Balls

Man moves to golf course, complains about number of golf balls in immediate vicinity of his home.

Yes, really.

Eric Schoeman turned to the Pretoria High Court to interdict the owner of the Emfuleni Golf Course on the Emfuleni Golf Estate from allowing anyone to play golf on the 14th hole unless the green is relocated to a position not closer than 40m from his premises.

Ah yes, the tricky fourteenth. Especially difficult with a  following northeaster, which often leads players to underestimate the distance to the pin and play their shots too long.

Many players, he said, play their shots too long [see? – Ed.], with the result that the house and adjacent living area are often hit by fast-travelling golf balls. He said apart from causing damage to the property, these balls may cause serious injury or even death if a person is hit by them.

I was once hit in the chest by a golf ball when I was about 12 years old. It remember that it left a very interesting bruise.

Schoeman said before he took steps to alleviate the situation somewhat, the house was hit by about 100 balls a month. Some of the balls hit the patio, some the porch, others the outside of the house, while some went right into the house.

These often damaged the furniture or pictures on the walls.

The danger with golf balls repeatedly hitting your pictures, of course, is that you’ll end up getting a hole in one.

Sorry.

At first sight, this may seem like choosing to live in the woods and then moaning about the bear excrement, or moving to the Vatican and being unpleasantly about the number of Catholics, but there is more to this story, including (allegedly) broken promises and property transfer.

I wood just hope that they can iron out their differences.