case of keeping it raised and iced and getting rid of all that fluid that’s stuck in my leg. That leg is a mess, physically and visually. My modelling career may be over (long) before it had even begun.

And while lying in bed binge-watching back episodes of Only Connect might be some peoples idea of heaven (me included, actually), it’s tempered somewhat by the pain each time I move anything anywhere.

So yes, I am a bit twitchy and a bit grumpy and a bit down. But then so might you be if you were stuck in my condition, forced to stay at home, and with this week’s lab work already a large blot on next week’s horizon.

Maybe a bit (more) of Series 12 will help with my situation…

Update

I’ve got some bleeding on my knee which has meant further tests and prodding in hospital today. I’m doing all I can to get myself sorted as soon as possible, but in the meantime it’s painful and debilitating.

So here’s something to just fill some space today.

Monochromatic barns from Caledon, taken about this time last year, before all this nonsense began.

Fingers crossed for a big improvement tomorrow.

Swell

Not much from me here today.

I’m definitely hoping to get back to work in the lab tomorrow, but my knee is still a bit of a mess. The bandages came off today (as instructed by the surgeon), but what’s underneath isn’t very pretty. My whole leg is quite swollen and rather sore, so I’ve been really taking it easy. I’ve been dozing, watching the Winter Olympics, and trying to find the image that Thomas Heaton took at 4:52 in this video so that I can share it here.

I failed on that one, but at least the Olympics and the dozing went well.

Once again, I’m left wondering how much of taking such amazing photos is down to skill (lots), how much is down to patience and hard work (lots), and how much is down to having the time and money to do it and the best equipment at hand (probably lots as well).

And so once again, I feel equally motivated and overwhelmed.

Anyway, back to reality and it seems likely that with a very busy week ahead, I’m not going to have the luxury of being able to drive a car, so Uber must step up.