Happycow

Because a Happy Cow is well… a… Happy Cow.

 

And yes, it’s a real thing, setting you back $2,700 plus P&P:

“Cows really like the powered rotating motion of the brush,” says Lonnie Boltjes, distributor of the new “Happy Cow” brush which starts and stops automatically.
Made in Germany, the “Happy Cow” is a coarse-bristle nylon brush in the shape of two cones mounted point to point on a shaft powered by an electric motor. The brush starts up automatically when a cow bumps up against it. The motor runs for about 60 seconds and shuts off unless the cow bumps it again. If the cow’s neck chain or strap accidentally gets caught and starts to wrap, the brush automatically stops and reverses itself.
The brush is made in short sections, with the longest bristles toward the outside. As the brush wears down, you can pull off the inner sections and move worn outer sections toward the center, putting new full-size brushes on the outer ends.
“We visited a 59-cow dairy herd in Germany where the machine was being tested,” says Boltjes. “They put a timer on the unit to see how much it was being used. Within a 24-hour period the machine ran for a total of 16 hours.”

Totes getting (a smaller) one of these for the beagle.

* and yes, I am very aware that the happy cow in the video above is not actually a cow at all. thanks.