On UK politics

As Helen Zille puts foot firmly into mouth with her “Colonialism wasn’t ALL bad” tweet, thus conveniently removing the spotlight of the SASSA scandal from the rotten and rotting ANC, I spotted this on twitter this morning.
Not sure whose words, but… well… yes.

Yep. It’s free rein for the Conservatives at the moment. Theresa May could poo on the front lawn of Buckingham Palace on live TV* and she’d still win the next election by a landslide. Helen Zille? Not so much.

* not a campaign suggestion.  

Election faces

I think this sums things up.

ed-balls-2  _82854713_boz
On an unexpectedly good night for the Conservative party, it looks like the end for Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband and (possibly even, at the time of writing) Nigel Farage. After a tight election, during which campaigning was anything but exciting, widespread Facebook sharing of the political beliefs of various comedians, actors and musicians seemingly mattered not. What a shame.

The only downside is that now we have to put up with the pitiful calls of how unfair the FPTP system is (as if we didn’t all know that was the electoral methodology we were using) and the bias of the newspapers and the allegedly low turnout and and and… and how the NHS is dead and buried now (although that hasn’t happened in any of the previous 40 years that it’s been around under a Conservative government).
Just for the record, I worked in the NHS under a Conservative and a Labour government and both of them treated it with equal contempt. In fact, the only major difference that I could see was that we had a lot more infections in traumatic amputation wounds from the “45 minutes to WMD” Iraq war under the Labour government.

Anyway, it’s done. The winners will crow, the losers will whine.
At the end of the day – that’s how democracy works. And yes, it looks like a much better system when you’ve just won.

D&G

I saw this tweet this morning:


and I was intrigued, because Southern Scotland (much like the rest of Scotland) isn’t known for its support of the (blue) Conservative party.
I went to the (rather cool) website to have a closer look, and yes – it seems that in their latest polls, the Tories hold an ever so slender lead over Labour and the SNP in those three constituencies. I don’t actually come close to believing this, by the way. But supposing for a moment that I actually did, how cool are the numbers in Dumfries & Galloway?

dandg

That’s tight.

In fact, according to figures from the 2010 results, it would mean that those top three parties are separated by only 200 votes. It would also mean that the Conservative vote has remained completely unchanged while loads of Labour voters moved from Red Ed to Scary Nicola’s Party (SNP). OK, so that latter bit is more believable.

I have limited interest in the UK election, if I’m honest. I do enjoy the websites and the facts and the figures. But it’s all been a bit negative, confrontational and depressing. I’m not voting and unless something amazing happens, it’s probably going to end up in a horrible, horrible mess after the vote, no matter who doesn’t win.

Still, I’m going to have my beagle-eyes on D&G, and I’ll try to remember to update you on exactly how close it turned out to be after the big day.

But… How…?

As I write, the results from yesterday’s national and provincial elections are beginning to come through. “It’s early days”, as every TV and radio commentator has been repeatedly telling us, but at the present time, it’s all “as you were”, with the ANC comfortably holding the country and Gauteng, and the DA strengthening its position in the Western Cape.
No surprises with those first two, but frankly, I’m left utterly bewildered by the ANC’s disappointing showing locally. Not because their record on service delivery elsewhere is particularly good (it’s not) or because the stats show that the DA isn’t doing a relatively good job of running the Western Cape (they are), but because the DA never released anything quite like this ANC election ad:

Yes. Quite.

I know what you’re thinking: that Marius Fransman, right? Crappy politician, but brilliantly awkward dancer.

Suddenly, it’s no wonder he ignored all logic and reason when casting his vote yesterday:

“I can safely say now, we will, in this election, be trashing the Democratic Alliance in the rural communities… we will push up our vote in the black communities, and you’re going to have a big split vote in the coloured community… with that, we will definitely take the Western Cape this time around.”

HE KNEW ABOUT THIS VIDEO!!!!!1!

Marius, much like you are now, (assuming you made it through the entire thing unscathed) (which is unlikely), is completely flabbergasted that the ANC hasn’t swept to power in the Cape solely on the back of this astonishing musical performance. Indeed, the issue seems to be only that the ANC didn’t get enough people to see this video ahead of voting day. Because surely if they had done, we’d all be voting ANC. Even if we weren’t actually allowed to vote. Even if there wasn’t an election.
Yep, I’ve seen that video and now I want to go and vote ANC in the Western Cape, all day, every day. For year after confusing year, I’ve been wondering why I was here; why any of us are here. What is the purpose of life?

Well, having seen that video, now I know: it’s to vote ANC in the Western Cape.
Resistance is futile. Especially once you hear that cheeky little Orkees nod to Afrikaner culture at 3:11.

Mmm. Inclusive…

Helen Zille’s plans for DA rule in 2019 will now simply have become a pipe dream. Once this goes viral (which it surely will after being featured here), it’s Game Over for the DA. And for everyone else, too. EFF off. ACDP hee hee.
In fact, if this four and quarter minute euphonious extravaganza gets viewed beyond the borders of South Africa, I’d not be surprised to see the ANC achieving world domination within the next few weeks. It really is that good.

Vote ANC in the Western Cape!
Because if you don’t, they’re going to give us more kak like this next time…

Where did the Cape Party get its logo?

Yes, yes, I know. The election is gone. As is the Cape Party with their utterly miserable and rather embarrassing showing of about 1,400 votes. But then I just had a thought.
Hypothetically, should they win and declare the Cape independent, exactly where would the borders be? After all, while it roughly follows the borders of the Northern and Western Cape provinces, it’s certainly not exact – especially with that chunk of Eastern Cape coast included.

Well, it stands to reason that they would be wherever was needed to make the new state the (francesque) shape of the Cape on their logo, thus:

And that’s all well and good. But then I wondered where they had got that particular shape from. Did all three of them sit down and have a meeting about it? Was it a rough doodle? Or was there some other source?

And then I found this page on wikipedia, which featured this image and while observing the form of the (ironically) pale bit, realised that I need wonder no more:

“Map showing the proportion of the South African population
that self-described as “Black African” in the 2001 census”

But no – it’s surely just chance, right (even that chunk of Eastern Cape coast)?