PistoriusBalls 20

Verdict time, and it’s all about who can get some last minute self publicity for their woefully unprofessional unique take on the Oscar Pistorius trial. Early contender, Rebecca “Moar Whimsy” Davis is contending early with this, from just 12 minutes in:


While legendary Oscar veteran Barry Bateman is already blowing things up out of all proportion:  


Brett Kebble expert, Mandy Wiener is well known for leaving no detail unrecorded:

I’ll save you the minutia about Judge Masipa’s breathing habits. For the moment.


Meanwhile, how would you describe the courtroom?

Thus, what follows is a damning slur on the Durban curry industry generally. Although, there’s probably a market out there for thick and sweaty curries. Maybe.


There’s just time for a little bit MOAR WHIMSY!!!!


And we had to slip this “most bizarre tweet of the trial” tweet in:

Tomorrow, thanks to that early ajourney: maybe Bonus Balls!

Footy tonight and footy past

I’m off to watch South Africa take on African Champions and second-tier Ebola carriers Nigeria at the Cape Town Stadium this evening. It’ll be my fourth time watching the national team and I have yet to see them win.
Or… er… draw, actually.

The first Bafana Bafana game I saw was seven years ago yesterday, as it happens: Zambia in an Afcon qualifier at Newlands. South Africa weren’t very good that day and Chris Katongo scored a hattrick in 11 minutes for Chipolopolo ruining the return of Benni McCarthy from international exile. It finished 1-3. It wasn’t great.

And then, because of the World Cup and the politics of SAFA, we didn’t see another Bafana game in Cape Town until after the World Cup. Then, we got to see them play the USA at the Cape Town Stadium in the Nelson Mandela Challenge in November 2010. South Africa weren’t very good that day, and lost to a second half goal from Juan Agudelo goal.

We shouldn’t forget the last time I saw them, either. 8th January last year, against a decidedly under-strength (read: “B-team”) Norway. South Africa weren’t very good that day and eventually lost a really, really boring game to Tarik Elyounoussi’s goal just before half time.

South Africa have won one first-class game at the Cape Town Stadium: a 2-0 win against the Central African Republic in March last year. I wasn’t there, but I was reliably informed that the Central African Republic weren’t very good that day. And yes, there were the CHAN games too, but those don’t really count.

So Bafana’s record is fairly unspectacular in Cape Town, and even more so when I’m watching them. New coach Shakes Mashaba has requested everyone to come out and support the team this evening, but if he knew my history with watching his side, he’d probably be less keen to see me there.

The stadium in Sudan was fully packed to capacity. I hope it will also be the case in Cape Town.

Well, no it won’t. I’m not sure what sort of crowd they’re expecting, but I am told that the lower tier has sold out and they’ve opened up the second tier for bookings. That would probably mean somewhere between about 25,000 and 30,000 tops.

I’ll try and snap a few photos this evening and put them on twitter (tonight) and Flickr (maybe tomorrow).

Terry Alderton

Last night’s football disappointment meant that I ended up watching an old episode of Live At The Apollo while doing the late shift. The headline act was Terry Alderton. Previously, I didn’t know Terry Alderton, but wow – what a different routine. I did a bit of YouTubing and I found this, from Tim Vine’s One Night Stand:

It’s comedy that you have to think about, and I like that. The energy and the complexity means that even though he’s already fed you the punchlines, they’re still funny. But how tight must it have to be? It’s high risk stuff – lots that could go wrong. A very, very funny man.

Cut & Paste Disappointment

With Mrs 6000 getting up early for Colin each and every morning, I do the late shift. The late shift actually isn’t too bad – all it involves is not putting the dog to bed too early, because then the dog wakes up too early. Hardly revolutionary stuff. It doesn’t always work, and in fact last night it didn’t work at all and so we’re all a bit knackered this morning.

But that’s not the point of this post.

I was actually quite looking forward to yesterday evening’s late shift, because in an effort to keep me awake, I had pre-determined that I would watch England’s European Championship qualifier against Switzerland. I’m aware that if it was to be anything like England’s friendly against Norway last week, I may have struggled to combat the extreme soporific forces, but I had high hopes and they were only to be dashed by SuperSport, and not by another dull England performance. Because SuperSport weren’t showing it.

Previously, I would have raged a bit and then wondered what was going on and then raged further, more at frustration of not knowing why it wasn’t on, rather than the actual fact that it wasn’t on. But these days, we have twitter, and a quick look at SuperSport’s timeline told me that I wasn’t the only one wondering why we were missing out:


And let’s not be all South Africa-centric here – this is for the whole of Africa, including the footballing hubs of Nigeria and other countries in Africa that like to watch football. Beeg audience.
So – are they trying to get the rights? Will they get the rights? Er…


Once this week’s matches are over with, we have about 4 weeks before the next international break, which will feature more European Championship qualifiers, including England against THE MIGHTY San Marino. Hopefully, SuperSport will have sorted out this rights issue before then: after all, we’re paying quite a lot of money to be able to watch these sorts of things (and let’s face it, there’s not a huge amount of other stuff on DSTV that’s worth the subscription).

Meanwhile, Afcon qualification takes over on Wednesday evening. And although SuperSport do have the rights for that, I’m going to to go an watch Bafana Bafana v Nigeria at the Cape Town Stadium, simply because I can.


I cried. But these were tears of laughter, despite the tragic news from the Russian Space Agency.

Those geckos may not have been able to speak English, because they were Russian.
And they may not have been able to speak Russian, because they were geckos.

More brilliant John Oliver: