PistoriusBalls 13

Again, it’s time for a serious note, a further observation.
Since Oscar Pistorius has come onto the stand – or perhaps rather since Gerrie Nel has begun his annihilation cross-examination – the spurious tweets have (mostly) dropped off. I think that the assorted journos feel that this is the moment that they’ve been waiting for: the bit that everyone wants to see. The immediate analysis has almost completely disappeared – suddenly it’s just facts being reported.

Mainly, anyway.

Which is most of the time.

 

These Kendrick Lamar lyrics could be the mantra of the trial journalists.

 

Yes, but remember to take turns on the swings in the playground.

 

“How long have we been here now?”
“No idea. I’ve completely lost track of time. 20 days? 21?”
“Meh – you put 20 and I’ll go for 21. No-one will notice.”

2021

 

Ass prosecutor? Blimey. What a specialised position. Just imagine if OP’s ass is aquitted but the rest of him ends up in prison. How would that even work? 

 

Also, they need to stop the Bulls playing rugby, Sundowns’ push for the league title, anything to do with the Union Buildings and prevent any of the 1.4million residents doing anything that might get in your way.

Nailed it… MH370

With all the election stuff, Oscar Pistorius stuff and… meh… everything else going on, you may have forgotten about Flight MH370. Fortunately, Natural Nuts hasn’t forgotten about it at all and despite being repeatedly told to please stay away, the judge clearly stated that you weren’t allowed to be within 200 yards of this property, they’ve come back to the party to tell us what really happened and why we haven’t been told about it already:

Here’s the most astonishing fact of all: because of all the facts stated above, the vanishing of Flight 370 must have required intentional planning and action from at least one government (and possibly more). Somebody is covering up the truth of what happened to MH370, and it looks almost certain that the Malaysian government is part of this cover-up.
The mainstream media is extremely reluctant to ever report on any sort of government cover-up, preferring to pretend that governments are always transparent and honest with the people of the world. Although such an idea is utterly laughable, it remains the default position of the conventional media.

Right. So, if it’s ‘cover up, cover up, cover up’, then what actually did happen to flight MH370?
Chief cock Mike Adams again:

Conclusion

Flight 370 most likely did not crash; it was almost certainly taken over (possibly by remote control) and flown to a destination with all passengers alive and the aircraft in one piece.

What happens from there is anyone’s guess, but the most likely use of such a stolen aircraft is to turn it into a massive airborne weapons delivery system to be outfitted with biological, chemical or nuclear weapons. Believe me when I say this is the real scenario being discussed behind closed doors at the Pentagon. The “pilot suicide” explanation is merely the sucker’s version of events for public consumption.

This does differ slightly from the (completely and utterly plausible) Alien Technology theory he suggested a couple of weeks ago, but never mind any sort of consistency in his stupid claims, hey?

Let me just run that one line past you again:

What happens from there is anyone’s guess, but the most likely use of such a stolen aircraft is to turn it into a massive airborne weapons delivery system to be outfitted with biological, chemical or nuclear weapons.

So it’s anyone’s guess, but your best effort is that? Have you been snorting hugely diluted quantities of Magnesia Phosphorica again, Mike? You loon. Not that aircraft theft is a particularly well documented crime, but perhaps you can enlighten us with some previous cases of stolen aircraft which have been turned  into a massive airborne weapons delivery systems, outfitted with biological, chemical or nuclear weapons, thus supporting your otherwise rather outlandish claims?

Or, er… not.

Not that it makes any difference to my life (or yours, I suspect, rolling around in your vast sums of cash earned by peddling bullshit to the gullible masses), but I think I’ll choose not to believe you about the real scenario being discussed behind closed doors at the Pentagon.

Or anything else you ever say.

Bill Bailey on British Politics

Bill Bailey sums up the voters’ options in The Times [paywalled] today. I love the descriptiveness:

With the polls narrowing and apathy rife, the comedian Bill Bailey gave floating voters a general election rundown during a work-in-progress show that is on in the West End until May 9.

The only trace of the Lib Dems after 2015 will be “a bunch of flowers taped to some railings”, he explained. Ukip are a troupe of “sozzled berks” whose only policies are an electrified fence at Dover and “no women in the bar area”, while David Cameron is a “congealed, laminated weasel”. As for Ed Miliband, “he is like a plastic bag caught in a tree. No one knows how he got up there and no one can be bothered to get him down.”

Image

Given those choices, I can’t see that apathy diminishing any time soon.

PistoriusBalls 12

Before the break:

I once did a project for almost 15 days and then I simply had to give up, so fair play to the journalists sitting in the courtroom for a few hours each day and being paid to tell people about it. Sterkte.

Euphemism, right?

😐

Probably her most incisive comment yet.

That’s a rather thick anticlimax. Much worse than a mist of disappointment or a haze of letdown.

_______________________________________

Aaand we’re back! Welcome to bring your own soft-furnishings to court day.

 

To be fair, I think he could have chosen just about anywhere better than to meet her than there. Amirite?

Getting started on podcasts to avoid Grant Nash

Note: This post is mainly aimed at Android users, but obviously the podcasts suggested are available across all platforms.

With the surprise departure of Gareth Cliff from the 5fm Breakfast Show, you’ll have been hoping to find something nearly as good to occupy your morning drive to work. Sadly, until their “relaunch” at 5am on the fifth of the fifth (read: “We weren’t ready for this. At all.”) you’re certainly not going to get it, as Grant Nash, one eighth of the much-loved Grant and Anele duo* “fills in” for Cliff and the team.

No thanks.

I’ve decided to try podcasts, given that the other radio options are rather limited in desirability. And I should mention that we’re in SA here, where digital and satellite radio are as likely to be seen in the next few years as that hoverboard from Back to the Future. In addition, we’re still battling with the joint foes of Grant and Anele slow internet and high data costs, which means that, for many people, streaming – especially on mobile – is a non-starter.

Podcasts are things that I have previously pretty much ignored, but Gareth’s departure and Grant’s arrival twixt six and nine have pushed me to explore a bit. And it’s not (quite) as daunting as I had imagined.
Basically, all you need is a podcast manager app and a willingness to explore a bit.

For the former, I chose Podcast Addict [QR code], simply because it had the best reviews on the Play Store and I’ve already found that it’s pretty easy and intuitive to use. Also, it’s ad-driven, so it’s free (although if you find that you are going to be using it full-time, you can chuck R30 at the developer to lose the ads).
Next, I had to decide which podcasts to try. This is obviously a very personal thing, but the internet can help with some starting points: here, here and here, for example. I looked at some comedy, some topical stuff and some educayshonel things. It’s worth noting that the BBC has a HUGE repository of podcasts on just about every subject. The only downside is that almost everything involving music can only be downloaded in the UK, because of copyright laws. And yes, I’m well aware that there are ways around this, but that’s your indaba, innit.

Something else I found were video podcasts. Hundreds of them. This might not suit though, because a) bandwidth and b) driving. However, if you have unlimited data and/or cash and you’re brave enough to take public transport, this could be for you. At two hours from Kenilworth to the Waterfront, God knows you’ll have the time to watch them. It’s worth noting that PodcastAddict’s search feature allows you to choose to look for audio, video or both. Typically, you’re looking at about 1MB per minute for most of the audio podcasts I’ve seen, so it’s “doable”.

So, what did I end up starting with? Here’s my list:

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio
Alex Horne Breaks The News
Huw Stephens on BBC Radio 1 (unsigned artists and DIY labels = no copyright issues)
Justin Moorhouse About 30 Minutes, No More Than 45 and
A History of Britain In Numbers

I also tried Stuff You Should Know, but I thought that it was a bit rubbish.

Early days, sure, but I’ve enjoyed my journeys with my podcasts and I really don’t feel that I’m missing out on much given the live alternatives available. I’ll keep you informed and updated on how things are going.

Meanwhile, if you have any thoughts on this subject or have any podcasts that you want to suggest, then please let me know in the comments below.

* approximate calculation based on BMI.