Sheffield Telegraph doesn’t want to bother you with this article

My old local rag, the Sheffield Telegraph, has opted to save you some time reading through its sports pages this morning.

This article (may have been removed or updated since this post was written), which features a photo of Rotherham United’s Alex Revell in action during a Capital One cup-tie at Villa Park, is very clearly labeled upfront with your expected response:

stele

I’m guessing that the writer may be a Rotherham United fan (they lost 3-0) or a 2 year old.
Or quite possibly both.

Either way, I hope you’ve taken his advice and already moved on.

Belgians are MASSIVE!

Well, either that or Mathieu Valbuena is really teeny tiny. Or both.

teeny

But actually, Mathieu Valbuena is 1.67m tall, not just under a metre. And although the photo – taken during Wednesday evening’s bore draw –  is unadulterated, he is obviously leaning back and that’s why he looks so short.

Sadly for Mathieu, despite him being a very talented footballer, from now on each google search for his name will bring up this image at the top. And me posting it is only going to exacerbate that phenomenon.

Oh well.

Surf…

Cape Town has gone a bit iffy today, grey, cool, drizzly: the precursor for the big storm coming through this evening and tomorrow.

But Cape Town hasn’t always been this way. This weekend, for example, Cape Town was lovely. Warm, sunny, pleasant. And, according to many of my surfing friends and contacts, “Dungeons was firing!”. I had to go and look this up, because the obtuse reference to a castle prison and some odd hat tip to The Apprentice didn’t make much sense at first.

But they meant the Dungeons surfing spot just around the corner from Hout Bay. And they meant that there were some good waves to surf there. The Guardian had also done some translating and gave us a couple of lovely images to visually indicate what was going on.
Here are they:

Big wave surfing in Cape Town, South Africa

Big wave surfing in Cape Town, South Africa

Gorgeous, ne? Just look at that wall of water. Wow.

You wouldn’t find me playing in waves that big, but that’s not to say that you can’t pop out and have a bit of fun if you want to. Just make sure you have some decent medical insurance and a reasonable funeral plan in place first though, ok?

Photo credit: Nic Bothma via The Guardian

Still winter

As the kids’ winter holiday drew to a close, we made the most of the winter weather with a quick braai:

image

This evening, I settled down to a bit of pre-season footy: the totally bizarre mismatch of AFC Bournemouth hosting a full strength Real Madrid side.
It’s currently half time and 0-3, but it could have easily been 0-27 (which it probably will be by full time).

Over the Broad walk

…or none walk, as it were.

I’m catching up on a few blogs I should have read earlier. One of those is from Brian Micklethwait and it’s about Stuart Broad’s decision not to “walk”, ie. declare himself out when the umpires didn’t give him out in the first Ashes test.

That incident sparked howls of derision locally, cries of “cheat”, comparisons with Mr Suarez and somewhat desperate hopes for some sort of lengthy ban for Mr Broad. Despite being an England fan, I agreed with Brian:

England’s subsequent progress somehow didn’t really count.  That’s how it felt, to me.

But then I got over it. It might not be nice, but everyone’s at it, not just Stuart Broad, so let’s drop the exceptionalism, shall we?
When Adam Gilchrist walked again Sri Lanka in 2003,  Australian captain Ricky Ponting was actually rather annoyed:

Gilchrist staggered Ponting and the rest of the Australian side by walking off as umpire Rudi Koertzen was saying “not out” during the 48-run semi-final win over Sri Lanka at St George’s Park today.
Ponting’s deputy saw Koertzen’s rejection of the Sri Lankan appeal for a caught behind but he headed for the pavilion anyway despite the enormity of the occasion and the importance of his innings to the Australian cause.

“I won’t be encouraging any of our batsmen to do it,” said Ponting. “It’s up to them. I won’t tell any of our batsmen what to do – whether to walk or not. It’s how they see it on the day.”

So “cheating” is fine, depending on the day, then? Evidently, Broad chose a “not ok” day though.

Nowadays of course, there’s technology to help the hapless umpires out, but Australia had already used up their quota of referrals earlier in the day, having unsuccessfully tried to get England players out when they weren’t. However, even with this obvious handicap to the “cheating” batsman, Ponting continued to pick and choose his days:

During the Australian innings, captain Ricky Ponting clearly edged a delivery from Mohammad Hafeez into the gloves of wicket-keeper Kamran Akmal. Both men appealed enthusiastically, almost certain they had their man. Ponting held his ground.
Umpire Marais Erasmus deemed the Australian skipper hadn’t hit the ball and gave him not out. Inevitably, the Pakistan team requested a review of the decision and video replays confirmed the number three batsman did in fact make contact with the ball.
Ponting surely can’t claim he was uncertain as to whether he hit the ball, as the replay showed he got a lot more than a faint edge. In cricketing terms, he ‘hit the cover off it’.

But anyway, the umpires are there to decide if it’s in or out, not the players. Brian again:

…expecting batsmen to walk when they know (but the umpire doesn’t know) that they are out introduces an unfair imbalance.

After all, if you are given out, but you know that you are not out because you missed it by half a yard, but if your team has run out of referrals (as Australia had yesterday) or if no referrals are allowed in the first place, you aren’t allowed to say: “Ah well, you see, I know that I’m not actually out, so, actually, I’m going to have to over-rule the umpire on this particular occasion.  I’m going to stick around.  Sorry and all that.  Carry on everyone.”

This is not allowed, unless you are W. G. Grace.

On the other hand it would, I think, make perfect sense, if a batsman walks (Gilchrist style) having been given not out by the umpire, if the umpire were then to say: “Heh!  Where d’you think you’re going?  Get back here!  I said: Not Out.  How dare you over-rule my decision.  Outrageous dissent.  Totally against the Spirit of Cricket.”

Yet it would seem that The Spirit of Cricket, as expounded by all those who were saying yesterday that Broad had gone totally against it, says that the umpires are not after all the sole judges of fact.  Odd.

Indeed, some dichotomy there.

Perhaps Geoffrey Boycott summed it up best:

When you’re given out wrongly, you have to go.  So if the umpire makes a mistake in your favour, you should be allowed to stick around.  It’s up to the umpire not to get it wrong.

The umpires are only human, and though they have the help of technology, that option wasn’t available this time around, because the Aussies – being only human – had used up their referrals by making mistakes as well.And even then, as we saw with Jonathan Trott’s unjustified first innings dismissal, even that technology is only as good as it’s human operators. And who’s to say that Trott wouldn’t have added a lot of runs if he hadn’t erroneously been given out?

Either way, as we’ve seen before here and here, what goes around comes around. I just hope it comes around sometime after England have got the series all wrapped up.