Tag: kids

3am eternal

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Well, 3:03am to be exact. I was awoken from a troubling dream about Douglas Carswell complaining about a pontoon bridge. Scary stuff.
It was our 7-year-old daughter, calling from her room next door. I went through to see what the problem was.

“Well, there are three things actually, Daddy.”

I raised an eyebrow in the near darkness.

“Go on.”

“Firstly, I had a bad dream,”

Well, as you’ll just have read above, I knew all about that. I chose not to ask if Douglas was involved in her nightmares as well. I simply didn’t want to know.

“Oh dear, but it’s gone now you’re awake. What else?”

“I need to go to the loo, and also, I’ve been time-travelling.”

At this point, she indicated her clock, which said 3:03.

“Before, it said 3:37. Now it says 3:03. So I’ve been time-travelling.”

Kids, hey? They’re nuts. But it was the middle of the night and I needed to get back to the House of Commons.

I took her to the loo, and then tucked her back into bed at exactly 2:58am.

Sorted.

 

 

 

Hang on a second…

Dead

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Not literally. But an afternoon of braai’ing with several (or more) adults and eight kids aged between 4 and 10 years old, together with a near immeasurable amount of beer has just about done for me.

Not that it wasn’t fun. It was fun. But my ears are still ringing and my house looks like something akin to Attercliffe after the Sheffield blitz. But with a beagle.

More? Tomorrow.

Breakdown

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Listicle time. (Sorry). But those with children will surely recognise something from these (and here I quote):

34 Hilarious Photos Of Kids Losing It Over NOTHING

Indeed:

kid2

To be fair, I would have reacted in pretty much the same way.

kid3

Ataxia should not be mocked. This is sick.

kid1

Argh! The frustration!
And that wooden swan lamp would be enough to make most people throw a wobbly, anyway.

My best (worst?) experience of this was probably the occasion when my 3 year old son was crying because he didn’t know why he was crying. This vicious circle was only broken after about an hour (it felt like 8) when he ran out of energy and fell asleep. It was both very annoying and highly amusing at the same time, which I suspect is exactly why these parents took the photos above.

The day is coming…

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…when this will be me and Scoop:

hi-sweetie-how-was-school-today

There are a few differences though: I don’t own a green pullover (or any pullover, come to think of it) and I haven’t picked up a newspaper in years. Oh, and I don’t have screws for ankles.

The kids are very tech-proficient though. Alex has been emailing his best friend (who has been away) regularly and converses regularly with his UK grandparents via Skype and email. He also helps out Granny with her computer issues. Scoop is learning at school and from her brother.

However, the day that I get that sort of reply after a day at school will be the day that their internet access gets immediately revoked. Technology needs to work symbiotically in our lives; it’s not a replacement for human or family interaction.