Astronaut problems

I have no idea of the veracity of this*, but I think it’s great anyway.
Gravity wins again:

hadfield

Hadfield returned to earth this week after 146 days in space on board the ISS. And while there were other astronauts up there with him, he was the one who kept us updated with the goings on aboard the vessel and gave us brilliant pictures like this.

* actually, now I do. Real tweet, but not the real man. 🙁

H.J. Jenkins is very unhappy

I think it’s fair to say that here was a mixed reaction when Margaret Thatcher died last month. And I’m not here to comment on any one of them.
What I am going to say is that there was also a reaction to those reactions.

Private Eye’s take on it (I felt) wasn’t particularly spectacular. Here’s the cover.
Nor was it particularly offensive, especially when compared to some of the other stuff going on.
However, some people seem to have taken exception. And one of them was H.J. Jenkins of Messing Park in Essex.

I think that you should read his (or her) letter to the magazine:

DSC_0404-1

So, summing it up paragraph by paragraph:

  • I used to like your magazine.
  • You were really horrid to Mrs Thatcher and because of that, I have pooed on your magazine and posted it back to you.
  • That was really nasty and not very British of you.
  • If you send me money, I shall flush it down the loo.

Now, I’ve been fairly upset about a number of things in my life. But I’ve drawn the line at maybe shouting a bit or writing an angry letter. I have never (yet) pooed on a magazine and posted it back to whence it came (the magazine that is). H.J. Jenkins must have been really annoyed.

Picture the scene. Enraged by the “anti-Thatcher sentiment” within the pages of issue 1338, H.J. Jenkins has considered his (or her) actions, probably including some shouting and a bit of angry letter writing and thought: “No. I am so annoyed that a shouting session or an angry letter just simply won’t cut it. Not this time.”
“No, I need to wipe my bottom on this magazine and return it to those individuals that published it. There’s a lesson that they won’t forget in a hurry.”
“Yes. The poo that will be left on this horribly… this distressingly… offensive issue, once it arrives at their offices, will let them know that I really did not appreciate the words and the images contained therein. They won’t write anything like that again and even if they do, I won’t read it. I really won’t.”

Seriously, exactly how annoyed do you actually have to be to do that?

It’s not even particularly absorbent.

There Are Road Closures in Cape Town CBD This Weekend

So take note and spread the word.
rwp
Last week, the City of Cape Town sent out a press release warning people of roadworks at the lower end of the CBD over the weekend and telling motorists to expect delays when entering the city via the N1 or N2.

But, as is their wont, people took no notice of this press release, motorists got delayed and everyone got very annoyed and blamed the city for everything: the alarming rise in bird flu cases in south east Asia, the continuing absence of any decent peace deal in the Middle East, the reduction in NASA’s funding by the Obama administration and the fact that it took them 15 minutes extra to get into town last Saturday.

There is, of course, precedent for this: each year at the State Opening of Parliament – an annual event which is always well publicised well ahead of time – there is utter chaos as people who apparently live under a rock and routinely head into work wearing blinkers and avoiding any kind of media on a 24/7 basis, then whine as they caught up in an unexpected (to them) traffic jam.

Let’s not let that happen this weekend. Here’s the detail:

Intersection of Buitengracht and Walter Sisulu Avenue
Extensive road rehabilitation work will take place on the intersection of Buitengracht and Walter Sisulu Avenue.
Lanes will be closed from 19:00 on Friday 10 May 2013 until 06:00 on Monday 13 May 2013.

Lest we forget, Walter Sisulu Avenue is the “new” name for Coen Steytler Avenue. And, because we’re trying to help out those sort of people that wouldn’t know where Coen Steytler Avenue was anyway, it’s the road that runs along the side of the CTICC and is the first set of robots you get to coming into town via the elevated freeway.

There will be delays.
You have been warned.
Share the wealth.

This Is Anfield

So the infamous board tells the players heading out onto the hallowed turf in L4. And we get to experience our own little bit of Liverpool magic as they head out to Cape Town later this month to play Ajax at the stadium. But – according to this piece in the Guardian from the well-respected David Conn, at least – Liverpool FC is letting down the local community in the search of bigger profits.

In the blighted streets around Liverpool’s Anfield stadium, residents are packing up and leaving their family homes, so the football club can have them demolished and expand their Main Stand. In the six months since the club scrapped their decade-long plan to build a new stadium on Stanley Park, and reverted to expanding Anfield instead, Liverpool city council has been seeking to buy these neighbours’ homes, backed by the legal threat of compulsory purchase.

People’s farewells are bitter, filled with anger and heartbreak at the area’s dreadful decline and at the club for deepening the blight by buying up houses since the mid-1990s then leaving them empty. A few residents are refusing to move, holding out against the council, which begins negotiations with low offers. These homeowners believe they should be paid enough not only to buy a new house but to compensate for the years of dereliction, stagnation and decline, and crime, fires, vandalism, even murders which have despoiled the area. Their resentment is compounded by the fact that they are being forced to move so that Liverpool, and their relatively new US owner, Fenway Sports Group, can make more money.

It’s a complex story of urban decay and degeneration over a number of years, none of which can be directly attributed to Liverpool FC, but there is a wealth of good anecdotal evidence suggesting that the onset of the problems in the Anfield area coincided with the club buying up – and then leaving vacant – housing in the local area.
Between the club, the local council’s compulsory purchase orders and the ruination of the area, residents believe that they are not moving out, they are being driven out.

It’s worth a read.

UPDATE: The Telegraph’s Tom Chivers adds:

I hope this story, if true, gets a lot of attention. Football fans, me included, focus on stupid non-stories, the various handbags-at-dawn things: the ludicrous moral outrage about Luis Suarez biting someone, or players diving, as though those are anywhere near as bad as a potential leg-breaking tackle. But we too often forget or ignore the real stuff, the venality in the game, the immorality of the people who run it.

Yes. What he said.

That other departmental concert warning

The Western Cape Education Department’s warning that children must not miss school simply because they are going to see (or have seen) the Justin Bieber concert in Cape Town on Wednesday evening has been widely circulated.

Paddy Attwell, WCED spokesman, said that the Education Department had no problem with kids attending the concerts but if any students chose to miss school, they would be dealt with internally based on the individual school’s code of conduct.

A crowd of around 50,000 is expected and many of them will be children, so it could be that Paddy et al will have their work cut out for them.

However, less well publicised was the similar warning from another Western Cape Department regarding the Bon Jovi concert on Tuesday evening at the Cape Town Stadium. We’re here to put that right.

The Western Cape Department of Geriatric Affairs has become aware of many requests to Old Age, Frail Care and Retirement facilities across the province regarding the temporary removal of patients and residents from facilities ahead of the upcoming Bon Jovi concert at Cape Town Stadium, Tuesday 7th May 2013.

We are aware that due to the nature of this concert and the artists playing, the uptake from our patients and residents will be high.

While the Department appreciates the efforts of the families and friends of patients taking them to cultural experiences, it should be noted that guardians should remember that due to their advanced age, patients and residents may experience confusion, bewilderment and/or death as a result of the excitement of seeing one of the great rock bands of 30 years ago.
However, those persons responsible for the elderly should please remind their charges that this is no longer the 1980s and that their cardiovascular systems, joints and energy levels will have diminished significantly since that decade.

Extra paramedics,resuscitation  equipment, defibrillators and frail care facilities are being laid on at the Stadium to cater for the those of advanced age who are expected to make up the majority of the audience for this concert.

In addition, we are aware of plans to take many Zimmer frames from our facilities for a promised special version of the song “Wanted, Dead or Alive” featuring the line “I’m a cowboy, on a steel frame I walk”. Residents and patients are reminded that removal of Departmental equipment from our premises is not permitted and will not be tolerated even in these exceptional circumstances.

The Department wishes everyone a safe and enjoyable experience on Tuesday evening and looks forward to seeing all their patients and residents back for a nice cup of tea and some biscuits on Wednesday morning. Shall we say 10ish?

Lovely.

Rock on…