As I write this, I find that I am in the most unusual of situations. One that is new to me. One that I have never before experienced. A difficult, delicate, unfortunate situation. But worst of all – an embarrassing situation.
Not the acute embarrassment that one feels when one exits the public toilets in Canal Walk trailing a long and dubiously stained tail of 1-ply from the back of one’s trousers. Or so I’d imagine anyway. No, that’s bad (like I say, so I’d imagine), but this is worse. It’s chronically embarrassing. This is the ongoing dull ache of a pulled muscle compared to the immediate but short-lived pain of a kicked shin.
I can hardly bring myself to admit this in such a public forum, but… but…
My wife has a better mobile phone than me.
Yes. I know. (Sorry, can someone help that poor man who’s fainted at the back, please?)
Compare and contrast my previously snazzy, but now aging W900i with her sparkling new and annoyingly-awesome K850i. It’s sickening. And the worst bit is that I was the one who advised her to rid herself of her cumbersome and error-prone Nokia N70 and equip herself with some K850i loveliness.
And who’s laughing now, huh? Well, actually, she is. Repeatedly.
Each time she innocently asks “have you seen what else it can do?” and demonstrates the latest dazzlingly brilliant feature she has discovered to our friends, she may as well be saying, “I’ll do the braai’ing tonight dear – remember you couldn’t get the fire lit last time, you snivellingly miserable excuse for a man!”
But enough is enough is enough (I can’t go on, I can’t go on, no more no…)
So – I’m ready to fight back. June is upgrade time and I have been browsing the Sony Ericsson site:
Sony Ericsson site screenshot
I can’t help thinking that they’ve missed a trick on there though. Where’s the checkbox for I want to: Have a better phone than my wife? Surely that is more important than all those other choices? After all, at the end of the day, the modern mobile phone must do everything, but more significantly, must have at least one more feature than whatever your missus is using.
I have found some very eligible young hardware which which to reclaim my rightful, alpha-male place on the mobile throne, chez 6000. Step forward Ms C902 and your roommate and “special friend”, Miss G900. Baby, I don’t claim to be an expert on mobile telecommunications devices, but I know what I like and I like what I see. Nice buttons, sweetie. So – do you girls come here often?*
Only problem being that they probably won’t be available in South Africa until 2012.
Hmm…I feel the need for a trip back home coming on…
* 6000 has been out of the dating game for some time.