On voting

When the UK PM called a general election recently, I spotted this line on Facebook:

Please god let the “great” British public stay in bed and let the rest of us make a sensible decision.

…which, you know, is a bit demeaning to a lot of people who might not happen to share the same point of view as you do.

The individual in question voted Labour in the last election (they lost) and voted to remain in the EU in the recent referendum (that side also lost). Since then, that person’s timeline has been a cascade of anti-Conservative (they won) and anti-Brexit (also a winner) stories and articles.

And that’s fine. Each to their own.

Really, my only problem comes when “Remainers” protest about the steps that the Government have taken towards the UK leaving the EU. Yes, the referendum was a close run thing, and there are probably lessons that we could learn from that when running future referendums, but it still finished 52-48. That means that a majority of people voted to leave the EU, and thus, the Government should be taking steps to do so. That’s what referendums are for. That’s how they work.

Look, I’m sorry for you that there weren’t enough people sharing your point of view to swing the vote in the way that you wanted. Democracy can be a real bummer when more people vote the other way.

But then imagine, if you will, that the Remain vote had won 52-48 (or whatever). If more people had voted to keep the UK in the EU. Imagine then that the UK Government had ignored that majority and gone ahead with Brexit anyway.

Pandemonium! And rightly so!

Having asked the question and got the answer, how could the powers that be drive their fat political steam roller over the wishes of the British people?

And yet that’s exactly what you’re demanding must happen, simply because the result didn’t go your way. Simply because “the ‘great’ British public” chose to wake up that day and spoke their mind.

No. It’s entirely reasonable that the Government do what the majority of the public demand. Whether you like the decision or the Government or not.

But I find this idea that your side holds some sort of intellectual or moral high ground over the other simply because the viewpoints don’t agree is rather pompous and actually counterproductive. Some people argue that it’s one factor as to why Trump won the US election.

But to be honest, for me, it’s less about the collective effect of these sorts of protest (which has been negligible anyway) and more about me finding out a bit more about people I know on Facebook. And that’s no bad thing either.

Ugh… Cyclists

Ugh… Cyclists.

When they’re not jumping red lights, riding seventy-four abreast through Kalk Bay every weekend or whining about their morning jaunt being cancelled, they’re defecating in their hands and flinging it at fellow road-users.

Poo flinging? How very Capetonian.

But amazingly, the victim of the attack has come in for criticism after sharing the details of the incident online. Comments included:

“A man had time to pull down his trousers, poo in his hands and lob it at your car..?? Was you stationary..?? Because I’d of drove off the minute he was pulling down his trousers.!!”

Yeah – sorry about the grammar etc. It’s from Gloucester.

And my favourite:

“Anyone with half a brain cell would drive off as soon as the hand cupped to scoop the poop.”

Presumably these people are only aware of best practice here because this has happened to them too?
So there we go, folks. The two expert-recommended stages to commence driving away should you ever find yourself in a similar situation: the pulling down of the trousers and the cupping of the hand to scoop.

Leave it any later than that, and frankly, you’re asking for trouble.

Full story

Stop the world…

… I want to get off.

Yep. Whatever. Call me when you can pirouette your way to safety around an Ebola outbreak or conjure up some much needed water in the Sudanese desert using just your cha-cha skills.

And who would ever want to explore Mars when there was an opportunity to wow the audience with some exciting team ballroom work?

I actually have nothing against dancers, but “future-proofing our children” by teaching the Merengue instead of Microbiology?

No. Just no.

Mending apostrophe’s

Theres an anonymous Grammar Vigilante in Bristol, UK. A gentleman who is going around under cover of darkness, mending apostrophes. And by mending, I mean wiping out the one’s that shouldnt be there and adding the one’s that should. Theres a radio show about him going out later today.

The Grammar Vigilante carrie’s an Apostrophiser (spoiler: its just a big stick) around with him to expunge the errant punctuation and to add in anything missing. To be honest, he actually sounds a bit creepy in real life (theres a quick interview with him on that link), but I think this is a great idea.

I might start a similar campaign here.

Defeatwood Town

Bad news for those of you not into football, because I am into football and today, despite the fact that my team didn’t actually play, has been a good day.

Let’s mentally wander up to Uwe Rösler’s Highbury Stadium (no, not that one, this one) and enjoy Nicky Ajose’s late goal for relegation threatened Swindon Town.

That goal means that Fleetwood Town lost today, and remain in third place in League One on 69 points.

With only the top two guaranteed to go up, I’ve been doing some rudimentary calculations and I reckon that even if they were to win all of their remaining 6 games, Fleetwood can ‘only’ get 87 points.

That means that if Sheffield United can win just two more games (taking them to 88 points) they are assured of promotion.

FINALLY!!!!!!!

However, further rudimentary calculations suggest that if Sheffield United win on Wednesday at home to Coventry, and Fleetwood lose on the same evening at Oxford – it’s a done deal.

I am going to be a quivering wreck of emotions and mounting anticipation this week.

Be gentle.