De Lille to host inter-faith prayer for rain on Table Mountain

That’s the headline from iol this morning, and the article underneath it goes on to say that:

The City of Cape Town’s Executive Mayor Patricia de Lille will host an inter-faith gathering of various religious leaders to pray for rain on Thursday at 2pm.

Who’ll be there? Well, various religious leaders including:

representatives from various churches, the Muslim Judicial Council, the Western Cape Christian Ministers’ Association, the Western Cape Traditional Leaders and Cultural Council, the Khoisan Griqua Royal House, the Bahaí Community of South Africa, the Tushita Kadampa Buddhist Centre, and the Hindu and Jewish communities.

Inter-faith indeed. All the major food groups listed there. No atheists, which is a bit awkward in our supposedly secular society, but I guess it might have been awkwarder still (I know) were we represented…

De Lille says:

“The residents and businesses of Cape Town have made great efforts to save water but we have to do more and we especially need the rains to come.”

Right. A few issues here. And I’m not going to spend too long on going through these. I’m too irritated to elaborate on stuff. It’ll involve swearing. Even this condensed version may involve swearing. Seriously, I’m literally just about to write it, and it really feels like it will involve some swearing right now.

1. Prayers don’t work. Evidence for this includes the repeated praying for no more terrorist attacks in Europe.

2. Also that whole Angus Buchan thing on Freedom Day.

3. And the annual SA Police Service prayer day for no more crime.

4. If prayers do actually work, then why didn’t you pray for rain earlier?

5. Oh wait. You did. And it didn’t work.

6. Look, I do realise that just because you’re spending your time doing this, it’s not that more practical solutions aren’t being organised: dams being dredged, other water sources being investigated and the like. But…

7. My rates – including my (understandably) inflated water tariff – are paying for you to attend this crap. And that’s annoying, because no matter what you were doing instead of sitting on the bloody mountain with your friends chatting to their various sky fairies this afternoon, it would offer me and the rest of the city’s ratepayers a far better return for our hard earned money.

8. If, when it rains tomorrow, as it is forecast to do (and as it has been forecast to do all week), and you or your god-bothering mates then claim that your Table Mountain meeting has yielded positive, tangible results, I may just go flipping postal. In a very reserved, British way, obviously.

Very restrained on the language there, well done me.

Look, I know you’re not going to read this, Patricia.
I know you’re not going to read it because you never read my towing an iceberg from Antarctica and dumping it in Franschhoek solution to the current water crisis; a solution which I have implored you to respond to on several occasions; a solution which I made up merely for comedic value, and which – although mathematically sound – is laughably far-fetched, but which would still be a better way of addressing the drought than you wasting everyone’s time and money on shouting at the clouds this afternoon.

What a disgrace.

  • anib79

    If they did invite the atheists, I’m sure they’d just let out a big sigh during their allocated time which, as you know, also helps the rain. *breathes*

    Also why does no one think of the agnostics? I just dont know…

  • anib79 > It’s the exhaled water vapour that does it.
    Also, that’s a very good description of agnostics…

  • DoomsdayDave

    Don’t forget to invite the local sangomas. Prayers and bone throwing might just do the trick.

  • DoomsdayDave > I’m sure that everyone will be included. But the problem with inter-faith prayer sessions is surely: what if there’s some disagreement up there?

    What if the Jewish god wants it to rain, but the Khoisan god doesn’t, for example? How does that get sorted out?

    It’s all end in tears. Not rain. Tears.

  • DoomsdayDave

    Well, I doubt that in this instance there’ll be any disagreements as to why they are gathered up there. Perhaps it might just rain if they all show some faith in their prayers and bring along their brollies.

  • DoomsdayDave > I was talking about disagreement “up there” – as in the gods.

  • Ami Kapilevich

    Amen to that.

  • Arthur Streeb-Greebling Snr
  • Emil Jung

    Damn, I had high hopes for the Buchan thing. Did they ever reach a million. That should have moved mountains and planets, not to mention Zuma. The gods are toying with us!!