Uh-oh

The Afrikaner press has caught up with superbug crisis:

image

As a microbiologist, I really should have told you about this ages and ages ago.

Oh, wait… I did.

Maybe I should have told you in Afrikaans.
Sorry, bit of an oversight on my part there. Here you go: Ons is almal gaan sterf.
Better now?

Dans, Dans, [censored] Dans.

Much amusement in Newcastle (no, not that one) OVER the weekend as Afrikaans rapper JACK Parow was escorted off stage halfway through his performance, in order to protect him from a small number of the audience who labelled him “satan slang” (devil snake) and a “disgrace to the Afrikaans language” after he swore on STAGE.

Afrikaans rapper Jack Parow says he is “cool” about being led off the stage midway through a concert in Newcastle when his lyrics upset some in the audience, and that he had a “rad time” regardless.

Parow, whose real name is Zander Tyler, was taken off the stage at the Vodacom Winter Festival on Friday night when a group, upset by his lyrics – which included profanities – physically threatened him.

One man nearly jumped on stage, but was pulled back by police called in to help festival organisers with the group.

A war of words erupted on the Newcastle Newspaper’s Facebook page, with people calling Parow a “satan slang (devil snake)” and a “disgrace to the Afrikaans language”.

Now, I can take OR leave Mnr Parow and I can HAPPILY manage without swearing in my music, but seriously now, what were the audience expecting? It’s like turning UP to a Metallica gig and “hoping they don’t play anything too loud”.
I have kids and I try to shelter them from swearing (amongst other things) as much as possible. That MEANS not taking them along to Jack Parow gigs (amongst other things). No matter HOW backward Newcastle is, the allegation that this performance was instrumental in corrupting their youth is a bit OTT.

Parow, unsurprisingly, was unabashed:

Parow said he was singing his song Dans Dans Dans when the microphone was taken from him by an organiser and he was led off stage. He then noticed police trying to calm a few men beside the stage.

“Some people don’t like the swearing. I was singing ‘Dans, dans f***en dans’. This one guy was shouting at me and said: ‘Why are you f***ing swearing?’, but that was funny because he was swearing at me.”

As you will have noted above, all of this has (typically) reared its head on Facebook, WHERE a couple of comments by Anthon von Lisenborgh have captured the imagination of some individuals and INTRODUCED random CAPITALISATION to popular culture:

The biggest IRONY for me is that Jack Parow’s shortened act followed that of Afrikaner Steve Hofmeyr (and whom Anthon comprehensively fails to accuse of being an “Artist of Satan”), a man perhaps BEST known for his racist rants, being divorced by his wife after having “numerous affairs”, assaulting the female editor of a popular gossip magazine and being described by the Deputy CEO of the South African Institute of Race Relations as being a disgrace to South Africa and of using his “not insignificant following to sow anger and hate among young white people”.

When it comes to role models, it would seem that the Afrikaans culture is struggling somewhat, but while Jack Parow CONTINUES to use the F-word (and he will continue to use the F-word) Anthon seems conveniently blinkered to Mr Hofmeyr’s shortcomings.

UPDATE: A bit more on Anthon – he’s written a book: Apocrypha 999 – The Mystery of Solomon and Queen Bilqis of Sheba – and in his author bio (filled with MORE random capitalisation), he includes THE line:

…do with it as you feel fit or do nothing if you want, it is up to you to decide and not me.

Obviously, the same doesn’t apply to concerts in North West Kwa-Zulu Natal.

Afrikaans Celebrity Voices on your GPS

File under: Titles you never thought you’d see on 6000 miles…

But, anyway:
Local company GPS Creative have been in touch with their latest product range – the perfect gift for a the man (or woman) who has everything this Christmas.

After all – who wants to hear that monotone, computerised american chick giving you directions when you could have the dulcet tones of Minki van der what’s-her-surname-this-week telling you exactly where she wants you to go?

I’d better just clarify – I think you get her voice as an add-on for your GPS, not actually her.
Still – you can dream.

And there are more: Kurt Darren, Oom Kallie Marie, Os du Randt, Pieter Koen, Shaleen Surtie-Richards – not to mention the legendarily ageless Riaan Cruywagen – to mention but a few.
It’s like the pages of HuisGenoot and Sarie (my inspirasie) have come to life and are accurately directing you to hard to find geographical locations.

So click on the banners and get the celebrity voice of your choice at the special rate of R149.95.
And they have an offer on right now: buy one voice and receive Bruno the Bender AND Franco Fontein absolutely FREE!

Bakgat!