The Curse of 6000

On Friday last, over chocolate chip muffins and a decent cup of coffee at work, we reviewed the newspapers and jokingly made predictions for the rugby and various other sporting events over the weekend.

One of those “various other sporting events” was the Vodacom Durban July, which (for those not in the know) is a horse race, sponsored by Vodacom and run in Durban during July.
Now, I’m no expert on horseracing. Greyhound racing, on the other hand, I used to be quite good at. (Not literally the racing, you understand, but the prediction of winners therein). On our fairly regular visits down to the Oxford Dog Track in Blackbird Leys, I invariably came out with more money that I went in with. While others were basing their predictions on how good looking the girl leading the dog was or whether the canine defaecated on the parade lap (“It’ll be lighter now, see?”), I would study the form carefully, taking into account the weight, the trap, the opposition and the conditions.

It didn’t work every time, but it did work a lot of the time.

When it comes to horseracing though, I’m not so hot. And so, when picking a likely horse for the big race over the weekend, I went not on form, weight or whatever else: I went on the name. And I went for Big City Life, because in the words of the Mattafix song, I hoped that his attitude would allow him to “try for get by”, despite fact that in all likelihood, the “pressure nah ease up no matter how hard he try”.

In the immortal words of Captain Alberto Bertorelli:

What-a mistake-a to make-a!

Because Big City Life didn’t just not win. He died.
I’ve never managed that with a greyhound before, although I did accurately predict that the Stormers were going to be put out of their misery.

With this new found talent, I feel that I should let people know that – for the right price – I am available to predict victories for anything or anyone you want made into to dog food and glue.

When is the next Parlotones race, I wonder?
Or am I flogging a dead horse here?

UPDATE: Bah. Typically, the SPCA come out with a ill-thought through statement that “all horseracing should be banned“.
(Note – not even the RSPCA in the “Nanny State” UK thinks that’s a good idea.)
Well, sure SPCA – just as soon as you also come up with a plan to employ the 100,000+ individuals who are employed thanks to horseracing in South Africa. Oh, and when you stump up the R1,750,000,000 that it contributes to the economy each year.