Not drunk

Tiger Woods’ car crash news is breaking all over Twitter.

Woods, 33, pulled out of his driveway in the Isleworth community about 2:25 a.m. when he struck a fire hydrant, and then drove into a tree at his neighbor’s property, FHP reported.

Woods was apparently taken to a nearby hospital “in a seriously rat-arsed condition”.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always striking fire hydrants and then driving into my neighbour’s arboreal vegetation in the early hours of the morning. I like to test to see how quickly the local council can get out to stem the big fountain of water that spews from the broken faucet. If they arrive before it gets light, I feel that my exorbitant rates bill is doing at least some good. 
Next door’s tree just annoys me by dropping leaves in my pool so I try and knock it down while I’m out damaging the car: it saves time and effort just billing the insurance once.

I’m not drunk when I do that though. Honest.

One thought on “Not drunk

  1. Or, perhaps he was fleeing for his safety – according to The Times:

    Officers found Woods lying in the street with his wife hovering over him. Saylor said Nordegren had used a golf club to smash the car’s rear window to get to her husband.

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