DIY Big Screen Telly

I am constantly poking Mrs 6000 in the direction of a big screen telly, but she remains disinterested. That’s because Mrs 6000 doesn’t actually watch a lot of television. She only watches on Friday evenings because there’s some god-awful American programme with a plethora of bimbos throwing themselves at a bloke from Watford.

But I digress. The reason that is what is watched in our household on Friday evenings because there is no footy on. Which brings me to the second reason that Mrs 6k is against the big screen telly idea – that I would end up watching more sport.
This is an utterly ridiculous suggestion. I couldn’t possibly watch more sport than I do now. Unless they start regularly screening football matches on Friday evenings, of course. But if the payoff for a smart new TV was a continuation of Friday nights being crap American telly, even when Brentford v Swansea is on 203, then that’s fine by me.

And then there’s the money. Red wine is an expensive business and when you’ve got to bring up two kids on top of that – well, you can see that there’s not going to be much to spare. And then you have to buy them food as well. And pay for electricity, which is going up again next week/month/year/all of the above. It never ends.
(Incidentally, a big screen telly is pretty power hungry, but I’d be willing to limit the amount of time it was on by switching it off on Friday evenings.)

Of course, there’s actually nothing wrong with the telly we have at the moment. It’s just not very big. And no matter what they say, size is important.

Step forward Brian Micklethwait:

If I want a big screen telly, I move my small screen telly nearer.

Which sounds fine in principle, but it would be a little hypocritical of me to do that, since the kids aren’t allowed close to the TV screen and are constantly being chastised for it, drawn in by the gravitational spell of CBeebies (and not just Sarah-Jane Honeywell, like their dad).

So that leaves only one option, then. Shrink the furniture.

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29 Comments

  1. Posted October 14, 2009 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

    Or you could invest in the solution that was once seriously marketed as a large-screen TV: a large magnifying glass to fix a short distance in front of the real (small) screen.

    For some reason it never really took off.
    .-= Ro´s last blog ..Ro Is Miffed =-.

  2. Posted October 14, 2009 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    You want plasma – it would go with your job description. :D

    We have a plasma-sucks-’leccy-juice-like-nobody’s-business-telly and it’s lush. Son especially loves it when he gets a chance to play his X-Box on it… and what American rubbish are you talking about? Not Desperate Housewives?? I don’t watch that rubbish either – and I’m apparently the target market! :P
    .-= Helga Hansen´s last blog ..Brain Drain =-.

  3. Posted October 14, 2009 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

    Ro > It’s a lovely idea, but no.

    HH > The Bachelor, of course. Last February’s version. (Which has just made it over here.)

  4. Posted October 14, 2009 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    Everyone needs a big-screen TV. And remember, there’s usually at least one footie match on the HD channel over weekends, so you may need a HD-PVR too – especially with the World Cup looming (239 days, 8hrs, 23 minutes).
    .-= Jacques´s last blog ..Faith kills another child =-.

  5. Posted October 14, 2009 at 7:20 pm | Permalink

    I wouldn’t mind a big screen. Well, bigger screen. But no…apparently surround sound and millions of speakers were more important.

    There should be a charity for people like us.

  6. Posted October 14, 2009 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    I have quite a nice sized telly in both my bedroom and living room! Cos I bought a 31″ tv from my mate, and put my 30″ one in my bedroom! Not bad for a 1 bedroom house haha! The only thing on mine if it aint the xbox is NCIS at the moment (but you know that already)

  7. Posted October 14, 2009 at 11:50 pm | Permalink

    Haha. But then you will be watching a tiny tv screen and sitting on really uncomfortable furniture at the same time.
    .-= Po´s last blog ..Wot’s a shoo? =-.

  8. Posted October 15, 2009 at 2:06 am | Permalink

    The first major purchase we made (after buying the house of course) when we moved to Australia was the 42″ LCD. It makes watching rugby/AFL/sport-in-general an absolute joy! Not to mention the fun the ‘kids’ have playing Wii or PS2!

    Get one! Even if you have to remortgage! And don’t allow kids with pens/crayons/pencils near it!
    .-= Delboy´s last blog ..Dwarf racing =-.

  9. Posted October 15, 2009 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    Sarah-Jane Honeywell?? Standards are slipping at chez 6000.

  10. Posted October 15, 2009 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    Jacques > I will have all I need by 11th June. Probably. Of course – I’ll actually be at most the games anyway.

    Goblin > We too have lots of speakers. The kids break them.

    Wiggy > There’s some joke about having a lot of inches in the bedroom in there somewhere, but I can’t quite make it work. (Which also sounds a bit rude).

    Po > Good point. Well made. Damn.

    Delboy > Wow. I’m not sure I can afford special features like making watching rugby “a joy”. Whatever next? Making cricket look “exciting”?

  11. Posted October 15, 2009 at 10:35 am | Permalink

    You’ll be most of the games anyway? Will that be like going to a concert, and then watching the action on the big screens ‘cos you can’t actually see the players? :D
    .-= Helga Hansen´s last blog ..Brain Drain =-.

  12. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    DW > You have no idea how low they were to begin with.

    HH > No – that’s at Durban, which has a running track between the stands and the pitch. You’re gonna need binoculars.

  13. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    With kids TV not really being my forte so to speak, I will have to do a google search later. I hate them foreign stadia who think it’s great to have a running track between the pitch and the fans.

  14. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    Not me – you… I’ll be watching the games on my 42″ plasma telly… :D
    .-= Helga Hansen´s last blog ..Brain Drain =-.

  15. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Wiggy > Click her name in the post. She’s a acrobat/gymnast. Flexible.

    HH > As I remember in a Jasper Carrott song (when he couldn’t get to watch the FA Cup final in person)

    So all me mates and family, to Wembley they did roam,
    I hadn’t got a ticket so I had to stay at home.
    I loaded up with telly snacks and several crates of beer.
    I chucked a toilet roll at next door’s cat for atmosphere.

    No Norway next year, I see. :-(

  16. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:53 am | Permalink

    Hmmm very nice (if not a little young looking for me) From an English point of view no Portugal OR France YET! Is it me or have they changed the European play-off’s to try and suit the bigger teams. Conspiracy?
    .-= Wiggy´s last blog ..Never a dull moment =-.

  17. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:54 am | Permalink

    6000>A flexible tatted butterface! Oh dear.. Missing Greggs that much?

    This should help the homesickness. :)

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2681212/Broken-Britain-The-fractured-family-too-poor-to-go-their-seperate-ways.html

  18. Posted October 15, 2009 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    Wiggy > Dude, you’re almost 30. It’s time to stop being so picky. ;-)
    And yes, they have definitely rigged it in favour of the bigger teams.
    Bigger team = more fans = more money. Simple as.

    DW > Well, if you insist on looking a fleapits like Smoggy and Bris-taaaaal, then what do you expect?

  19. Posted October 15, 2009 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    6000> I’m really looking forward to the 12 page special pull-out on Dee-dar tomorrow! ;)

  20. Posted October 15, 2009 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    DW > Only because they couldn’t afford the paper to do a special on Luton.

  21. Posted October 15, 2009 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    No Sun readers in Luton.. Local mullah’s won’t allow the page 3 tiddies.. :(

  22. Posted October 15, 2009 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

    No, no Norway :(

    Got me Danish flag (I’ve got 50% Danish blood, thanks to my mum), and then it’s Ingerland, I guess…

    And who do you think you are, calling my adopted home city a “fleapit”??? :D
    .-= Helga Hansen´s last blog ..Brain Drain =-.

  23. Posted October 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    DW > Hence you moved to SA!

    HH > My soft spot for Norway and all things Norwegian is not to be sated. :-(
    And as for Bris-taaaaal, you’ve got Stapleton Road and Kerry McCarthy. ’nuff said.

  24. Val from CapeTown
    Posted October 15, 2009 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    Brilliant post!! And I watch the guy from Watford too!!! Yay – no soccer fans in this household either! :)

  25. Posted October 15, 2009 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    6000>So long ago the page 3 girls in Scope magazine had no nipples.. :)

  26. Posted October 15, 2009 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    Val > I’m not a big fan of the bloke from Watford, but I did appreciate the short rugby session I saw the other night. Yummy.

    DW > I’m told that was a genetic thing?

  27. Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:13 am | Permalink

    Them girlies in Scope – they did have nipples… I remember them as being black star-shaped ones. Even Linda Lusardi and Sam Fox had them… must have had them surgically altered when they did The Sun though. :D
    .-= Helga Hansen´s last blog ..Brain Drain =-.

  28. Posted October 16, 2009 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

    Yay!!

    The Sheffield expose I was looking forward to in today’s “Hate Mail” exceeded even my depraved expectations :)

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1220579/Carnage-Shame-drunken-student-caught-urinating-war-memorial-mass-pub-crawl.html

    String ‘em up!! ;)

  29. Posted October 16, 2009 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    HH > Wow. Sam Fox. Linda Lusardi. Memories. Of mammaries.

    DW > Cool. Totty. Beer. Controversy. Angry old people.
    Ticks all the boxes.

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