CTICC signwriters demand increase

And who can blame them?

Cape Town welcomes The World Congress


Link

A conference so dull, it’s guaranteed to put you to sleep. But at least that’s the idea, so it’s still one up on accountancy.

Equine sign

In the week that Canadian diva, Celine “Ole Horse Face” Dion arrived in Cape Town to perform two concerts at Vergelegen Wine Estate as part of her Taking Chances tour , the Western Province Horse Society chose to release the following reminder to horse owners across the province:

African Horse Sickness
Link

Coincidence? I think not.

If only Canada had enforced some sort of export ban, we’d be feeling a lot happier in Cape Town right now.

I’m sure that I’m not alone in this city as I pray for hoarse of a different kind.
Won’t somebody please think of the children?

Going green

Incoming from the Ad Wizard: “A possible 6000 story?”

Yep – I’ll go for that.

Going green

 

Not sure where this came from originally or if it’s true.
But you know, this is South Africa and people are nothing if not resourceful.

It’s a cool story – I choose to believe.

Muse in Cape Town

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now.

Are you going to see Muse in Cape Town on 24th March?
You’re not?
Oh, it must be me then.

So goes a variation on a very old Dale Collins joke. And no, it wasn’t really very funny when he did it either.

I can’t recall being more excited about a concert since Glastonbury 2003. And I might not even have been this excited then. I am literally quivering with mounting anticipation. TTypingg iss a problemm.
I think that Muse* are probably the last big band in my “want to see them, but haven’t yet” category. Well, them and the Arctic Monkeys, but Arctic Monkeyism only really took off long after I left the UK. I’ve been wanting to see Muse for ~10 years now, but we (Muse and I) never got together. In leaving the UK, I thought I’d probably blown any chance of ever seeing them (or anyone even half decent).

In truth, Muse aren’t even topping the bill at the My Coke Fest concert.
In truth, there’s a whole lot of detritus to sit through before they come on, but I guess that I can tick a few more bands off the list (and I am looking forward to seeing Kaiser Chiefs).
In truth, although you are probably envisioning a backdrop of Table Mountain with Matt Bellamy giving it some welly up front on Hysteria, it’s more likely to be power cuts and the slightly less romantic backdrop of Rondebosch East, (which will also have a power cut).  
And in truth, although “Muse in Cape Town” sounds like the title of one of those ads for outlandishly expensive concert trips in the back of Melody Maker or Q magazine, it’s actually more a case of “Muse just at the end of our road”.
But that doesn’t sound nearly as cool.

So if you’ll forgive me – I’m going to milk this one for all its worth.
Right back at you, Ms Perry. *wink*

* Some great live downloads available here.

R437 is a poor effort at the Nellie

From news24:

Cape Town – A man who duped a bartender at the Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town to serve him with liquor to the value of R437, but could not pay for it, was fined R3 000 or six months on a charge of theft on Monday.
Dean Jacobs, 43, was also sentenced to an additional R3 000 or six months for the theft of a TV set that was attached to a wall at The Bay Hotel in Greenpoint.
Lawyer Sharon Williams told the court that Jacobs falsely informed the reception at the Mount Nelson Hotel in October 2006 that he was waiting for a friend to bring him his wallet so that he could book into the hotel.
In this manner, he was given a bar tab which permitted him access to the bar where he could drink on credit.
It is only when he already owed R437 for drinks, food and cigarettes, that the bartender approached him for payment. In his inebriated state, he admitted to the barman that he had lied and that he had no money.

Among the items listed on the charge sheet were a burger costing R60, eight beers, four Jack Daniels whiskies, a gin and four Amaretto liquers.

A number of thoughts spring immediately to mind here.

Firstly, how thick are the Mount Nelson’s bar staff? Why did the bartender not think to question why Jacobs had a television set, marked “Property of The Bay Hotel, Greenpoint” and still resplendent with twisted wall brackets, on his lap?

Secondly, why did it take the bartender 17 drinks (and a burger) to work out that Jacobs’ “friend” might not be turning up with his wallet? I wonder if it was as Jacobs crossed the unwritten threshold of R436 that the barman suddenly thought he’d better step in and ask for at least the first installment? Thanks to news24’s detailed reporting on how to dupe the Mount Nelson, I may pop in there tomorrow with a stolen tv, then carefully add up drinks and snacks to the value of R435 before I get sozzled, fall over twice and head for the car park.

Working on my average drinking rates, I’m going to say that we’re looking at an absolute minimum of 2½ hours of boozing there. Although, Jacobs is obviously an expert. Still, you can tell how bad things were getting as he slipped from the staples of beer and JD into the shady underworld of gin and almond liqueur. It’s the alcoholic equivalent of allowing one’s standards to drop and taking the ugly girl home from the nightclub. Actually, thinking about it, almond liqueur sounds more like he was ready to take the ugly bloke home… 

Thirdly, why on earth did he not go for a few stupidly pricey drinks at the start? The Mount Nelson is notoriously posh and expensive – to only rack up R437 (that’s about £32 or $63 for my non Saffa readers), well… it’s actually a damn poor show. Pathetic, even.
I would have fined him another three grand just for that.   

Finally, you’d think that news24 (South Africa’s premier news source) would have a spellchecker that might notice the fact that the word liqueur actually has two U’s.

Picky. I know.

Ooh – and photos from Franskraal, as promised in my last post, are now available at my flickr.

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