Meanwhile, in Randburg

midget revenge is the only form of revenge that works these days.

Presented (almost) without comment:

SA man seeks midget to kick ex
A Randburg man has posted an advert in which he would like a midget to kick his ex-girlfriend on the shins on the Gumtree classifieds website.

“I was recently dumped and require the services of a midget to go and kick my exgirlfriend in the shins whilst she is at work,” he writes.

The man, known only as Brett, works for a marketing company, told the Star that his advert was not a joke.

“I clearly took it out because I want my ex-girlfriend to be kicked in the shins. Midget revenge is the only form of revenge that works these days,” he said.

He added that his ex had dumped him after dating for two months.
The advert had been viewed over 2 600 times by Friday and Brett rejected suggestions that his ad was discriminatory toward people with dwarfism.

“F**k if I care. They know they are midgets. I’m not being politically correct about this.”

Brett also rejected accusations that he was promoting violence against women because the advert posted on February 27 says that his ex should be kicked “once (not too hard) in the shin, and leave”.

It is unclear how much Brett is willing to pay for the service.

Only in South Africa.

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Dilbert does fracking

This morning’s offering from Dilbert:

Of course, as Ivo Vegter pointed out, fracking doesn’t really cause earthquakes and as New Scientist recently told us, any water pollution is generally due to poor management of waste water – a hazard in many other industrial processes. So his evil plan wouldn’t really work.

Still, nice to see Dilbert’s company president using Christine’s Brilliant Idea. Fine work, Christine.

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When is a shark net not a shark net?

Well, when it’s an EXCLUSION NET, obviously. Colour me educated by the sharkspotters website:

Yesterday, 29 Feb 2012, the City of Cape Town issued a press release of a proposal to trial an exclusion net in Fish Hoek Bay (http://sharkspotters.org.za/media-release-city-to-consider-a-proposed-trial-installation-of-a-shark-exclusion-net-for-fish-hoek-beach). Almost immediately shark nets (as used in KwaZulu Natal) were confused with the proposal of the exclusion net in Fish Hoek. Below is a summary of the key differences.

SHARK NETS
What are they? 
Shark nets are large-meshed, anchored gill nets.
How do they work? They entangle and catch sharks reducing the population and numbers of sharks within the environment and thereby reduce the risk of shark attack.
Layout and structure: Nets are 213.5 – 304.8 m long by 6.3 m deep, have a black mesh of 51 cm (stretched) and are set parallel to the coast in 10-14 m of water some 300-500 m from shore.
Entanglements of marine animals: Not selective and result in by-catch of a range of other marine species such as turtles, dolphins, and whales. Risk of entanglement high
Ecological impact: Considered high.
Areas where used: KZN (South Africa), Australia
EXCLUSION NETS
What are they? Exclusion nets are fine-meshed nets and are not gill nets.
How do they work? Nets are designed to act as a barrier, physically excluding sharks, thereby preventing them from entering an enclosed area.
Layout and structure: Net is set to enclose a specified area, and stretches from the seafloor to the surface. Mesh size is 6cm stretched (3cm x 3cm on the square). Size of net is dependent on area to be enclosed.
Entanglements of marine animals: The fine mesh of the nets prevents capture or entanglement of marine species and the net acts as a barrier. Risk of entanglement low.
Ecological impact: Considered low.
Areas where used: Usually in calm waters like in Hong Kong and Seychelles.

The City is considering this because of the much publicised recent shark attacks at Fishhoek and Clovelly and the impact on the local Fishhoek area and community, including:

  • the perception of it as an unsafe swimming area due to regular shark sightings resulting in bathers being kept out of the water;
  • the impact that this has on local businesses, especially the tourism industry;
  • the need to protect the natural environment which is a unique marine asset; and
  • the need to be aware of and respectful of the current trek net rights at Fish Hoek Beach and the importance of these rights to the livelihoods of a number of people. As such the City will work with the rights holders to ensure minimal impact on those rights should the exclusion net proceed.

I see no problem with it and it’s good to see the City reacting and considering the needs and the economics of the community without going over the top and using the environmentally damaging shark nets link those in KZN. In addition, this is a trial installation – if it doesn’t work, it gets removed. That’s what trial installations are for.

Yep – good idea.

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Koeberg siren is just a test: Eskom

Much panic in Cape Town about the Koeberg Nuclear Power Station emergency sirens sounding, but don’t worry – it’s just a test:

Koeberg Emergency Plan Siren Test
29 February 2012
A full volume siren test of the Koeberg Public Warning System will be conducted in your area on the morning of 29 February 2012 between 10:00 and 12:00.

Only a test
The siren/public address systems installed in Atlantis, Duynefontein, Melkbosstrand, Van Riebeeckstrand, Philadelphia, Bloubergstrand, Bloubergrandt, West Beach, Sunningdale, Parklands, Robben Island and the farms surrounding Koeberg Power Station will be tested during this exercise.
Public Address announcements informing you of the test will be made before and after the sirens are sounded. No action needs to be taken by the public.
Remember: this is only a test.

Apologies if this ruins your plans for the rest of the week off with radiation sickness and a slow, agonising death.

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Max’s thoughts on Mandela’s death

I read this in yesterday’s Cape Times, but couldn’t find it anywhere online until this morning.
I’m reproducing it here in full because I feel that it’s a great read, bringing together a number of previously undocumented, yet actually fairly obvious ideas and notions around what will doubtless be a very emotional moment in time, and expressing them with objectivity and a great deal of common sense. Make time to read it.

One day he’ll bring us all together
I believe when people cry at the funeral of a loved one, they’re mostly not crying for the deceased, they’re crying for themselves. The death reminds them of their past lives, of their sadnesses and joys, of their own fragilities and mortality, of their apprehension of what lies ahead in their own lives.

We as South Africans and as people of the world know that Nelson Mandela is not going to be with us much longer. He will be 94 in July.

Not many people live that long. We have known for some time that he has become very frail.

And yet when he went to hospital again a few days ago, the headlines, comments and statements in the media proclaimed that the world was “holding its breath”, that his death would be “a trauma” to South Africans, that it would be a “dark day” for the country.

Yes, I will feel a great sadness when Mandela eventually goes. Yes, there will undoubtedly be a national and international outpouring of grief.

But it will not be because we’re sad because we’re actually going to miss him. We haven’t heard him speak for a long time. He hasn’t been a part of our political interaction for years. We’ve moved beyond missing him.

We will cry on the day of his death because it would bring back memories of an exceptional life; of the wonder of his leadership and great spirit that helped us find freedom and a democratic settlement. We will think back on the golden era of his presidency and most of us will quietly ponder how we failed to make the glimpses we saw then of a moral, cohesive and successful nation a reality.

But it will not be a dark day, nor will it be a traumatic day. And the remark made by a columnist that “the day Mandela dies is the end of freedom” is just nonsense.

I am deeply annoyed by the (white) columnists and commentators who still peddle the story that whites fear the day of Mandela’s death because it will bring about a mass slaughter of whites and land grabs such as happened in Zimbabwe. These writers should really get out more.

I know that the lunatic fringe on the extreme right told the story years ago that Mandela’s death would signal the “Night of the Long Knives” and a slide into anarchy. But I seriously doubt if more than a few dozen or a few hundred crazies still believe that myth.

I think I have a very good understanding of white attitudes – after all, some of my best friends are white South Africans.

I’m often disappointed in the poor understanding of our political dynamics demonstrated by so many whites and angry at the reactionary tendencies we often experience.

But I have a strong view that the overwhelming majority of white South Africans, while sceptical of some of the goings-on in the ruling party, have made peace with the new order and don’t seriously think a Zimbabwe-type situation here is at all likely.

Their pre-1994 fears of “black majority rule” have been put to rest as their quality of life has improved and they have been reassured that ours is probably the most stable country in the developing world.

Despite the occasional populist rants and raves from different sides, race relations, especially on a personal level, have never been better. Very few white lunatics still believe that the death of a long-retired politician could lead to a new civil war or complete anarchy.

I have a feeling that Mandela’s eventual death would bring about a rare moment of national unity between all groups and classes.

There are very few South Africans who did not love and admire Nelson Mandela. Mourning together will probably bring us the kind of feeling we had with the 1995 Rugby World Cup and the 2010 soccer World Cup. It will serve as a reminder to all of us what we could have been and should have been by now.

The culture of the last few years in and outside ANC circles to ask “what would Mandela have thought of this?” will probably, hopefully, continue. He represented the best in all of us as a people. The present ANC leadership’s war of attrition against our constitution and the judiciary started while Mandela was still alive.

We will have to counter that assault on the cornerstone of our democracy and remind the ANC that our constitution represents the legacy of our great national heroes Mandela, Oliver Tambo and Walter Sisulu.

When the essence of our constitution is undermined, our stability, cohesion and freedom will be undermined.

I wish Mandela a gentle, comfortable life for as long as his body is willing. I hope he knows that his leaving us will be his last act of bringing his nation together once again.

Brilliant simplicity and sense.

Thanks Jacques

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