The local internet is abuzz with rumour and supposition regarding a much rumoured and supposed overhaul of hugely popular Cape Town website Two Oceans Tribe.
Said Two Oceans Tribe editor-in-chief Steff Rottingham:
It’s true – we’re Nomu getting a makeover. We realised it was time for Puma a change a while ago. Some of the content was beginning to get in the Sunglasses Hut way of our adverts and that isn’t CapeRoyale the vibe we were looking for. No-one wants pictures of amusing Cape Town numberplates Piz Buin and stuff they saw on twitter yesterday cluttering up their Boschendal Wineries browser. People were starting to complain that the site was taking Butler’s Pizza too long to load and we’ve listened to them.
Thus, we’re Vida going to be dropping the content shortly Audi and just running with the ads. No spice.
We would have made this switch earlier, but we were busy with the Two Oceans Tribe DVD, Two Oceans Tribe book, Two Oceans Tribe branded placemats, Two Oceans Tribe chewing gum, Two Oceans Tribe ear and nose hair trimmers, Two Oceans Tribe tarmac, Two Oceans Tribe sellotape, Two Oceans Tribe free-range ostrich eggs and our latest venture, the Two Oceans Tribe Aluminium Smelter, which we’re hoping to build on Bakoven Beach, with a view to having the Two Oceans Tribe Aluminium Smelter Workers Union as part of the governing tripartite alliance when Cosatu withdraw over this whole Zwelinzima Vavi thing.
Once the website revamp is done, we can get back to our patented Two Oceans Tribe synthetic life and Two Oceans Tribe terraforming programmes so that cloned versions of me can be introduced to our new world – planet Caprice – which has a quasi-elliptical orbit not dissimilar to that of Venus. No spice.
I don’t think I need to tell you how chilled and beautiful that vibe is going to be, do I? No spice.
I have to say that I was one of those Two Oceans Tribe readers who was becoming irritated with how slowly the site loaded – think Dean Street traffic after a Stormers game – so I welcome this move. My only concern is where Cape Town is going to go now to find images of supermodels’ boobies, stories of local bergies doing odd things and irregular yet seemingly invariably positive weather reports for the peninsular.
How ever will we manage?
Thanks Simon
27 Comments
*gets popcorn*
Yes, I’m glad the good folk at two oceans tribe managed to remain true to the core and didnt sell their souls and bombard us with crap in the hopes of scoring another pair of shoes / sunglasses / nights stay.
You may want to edit your article… I dont see you mention the iPad at all? Steff would never make a schoolboy error like that.
OMG – wait until he sees this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehe. Terrible to open on opera mini as well.
jackie > Sweet or salty?
jpd > That would be terrible. And yes – I was shocked that there was no iPad mention in there too.
reader> who?
bloubergman > I don’t think it’s a browser-specific issue.
You have to scroll past all the ads and me me me crud to get to the post.. And what’s an apeil fanboi doing using flash? Grr..
wht a h8er.
jealousy will gt u nowhre in dis world.
@FaceOff Spelling like that isn’t going to get you too far in any world that speaks English.
Hah! Brilliant guys!
Have sent it on.
x
bloubergman > Perhaps the flash doesn’t bother people using apple?
FaceOff > Consider me wounded.
Simon > U haz told him dere. Thx.
Seth > Glad it’s been taken in the spirit it was written. No spice.
Better than brilliant – well done guys. Very funny.
I needed the chuckle – lots of spice.
This my friend, is quality.
Bleak the links didn’t work, how you gonna get the hits necessary to carry on living the holiday?
Also article tags are essential, other than that, can’t really complain.
Keep it real.
Kyle
Paul > Touched – thanks.
Kyle > Thanks – but those aren’t links. Just subliminal reminders of how Steff might earn his bucks.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dude, I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s time for the old guard to step aside, and let some people who actually have something interesting to say get a little of the spotlight. By my great grandaddy’s left nut 2009 was the last year 2OV wins anything at the SA Blog Awards
shouldn’t it be 2oceansbribe ??
Right on the button! haha
Ha ha ha CLASSIC! This is quality
@6000: You Sir, are a LEGEND! Classic!
That’s why I stopped reading that crud years ago and moved to something more intellectual: 6000.co.za
sheer genius
[unnecessary nastiness removed]
I loved every word of it – very clever and very funny! Well done in taking on the King of Bloggers.
Thanks for the comments, guys.
This was never meant as a nasty dig at Seth and 2OV.
He does his thing – and he does it well – and I do mine.
All good-humoured and friendly. Hence me deleting/censoring unnecessarily rude comments.
No need.
How about tackling Emma Heard of SkyNews next – a Twitter page has been created for her called @emmaturd, for being so negative in her reporting from South Africa?
Nice one.
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