Hysteria

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If I didn’t play the violin, I would want to play the cello. Cellos sound great. So when I spotted this earlier on StephanieBe’s blog, I simply had to share it on here because it’s an excellent cover of an excellent song, done… er… excellently.
On cellos.

So. Much. Energy.

As Ms Be points out, it’s worth clicking the SETTINGS > QUALITY and banging it up as high as your bandwidth will allow, if only for the better sound.

2CELLOS are Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hauser and have an album out, which includes their covers of Thunderstruck and Radiohead’s Street Spirit (Fade Out) which is very special.
Oh, and fun fact: this video was filmed at a real mental hospital in Pula, Croatia.

How History Works

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As researchers from the University of Oslo hinted that we must move blame for the Black Death away from rats and instead look towards their scapegoaty rodent cousins, gerbils, I was intrigued by one of the quotes widely published across the newspapers. It’s from Professor Nils Christian Stenseth, one of the gerbil-blaming Viking scientists, and he says:

“If we’re right, we’ll have to rewrite that part of history.”

‘Fair enough,’ I thought, but then I thought, ‘but actually, is it?’.

The Norwegians came to their conclusion by examining tree rings from the time of the European plague epidemic(s) of the 14th Century. And, although I’m no expert in tree-ring science, it seems to me that their hypothesis that it was the killer gerbils that brought the plague to Europe from Asia rather than rats, is solely based on the weather being warm enough to support the little bastards. Is that really enough? Wouldn’t the rats also have been basking in the deliciously temperate prevailing conditions that Prof Stenseth’s team describes?

The researchers are now going to look at the DNA of medieval plague bacteria for gerbil fur to see if that can shed any further light on which of the furry little shits killed 200 million people 600 years ago. But how sure do they have to be before Nils Christian gets his wish to rewrite history? And who gets to decide? Is there some panel that’s in charge of consensus in matters historical? And are they experts in dendrochronology? And microbiology? And anthropology? And everything else as well?

And do the gerbils get a say in this?

My feeling is that you can’t just look at a few trunks and stumps and decide that you’re going to change everything that’s gone before. There is clear evidence that plague bacterium was carried by fleas were carried by rats, so this new hypothesis needs much more work before we get the eraser out. Maybe if they spent less time examining old trees and more time working on a time machine, we’d be able to solve this rodent responsibility riddle once and for all.

In the meantime, until they’re in the clear, you might want to make sure your gerbils are safe and secure.

gerb

Yes, just like that, Brad.

Drop the Bass

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I’m obviously too old to go out clubbing these days. Hey, I was never even hardcore enough to beat up a cleaner in a car park or urinate on a taxi driver from a balcony, so maybe I wouldn’t have fitted in to the local scene anyway. However, I’ve been doing some rudimentary research and it seems that I’m actually still allowed to enjoy the music and be aware of the currently popular genres.

Thus, I was very amused by a recent spoof article, which uses zeitgeist language and convention to poke fun at those who use social media and the internet to demonstrate their over-sensitivity.

I feel like it is not my body anymore.
They can never say or do anything to make this up to me.
She was still distressed the following day and was allowed to go home early from her job.

That wasn’t the spoof article, by the way. That’s a real story (albeit in the Daily Mail).
Be upset? Fine.
Be annoyed? Absolutely.
Get in touch with all the national newspapers over a simple mistake? Get a grip, luv.

But anyway, back to the dancefloor – and this:

A local clubber who was left “embarrassed and ostracized” when he threw his hands up too early during an extended trance drop has decided to sue the club for emotional distress. Johnathan Entwhistle is taking legal action against the nightclub, which cannot be named for legal reasons.

It’s funny, because it rings so very true.

Fellow clubbers reported on the initial premature fist pump claiming, “We were so embarrassed for him. He looked so smug and “in the know” when he fist pumped. But when the beat didn’t kick in he just looked like a bemused, out of place, fool,” recounted one clubber. “He’s a good looking guy but after seeing that I find the notion of sex with him laughably unlikely, and I have very low standards.”

Very clever. But, as “Mr Entwhistle’s lawyers” point out, society now forbids us to go against convention, as the DJ on that fateful night chose to do:

“We’ll take this all the way to Native Instruments if we have to. You can’t just go against years of tradition and expect to get away with it. This isn’t just some tradition you can throw away as useless like Catholicism, or monogamy.”

Eina. But if there was ever a career where convention overrules all other considerations, it’s surely club DJ’ing. People love the music and the culture for its repetitiveness, its familiarity and its reliability:

Very good. “Davincii”? Hmm. I wonder who they’re poking fun at there.

50 Shades of John Summers

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Submitted by email as “something you might like” – and shared because “they were right”.
Thanks, you-know-who.

I’m not one for jumping on bandwagons, but I did enjoy this short poem and everyone else is doing it, so why can’t we? (Jump on the 50 Shades bandwagon, not… well… you know…)

The missus bought a paperback
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look in her bag;
…T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
…At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said…
I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.

She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit…
I thought oh well, what the hell,
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned Fifty Shades of Grey.

And no, contrary to popular belief, this isn’t by poet Pam Ayres, but it’s very much her style, so I can see where the confusion might arise. It’s actually by a guy called John Summers, of whom I know nothing more.

And now, no more 50 shades of anything on here. Probably.

Setting Suns

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Passenger joins a long line of artists who have filmed a video in and around Cape Town while touring out here (see Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Kasabian et al.).

Says Mike:

hello everyone ,
the whispers world tour came to an end on sunday so i thought i’d post a little video that we made over the last few days in CAPE TOWN. i can’t quite believe how beautiful that city is .
SOUTH AFRICA has undoubtedly been one of the highlights and fantastic way to end this adventure !!!!
the whispers tour took me and some of my best friends around the world and i’ll never forget seeing such beautiful things with such incredible people .
the song is called “setting suns” and it felt like a fitting sentiment .
as always , please feel free to hit the share button if you like what you see 🙂
thank you all so so much .
mike xxxx

I know that music people have their stage personae and that we can’t believe everything we see or hear from them, but Mike Rosenberg really does seem to be a very nice, gentle, down-to-earth kinda guy who demonstrates only a mild hint of creepiness when staring into the middle distance on the video.

The video features dolphins, penguins, gannets and seals, Camps Bay, cable cars and er… the setting sun (just one of it, despite the song title) – plus some bonus scenes from the Kirstenbosch concert.