Over South Africa

You join me traversing South Africa. Bottom left to top right. I’m on a teeny tiny plane, and there’s “lots of weather all over South Africa”, according to the captain.

That’s not good, because we’re also very much all over South Africa.

It has been unpleasantly bouncy so far.

The inflight magazine contains the usual plethora of advertorials: guest houses and safari lodges dominate, but there was a beautiful juxtaposition of an industrial rock crushing equipment supplier across the page from a laser tooth whitening service.

To avoid disappointment (and possibly a lot of pain), please make sure you ring the correct number.

In the same magazine, there’s the usual puff piece about the airline you’re on, and how they’re better than the other airlines. They advertise some of those differences as being “more smiles”, which I’m fairly sure aren’t objectively quantifiable SI units, and the opportunity to “say goodbye to rigid itineraries”.

Really?

Is it just me that quite likes the idea of a rigid itinerary when booking travel tickets? I can’t imagine that it is. It’s literally one of the most important things that I’m after.

For example, I’m hopeful that my accommodation for this evening is fairly rigidly booked. It really wouldn’t be helpful for them to be flexible enough to be “just a day out”.

Could you maybe pop back tomorrow please, Sir?

We seem to have finally hit some clean air, over what I’m guessing is the southern Free State. This means that I can stop thinking about flight safety statistics and engineering tolerances as mind-over-matter means of combatting the mentally challenging effects of the turbulence.

Aaand it’s back already. That didn’t last long. Quite bad. Tumble drier on a rollercoaster stuff, if you remember that post about the Christchurch earthquake that I can’t link to right now because I’m 37,000 feet up in the air. (Updated once safely on the ground.)

Really bad now. Not nice. Gasps and exclamations from passengers. I’m being stoic. Who would be listening anyway?

We’re turning. The pilots have had enough. Not back to Cape Town, but presumably looking for a bit of a clearer way around the bumpy stuff. Thank you.

Ok. About an hour to go. Agricultural landscape giving way to mining and industry beneath me.

Time to relax with some chilled electronica (it’s M83 in case you were wondering), stop thinking about that other stuff. and plan those first few shots again.

Looks like if you’re reading this, we made it.

Or at least my phone did.

Well, this looks nice

Away this week, as was mentioned here.

But assuming my flight actually lands, I’m not quite sure how much fun the outside bit of the work I’ll be doing up there will be. Why?

Well…

That’s rather warm. I’m especially looking forward to Wednesday, obviously.

On a more serious note, these are shade temperatures. It’ll obviously be warmer in the sun. And there clearly will be sun. I’m wondering how well my equipment (careful now) will cope in this sort of heat. And also its operator, obviously.

Reminder to self: pack sunblock. And air con.

It’s arriving

The infamous Al Kuwait is due to arrive in Umm Qasr in Iraq today.

I know. You’d forgotten all about that whole thing the day after it left, just like the rest of Cape Town had.

But the good news is that the ±19,000 cattle on board (or however many of them are left) will now be able to live out the rest of their long lives frolicking in the lush, green Iraqi pastures.

All’s well that ends well.

Happy days.

Rate this translation

Heading down to Agulhas today, so here are a couple of Facebook’s translation efforts from the local group down there. Because who could forget Election Rib Frame, and all the hilarity that went with it.

Facebook’s translation software is good, but it’s really not perfect. Especially when it comes to Afrikaans.

“Rate this translation”?
Literally: very good. Actually: Ridiculous.

Or this one:

Anyone get this one? Yes. It’s the cure for moles. Not the ones on the skin around your ass. The small f*&^#*g mammal that digs up your garden.

But Facebook can’t work out the context here, because the Afrikaans word “gat” meaning “hole” is also the slang for “ass”. (Incidentally, the word “slang” is Afrikaans for “snake”, which is probably your best bet for sorting out a mole problem, but still…)

So breaking down the edges of the hole and putting ground (not instant) coffee in there is apparently the way forward. Moles don’t like it. Silly creatures.

Or just scratch your ass open and pour coffee. Whichever you fancy more.

First lit 175 years ago

Happy 175th Birthday to this old place:

A sandstone tower 27 metres high, it was first lit on the 1st of March 1849, it’s been lighting the way around the dangerous Cape Agulhas rocks ever since (well, it took a bit of time out between 1968 and 1988, but we don’t mention that). From burning sheep tail fat (1849 -1905) to an oil lantern (1905 – 1929) to a petroleum vapour burner (1929 – 1936) to an electric light bulb (1936 – [1968 & 1988 – shhhh!] to the present day), it’s a National Monument, a Western Cape Heritage Site and an International Historic Civil Engineering Landmark, according to the American Society of Civil Engineers.

Phew!

And as the sun sets in Agulhas this evening, it’ll be on duty again: its lamp and first order Fresnel lens generating 7,500,000 candela, flashing white every five seconds, piercing the darkness for 30 nautical miles (56 km, 35 miles).

Happy Birthday, old chap.