Royal Wedding help for lefties

Do you read The Guardian? Do you [heart] absolutely everything that Jeremy Corbyn says?
But secretly, deep down inside, you’re yearning to watch the Royal Wedding today?

Here’s the best way to go about it without getting rumbled, thanks to The Daily Mash:

Say you prefer the Guardian’s famously minimal coverage of royal weddings, then sneakily read every word of the Daily Mail’s obsessive drivel, such as who the fuck Lady Extrusia Mitford-Gynt is.

If you’re dying to watch it on TV, claim you want to see “how these upper-class parasites are wasting taxpayers’ money”. Then get the kettle on and break out the Mr Kiplings.

Alternatively, say your kids should watch it because it’s a historical event. Once they’ve quickly lost interest in some toffs and a bunch of toy soldiers poncing around, ‘forget’ to turn the telly off for the rest of the day.

While watching the wedding it’s possible you’ll get so into the magnificent pageantry you’ll forget to criticise it. Set your mobile alarm to vibrate at 10-minute intervals to remind you to say things like, “Of course, 400 years ago their ancestors would have been oppressing our ancestors.”

If you get carried away and start waving a little Union Jack, make up a convoluted argument about left-wing patriotism, claiming you are celebrating “the land of Orwell, Aneurin Bevan and Rock Against Racism”.

Should anyone notice you gazing adoringly at hunky Harry or foxy Meghan, piously say, “I’m just so sad these young people have to spend their lives in the media goldfish bowl.”

If you get overwhelmed by the occasion and shed a tear, say you are weeping for the Kenyan victims of British imperialism.

For the record, I don’t fall into any category save possibly for “completely uninterested” when it comes to today’s events.

Still, if it’s your thing, I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating with the Royal couple. And if it’s not, use the guide above and don’t ruin it for everyone else.

The Club

I don’t do clubs anymore.
I don’t miss that lifestyle.

Tenuously (at best) linked to those facts, here’s a song which is on the BBC 6 Music playlist (and on my free-to-follow inspired by 6 Spotify playlist) at the moment, from all-female Madrid four-piece band Hinds which is called The Club.

I dunno. I fully recognise that I’m not the target demographic (just like with most nightclubs, ironically), but I quite like this. It’s fun, tuneful and it has that Black Hotels muted electric guitar sound that I don’t know the proper name for.

The video is all a bit millennial instagram though.

 

Can’t have everything.

Nine-Nine canned

Here’s a great way to start your Monday…

There was much displeasure last week over the cancellation of popular cop TV series Brooklyn Nine-Nine (so much so, that it might already have been revived elsewhere).

I first watched it on Emirates flights, and really enjoyed it. Obviously, the more you watch, the more you understand the characters and the more you enjoy it, but if you haven’t seen any of it before, this clip is a great introduction:

This has reawakened my interest, and so now I’m off to find completely legal downloadable content to enjoy.

 

Mums

It’s Mother’s Day here and everywhere else in the world that didn’t already do it in March. I was going to do a nice leisurely breakfast for Mrs 6000, but instead, I’m going to drive to Wellington at some ungodly hour and drop some kids off for a hiking competition. They can walk back. After all, that’s kinda the point, right?

We’ll do lunch instead, ok?

This post is just to say a big thank you to all the Mums out there who do an amazing and – all too often – unrecognised job at being the glue that holds families together, the giver of hugs and love, and the organisation behind everything from school uniforms to playdates to toilet rolls for school projects, and (more often than not) all while holding down a full time job.

Mrs 6000 also has to deal with a beagle. And me.

She’s awesome.

You’re all awesome. Thank you, Mums.

No photos

“Why?” the call went up.
“Why are there no photos from your Sun City trip?”

Well, to put it bluntly, because the vast majority of them were really rather rubbish.

I’ve had a long look through the shots I took, and I’m of the mind that the blame for their disappointing standard can be laid fairly equally between the camera, the photographer and the lack of any decent, meaningful relationship between the camera and the photographer.

Simplifying for x, it’s basically down to me and the camera.

I’m not motivating for new bit of kit here, because I’ve looked at the potential options for new bits of kit and they’re just foolishly expensive.

Would I have got better photos if I had a better camera?
Almost certainly.
Would the camera have got better photos if it had a better photographer?
Yes. Yes, it would.

I did get a nice wildebees though.

Although, looking again now, did I?

[/self doubt]

It does look better on black here. And yes, the idea was to get it to hide away in the bush, because even though it was right there, just 15 metres from us, the camouflage was impressive.

I’m going to have another look through the photos from that weekend, not because I think they’re going to magically get any better, but more to try to work out what went wrong, and how I can prevent the same thing happening again.

One lives, one learns.
Onward, upward.
Citius, Altius, Fortius and all that jazz.