This whole “is the case against Jacob Zuma about to be dropped?” thing. Man, it’s getting complicated.
Why doesn’t someone take things back to basics and explain it in straightforward terms?
OK – here you go, then:
Jacob Zuma, out future President (in 3½ weeks) and who can’t be trusted is set to face charges of corruption, money laundering, racketeering and fraud. He is alleging that these charges, which were investigated by Leonard McCarthy of the Scorpions (who can’t be trusted), were instated by Thanda Mngwengwe of the National Prosecuting Authority (who can’t be trusted) and were being pressed by Bululani Ngcuka of the NPA (who can’t be trusted), are politically motivated by Thabo Mbeki (who actually can’t be trusted, either) .
In a new twist revealed this week, it appears that the South African Police Service (who can’t be trusted), and their Gauteng deputy provincial commissioner Richard Mdluli (who can’t be trusted) bugged the phones of the Mbeki camp and of the Scorpions (neither of whom, remember, can be trusted) and recorded some “potentially embarrassing information”, which the Zuma legal team (who can’t be trusted) are now threatening to release if the charges are not dropped.
Suspended national police commissioner Jackie Selebi (who really can’t be trusted) has denied knowledge of the clandestine recording activities of the Scorpions (who can’t be trusted) and other key players (who can’t be trusted) in the Zuma (who can’t be trusted) corruption saga.
All my information comes from The Times… Umm. No comment.
Lunch was chez Tall Accountant in leafy Fernwood with some lovely people and consisted of one of the biggest chicken salads ever created.
Seriously, it took three people just to carry the bowl. And there were only six of us there. Chicken salad sandwiches for the TA’s lunchtime fare this week, I feel.
Now I know what it’s like to be Jacob Zuma. Sort of, anyway. Pressing the flesh of prospective voters in hope of getting an X in your box.
Of course, there are some differences. I have more hair. He has more chance of winning his election.
Everyone has heard of the ANC, but unbelievably, I met some people today who hadn’t heard of 6000 miles… Yes, I was shocked too.
He didn’t have a MASSIVE chicken salad for lunch today*. I did. Maybe there’s other stuff too, who knows?
Click it – it’s magic!
What Jacob Zuma wishes he did have, apart from my good looks, charm and popularity among white people is a golden widget, like the one above. I have it on good authority that he is desperate for one and has even instructed mini-me, aka Julius Malema, to kill to get one. Well, Msholozi, you’re not having mine, even if you turn up with your mashini wam blazing.
Of course, no-one is 100% sure if JZ is guilty of corruption. I’m beginning to wonder if even he can actually remember. However, I know for a fact that I am pure as the driven snow when it comes to matters of giving and receiving illicit payments. So far, anyway. But as the desperation mounts and rumours begin to spread about who is in front and how far I am behind, that could all change. Probably around Wednesday.
Want to help out? Copy and Paste http://tr.im/vote6k into all the emails you send for the rest of this month.
Because – as Jacob would say – working together, we can do more.
* This is complete guesswork.
Well, many thanks to both of you loyal readers who nominated me in the 2009 SA Blog Awards. Because of the time and effort you put in (4 clicks and an anti-spam code, I think it was) together with the large lump of cash that I sent through to Glenn Agliotti (no – he’s not a judge, but he has influence, ok?) I find myself a finalist in two categories:
- Best Original Writing On A South African Blog and
- Best Personal Blog
I’d like to think that my “composition, attention to detail, advanced levels of subject investigation” in my “diary type blog of a personal lifestory nature” would mean that if there were an award for the Best Original Writing On A South African Personal Blog, I’d have it sewn up already like Helen Zille has the Best White Woman In Charge Of A South African Opposition Party Beginning With D award in her back pocket. Sadly, there isn’t such a category and thus I’m going to have to slug it out with the Patricia de Lilles and Bantu Holomisas of the South African blogosphere.
Of course, this is no bad thing, because this is democratic South Africa, alive with the possibility of finding someone who’ll take a hefty backhander. (I think Brand SA missed a few bits out of that for their official slogan – perhaps wise, but factually inaccurate.)
You can vote by going to the SA Blog Awards site and submitting your vote at the bottom of the page. Or just wait until I stick a widget on here to help you out [I’m currently awaiting widget delivery from the SABA massive]. [EDIT: Widget below] Or do both, from your myriad of email addresses that you really should have consolidated into one handy gmail account. Tell your friends, too and even invite them to tell their friends – start a viral campaign. Remember to use a condom: according to the pope that makes these things spread even faster.
I’m hoping to have some time tomorrow in which to review the finalists and maybe give you some hints and tips as to who else you might like to vote for in the other categories. One which springs immediately to mind (and must be favourite for the win) is blogrollee Po (aka Spindrifting South African SeaMonkey) in the Best Overseas category. So vote for her. And vote for me. Twice.
Thank you for your attention.
WIDGET: Click through and vote for 6k!
Zumatello hits the election campaign.
¼ of the world’s most awesome fighting team
Straight away, one can see the direct parallels:
Donatello (who wore the purple mask, of course) was the brilliant scientist, inventor, engineer, and technological genius. He was perhaps the least violent Turtle, preferring to use his intellect to solve conflicts.
Zumatello (who is wearing the red mask, above) is the brilliant ANC President, polygamist, alleged fraudster and political genius. He is perhaps the least trusted Turtle, preferring to use his friends as scapegoats to avoid prosecution.
6000 miles… does not condone the defacing of election campaign posters unless it’s really, really amusing and you send photographic evidence to us here chez 6000.
It was with great sadness that I read on the news24.com election site that two of the parties which were to have fought in the upcoming elections on April 22nd had dropped out of the race to finish way behind the ANC.
Not too many tears were shed regarding the loss of the Hlanganani Sakhe Isizwe party – they didn’t pay their R180,000 and were kicked out by the IEC. Not that I have anything against the Hlanganani Sakhe Isizwe party, it’s just that when I’m at a braai discussing the election, I’ve usually had too many beers to accurately say their name.
Far more disappointing was the loss of the SA Determined Volunteers Party from the list of competing parties.
Those guys weren’t being paid for what they did. They were volunteers. And not just any volunteers – they were determined volunteers – and I know for a fact that they had a lot of prospective candidates lined up on their shortlist.
Previous to drawing up that shortlist, they had a longer list, but they rejected many of the names on there because they just weren’t determined enough.
Removing those less determined volunteers had the effect of concentrating the determination of the remaining volunteers until they were the most resolute, decisive, steadfast, unhesitating, purposeful, earnest, firm, unflinching, obstinate, persevering, resolute, resolved, single-minded, unfaltering, decided, strong-willed, stubborn, unwavering, dogged, intent and tenacious bunch of volunteers this side of Pietermaritzburg.
Sadly, such well-meaning determination doesn’t necessarily go hand in hand with any sort of organisation and the SA Determined Volunteers Party forgot to submit their registration for the elections.