Sound Cafe Request

You’ll need to know a few things for this blog post:

1. There’s a place on the Isle of Man called The Sound. There’s a cafe there.
2. On the cafe building is a webcam, which one can view through the Manx Radio Webcams page (it’s the one on the bottom left, between Port Erin and Port St Mary).
3. It was very hot in Cape Town yesterday, and very cold in the Isle of Man. I wanted to apply this principle. But the webcam lens was very dirty (sea spray, rain, sleet etc).


Or was it? Because I dropped the cafe a quick message on Facebook:

Fastyr mie from Cape Town, South Africa. It’s 40-odd degrees here and I’m craving something cooler. I recognise that it’s pretty chilly there today and I’m not sure how accessible it is, but if you could give the webcam lens a quick wipe, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

(Fastyr mie being Manx gaelic for Good Afternoon – I can like to be locally polite in my salutations.)

And almost instantaneously, got this back:

We’ll have a go…. it’s not exactly accessible but we’ll give it a whirl ?

That, I think I am right in saying, is the spirit.

And they did it too, before responding again:

Marginally better… ?

But it was actually much better:

Allowing me not only to see the drama of the waves crashing onto Kitterland, but even the (rather less dramatic) Stena Precision en route to Belfast from Birkenhead (on the horizon, far left).

And yes, there’s still a bit of muck in the corners, but the weather is clearly a bit wild there at the moment and like they said, the webcam is “not exactly accessible”.

All in all, a great effort and really amazing service.

Irn-Bru ad

This is great. An Christmas Irn-Bru ad featuring Scotland, a soprano, a snowman and a selfish kid.

The deadpan third verse is hilarious.
More like this please.

P.S. Struggling to understand? Or want to try some karaoke?

We’re walking in the air. I’m sipping on an Irn Bru. My chilly snowman mate says he would like some too.
I tell him get your own. He looks like he is going to cry. I tell him once again the Irn-Bru is mine.
Now I’m falling through the air. I wonder where I’m going to land. He nicked my Irn-Bru and let go of my hand.


2017’s 100 “Top Tweets”

There’s still over a month of 2017 to go, but Buzzfeed has already gone for something of a Top 100 with their:

100 Tweets That Made British People Piss Themselves In 2017

list, boldly proclaiming that:

These tweets were the only good things to happen this year

I am not a fan of these sort of listicles, but I was irritated to find myself actually enjoying some (or more) of these. And in the vast majority of cases, you don’t have to be a British People to find them funny.

Stuff like (best done in Stephen Fry voice):


Plenty of fun for all the family. Go and have a look.
(And note that you’ve still got the whole of December to get yourself a place on the list!)

Xmas 2017 John Lewis ad out

This year, it’s all about Moz the Monster. Hashtag: #MozTheMonster

Summary: little boy meets monster, fails academically due to immediate infatuation leading to poor time management and self care, turns life around after a mysterious Xmas gift intervention changes his circumstances.
A demonstration of utterly terrible parenting throughout, and quite clearly an analogy for the scourge of illicit drug use in adolescence.

But all’s well that ends well, hey?

The music is Golden Slumbers (yes, a Beatles cover), is by Elbow and is the best bit about this otherwise disappointing two minutes which allegedly cost £7,000,000 and 7 months to make.

Previous John Lewis Xmas ads destroyed on 6000 miles… may include:

2016 Buster The Boxer
2015 Man On The Moon
2014 Monty The Penguin

Pathetic fish and chips

BIG NEWS from Liverpool: the most pathetic serving of fish and chips ever has been served there. And it’s made it as far as (one of) the overly desperate national newspapers.

Furious diner Tina Doherty was stunned when her order arrived and was made up of just SIX chips.

No wonder she was furious. That’s a pathetic number of chips.

Tina had gone out for dinner with her husband, Kevin, and two friends to the Jolly Miller in Liverpool after a night out bowling.

The pals had ordered ordered their main meals – two hunter’s chickens and two portions of fish and chips – which they chose off the two for £10 menu.

It sounds like the evening had got off to a great start. Nothing to see here, folks.
And Tina and Kevin and their friends were looking forward to rounding it off with some decent food at the pub on the way home when disaster struck.

However when the server handed Tina, 53, her meal she couldn’t quite believe she had been given just SIX CHIPS with her fish and peas.

No wonder she was furious. That’s a pathetic number of chips.

(I may have mentioned this before.)

Care worker Tina, from Aintree, sent a picture of the pitiful portion to her husband who told her she should complain.

Well, he would. He’s from Liverpool.
But wait. What?
Why didn’t he just look at what was on a table in front of him?

Husband Kevin, 60, said: “She sent the picture on Whatsapp and I must admit I laughed. I was at home with our son and daughter and we were just sitting down to our man-sized portions of curried prawns, rice and real homemade chips.”

Oh. Were you now, Kevin? And where else were your son and daughter? Were they also at the Jolly Miller with their mum? Or perhaps they were in another local establishment which also serves miniscule portions?
How were you in two places at once, Kevin? Are you a twin? Mind you, this story suggests that if you are, then you are called Kevin and Kevin and that’s going to get confusing from a very early age. And are you both her husband? I’m not sure that’s 100% legal. Even on Merseyside. And we all know what they’re like there.

Kevin (the one at home) (or actually maybe the other one) (I really have no idea which one is talking anymore) continues:

I don’t know how anyone could justify or explain that as a portion of chips.

Justify or explain? Rice and real homemade chips? Kevin at the pub and Kevin at home?
There’s something very duplicitous and tautological about you and your mysterious ways, Kevins. And he (they) goes (go) on:

It looks like a toddler’s meal and even they would be able to polish off more than five chips.

Well that’s ok, isn’t it, lads? Because there were six chips. I’m happy to admit that it’s a pathetic number of chips. I already have, twice (once for each of you). But it’s still more than five chips.
Any other chip-based comparisons you’d like to make?

You wouldn’t even have enough to put on a butty with that portion.

No, Kevins. You wouldn’t. Are we done now, because I have other stuff I need to get d…

Kevin, who works for Jaguar Land Rover, also joked that maybe the Jolly Miller was “aware of the pending interest rate rise” the day after the meal was served on Wednesday – so cut its portions down.

Actually, just shut up now, Kevins, you pointless, double starch-consuming, potato-portion calculating, conspiracy-theorising, crap joke-making waste of a Scouse doppelganger.
I’ve had enough of you, you, your wife and this stupid story now.

More tomorrow. Not including pathetic chips or anyone called Kevin. Or Kevin.