Category: in the news

Maltese Poodle of Sea Point Tannie Is First Victim Of New Scheme

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Just a few hours into the City of Cape Town’s bold new plan to allow “active mobility” on the Sea Point Promenade (see here), a Maltese Poodle has become the first victim of an errant cyclist on the Prom.

Hezekiah – now dead

The canine in question, named Hezekiah or “Hezzie” for short, belonged to long-time Sea Point resident Olive Sonnenberg and was hit by a bike during their normal morning walk at about 6:30 this morning, on the first day that restrictions on bicycles, skateboards and roller blades being used on the popular Promenade were lifted and only hours after hundreds of cyclists again defied local bylaws on the monthly Moonlight Mass bicycle ride.

A tearful Sonnenberg (86) told 6000 miles…

“Hezzie was my only companion since my dear husband Elias died a few years ago. We walked here every morning, come rain or shine. He knew to watch out for bicycles, because we had to cross the road from the apartments to get onto the Promenade and they always ignore the red light on the pedestrian crossing. But the Prom was his territory, it was his place of safety. He was happily chasing a seagull when the mountain bike hit him. There was a horrible yelp and then just silence.”

The cyclist failed to stop after the incident, but two skateboarders did stop, though apparently only to take photographs on their cellphones.

A Police spokesperson said:

“We are searching Facebook for potential witnesses. But we want to appeal to anyone who saw this incident to please come forward.
At the same time, we wish to assure Sea Point residents, joggers and dog walkers using the Prom that we have no evidence yet that any sort of scoring system has been instituted by cyclists and the like regarding “hits” while using active mobility options on the Promenade during October.
We are, however, concerned at reports that the cyclist involved in this incident was allegedly heard to shout something about ‘500 points’ as he left the scene.”

Local residents were unsurprised that there had already been a casualty under the new scheme, describing it as “a disaster waiting to happen”. Residents Association chairperson, Maurice Spitz:

“We are predicting at least one injury a week. It’s just like that pigeon that was killed in the rowing machine when they opened that outdoor gym at Three Anchor Bay.
The death of Olive’s dog so early in this idiotic project just shows what carnage and bloodshed will ensue on our Promenade during October.”

We’ll keep you updated on any further casualties here on 6000 miles…

This will end well… (not)

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Stand by for quite possibly the worst decision to hit Cape Town since they allowed me to live here:

City opens Sea Point Promenade to cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers during Transport Month

Yep. You read it right. The already congested Sea Point Promenade is about to be opened to “users of alternative transport methods, also known as Active Mobility”.

As David Moseley tweeted:

Cyclists on Sea Point promenade. Plus loony runners. Plus dopey dog walkers. Plus elderly strollers. Hello Prom Carnage. Daft, utterly daft.

Of course, our friend Councillor Brett Herron reminded everyone:

Cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers must, in all cases, give right of way to pedestrians, prams and wheelchair users, and travel at a safe and sensible speed.
“We have consulted local representatives for the various types of non-motorised transport, who have offered to launch Twitter and Facebook campaigns to remind their members of the basic rules of etiquette expected from Active Mobility users on the promenade,” said Councillor Herron.

So that’s alright then, because we know that cyclists are law-abiding citizens at the best of times. And yes, I know that someone will comment on here that they are a law abiding cyclist and so are all the cyclists they know. Been there, read that, seen you on the roads.

Has this decision been sponsored by MediClinic or something? I recognise it’s just a trial period and I’m sure that the best will be made of whatever decision is made at the end of the trial, but how many people are going to get hurt on the first sunny evening of October?

But wait, just in case you didn’t think that this was risky enough, this:

This trial period will also cater for the increasing numbers of tour guides taking groups of cycling tourists along key scenic routes in the city.

Groups. Of. Cycling. Tourists.

Groups of cycling tourists on Sea Point Prom.

It’s like the perfect storm of potential injury. Why not blindfold everyone and add some crocodiles as well, just to ensure maximum carnage?
Hell, why not blindfold the crocodiles too.
Hilarity will ensure.
I promise.

Why can every Cape Town resident on social media immediately see that this is a seriously flawed plan, yet the council – presumably having weighed up the pros and cons – think it is a good idea?

While completely appreciating the idea that the Prom is “a treasure to be shared with people from all over Cape Town and beyond”, I can’t see this ending well. At all.

Comments below, please…

Phone news…

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Apparently, some company is in the process of releasing the latest model of a smartphone that they make. I think that this clever advert eludes to that announcement and release, but I can’t be absolutely sure because they don’t explicitly name it.

When all is said and done, it’s just a phone. They’re both just phones. I’m not going to shoot you down for choosing one over the other. Neither will I worship the ground you walk on just because you went the other way.

The advert is clever though and does sum up the blinkered attitudes that some individuals display when this sort of annual announcement comes around, as it does, annually.

I particularly recognise the ‘headphone jack is going to be on the bottom’ character.
Hello [redacted].

Building Bridges

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Cape Town’s unfinished freeways have become something of a cult icon for the city.
Of course, we have other cult icons as well – many of them – but for those individuals who get off on major roads which have not been completed, perhaps unsurprisingly, the unfinished freeways are the cult icon of choice.

They’re famous too. They’ve been in films, music videos and just about every advert in South Africa.
They even held a giant vuvuzela during the World Cup.

Just last year, ever popular Transport MEC Robin Carlisle announced that the unfinished freeways would not be finished on his watch, citing their poor state of repair, the fact that it wouldn’t do anything to relieve traffic congestion and the huge cost involved. It seems likely that Carlisle is a descendant of Franz Schubert, who never finished his 8th Symphony for at least two of the same reasons.

However, now it seems that a young pretender to Carlisle’s throne, Councillor Brett Herron, Mayoral Committee Member for Transport, Roads and Stormwater, has other ideas about the freeways – and presumably therefore, also over the length of Carlisle’s Provincial tenure.

A proposal to partner with the University of Cape Town (UCT) to find creative ways to complete the unfinished highway on the city’s foreshore has been approved by the Portfolio Committee for Transport, Roads and Stormwater. It will soon be submitted to a full Council meeting for approval.
Students at UCT will be asked to review and consider existing proposed conceptual design reports of the incomplete sections of the Foreshore Freeway. They will then draft innovative design proposals for the incomplete sections of the Freeway taking into account its importance and critical function not only in improving access to the City, but also in improving living and working conditions for people in the CBD and surrounds.

Somewhere, towards the back of my battle worn brain, alarm bells are sounding. I think it could be something to do with the fact that despite the fact fully trained engineers and economists have suggested that there is no value in completing the freeways, Councillor Herron seems to think that students – students – may know better. And he’s asked them to be “creative” while they do it.

Oh dear.

Forgive my naivety, but surely the best way of completing the freeways – if that is the course of action you’re going to take – would be to simply join the ends of the bridges together? Sure, I know that “creativity” and “design” are ever so trendy right now, but we have enough road deaths without drunk engineering students playing on Upper Campus computers late one Friday night and us ending up with a big loop the loop outside the CTICC.

But no:

“We trust that the bright young minds of UCT’s Engineering and Built Environment faculty will find the best solution” said Cllr Herron.

Oh, do you?
And have you run that past Uncle Robin yet?

Madness

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With a different Hillsborough whitewash out today and Julius chatting to the disenfranchised members of the SANDF, I’d rather have been far, far away from news and social media sites today. But since I wasn’t, I hid under a thick layer of music. Here is some of it.

Only a couple of weeks til The 2nd Law comes out and I’m really looking forward to it, but first there’s Battle Born to enjoy.
September might not have been a great month for news, but it promises to be a memorable one music-wise.