Category: that’s a bit mad

America continues to America

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Great news this week. The group Veterans on Patrol, which the Southern Poverty Law Center defines as “an anti-government militia organization” are out to destroy the Doppler radars used to detect and track tornadoes and other weather phenomena, all across America.

You might not think that you know what a Doppler radar looks like, but you’ll probably have seen one. They’re basically the big balls that you might find on a tower near an airport or on the top of a hill like Constantiaberg.

There it is on the left. And on the right is the mast that no-one really knows the height of.

But I digress. Often.

No-one – as far as I am aware – is going after our local ball, though. But in the US, there’s a concerted campaign by the VoP group to destroy all of these facilities to prevent them from being used as “weather weapons”.

“This group is advocating for anyone and everyone to join them in conducting penetration drills on NEXRAD sites to identify weaknesses which can be used to ultimately destroy the sites,” the email stated, using an acronym for the weather radar network. The group referred to the NEXRAD system towers as ‘weather weapons,’ and claimed there were no laws preventing American citizens from destroying the ‘weapons’”.

Much to the bemusement of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

But, of course, there’s a serious side to this:

The NEXRAD, or “next generation radar,” network has been in place since the 1990s and detects precipitation in the atmosphere. It can also help pinpoint tornadoes and severe thunderstorms, prompting timely, life-saving warnings. 

This comes just ahead of the (May and June) tornado season, and at a time when – thanks to the Orange Shitgibbon and his Loud Mouth Space Wanker – there are fewer than ever engineers and staff at the National Weather Service to repair any damage that does get done.

And then when people die because there are no tornado warnings because the Doppler radars have been destroyed by right-wing loonies, and there’s no-one left at the NWS to repair them, it’ll all be Joe Biden’s fault.

Obviously.

Helpful reviews

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I know that a lot of you out there think that it’s all invitations to film premieres, VIP seats at international music events and black tie charity auctions with foreign dignitaries – and look, a lot of it is – but there is also a mundane side to being South Africa’s favourite blogger.

You can’t simply overlook the day to day stuff.

Like buying bags for your German-made vacuum cleaner, for example. We’ve got the Kärcher WD3: a good mix of power, portability and reasonable value for money. And I need some new bags for it.

Und es ist gelb!

Weirdly, it’s proven actually quite difficult to find these things on previous occasions. They can be pricey, there always seems to be a stock and supply issue, and making sure that you get the correct bag with many similarly coded variants around is more of a pain than it should be.

So, here’s what I found initially:

OK. No stock, but that’s fine, I can wait. Fits the WD3. And 4 bags, which means that I probably don’t have to go through this rigmarole for maybe another year or so.

But this being a page from our pisspoor local Amazon wannabe, and they’re not always as trustworthy and accurate as we’d all like them to be, so – as always – I’m just going to check the reviews before I order.

And – as always – they’re absolute gold.

You know – you just know – that when anyone starts shouting at the end of a 5 sentence review, they are part mildly unhinged and part absolutely furious. There’s a guy on the Whatsapp group down in Agulhas that is FAMED FOR HIS SHOUTY RANTS, and you can always tell how outraged he is by how many he gets into a single message. I wonder if he’s related to Luke?

But look: that’s exactly what I was saying about above. You can never guarantee that what you ordered is what you’re going to get.

Elme’s a big fan of Takealot, though:

Elme’s hoping for a voucher for her groveling review. Sadly, she messed up by trying to buy her vacuum bags somewhere else first. Though quite why she needed to order from here at all when she couldn’t not find the bags at her local store is a bit beyond me.

5 stars from Tracy:

I wouldn’t love that it comes in a pack of 3 when I’ve ordered a pack of 4, but clearly Tracy doesn’t see that as a problem. I would agree that it’s the beat vacuum ever, though.

Grant is all about the savings:

I wouldn’t know where to go to buy an individual vacuum cleaner bag. I didn’t know that was a thing. And given the stress of trying find these things each time I need them, I’m already thinking that they need to be sold in a 20-pack.

But it’s Gabrielle that nails it for the “most helpful comment on the page” award.

What… what on earth was anyone planning to do with them aside from replacing the old bags? Use them as some sort of humane rodent trapping device? An avant-garde handbag for an upcoming trip overseas? A lamp shade for a troublesome pendant light fitting in the garage? Or a cheap (not that cheap) alternative to a beekeeper’s hat and veil?

Gabrielle has opened a can of worms here in hinting that there may be some other use for vacume bags for her vacume cleaner. Thankfully, with (hopefully) 4 in the pack, maybe I can try out some alternatives while not compromising on the housekeeping.

I’m going to order now, and experiment in 5-7 work days. Watch this space.

Never forget the seahorse…

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I was scrolling through some old photos on my phone this afternoon, when I came across this…

It’s actually a chicken nugget from a buffet at a birthday party at a restaurant in Kalk Bay, back in April 2022.

But it really does look like a seahorse. Or a knight from a chess set that has crispy, deep-fried pieces.

It was apparently considered remarkable enough at the time to record for posterity. (Alcohol may have been involved.)

And apparently still remarkable enough to make it into a blog post 3 years later. And I’m completely sober at the moment.

Just Yorkshire things

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Here’s the headline that piqued my interest:

Of course he does.

And here’s the quote which drew me in:

Mr Trevelyan said: “Those who know me well know I was eventually going to build a giant curlew.”

Of course they did.

It’s all good, though. Mr Trevelyan – an ex-puppetmaker, obviously – is raising awareness of the loss of habitat, land-use changes and climate pressures on the Eurasian Curlew (Numenius arquata) – by walking 53 miles (that’s 85.29km) dressed as a curlew.

He crafted the 10ft-long (3m) costume of a Eurasian Curlew – Europe’s largest wading bird – out of polystyrene and bamboo.

It’s an admirable endeavour. Although not without its dangers:

It’s got a 4ft-long curved bill…

[the costume, not the actual bird]

[Jesus. Can you imagine?]

…which I’m quite worried about snagging in trees on the way, or tripping over and it snapping, but I’ve got a splint and I’ve got strong tape in case that happens.

But that’s not even the most dangerous bit.

It’s very lightweight luckily, but I am a bit worried about getting up on the tops because it’s quite windy today.

Actual Curlews can fly. 3m long bamboo and polystyrene costumes of Curlews aren’t meant to.

Still, if you’re going to die in a horrific freak gust of wind/giant Curlew costume-related accident, it’s a beautiful part of the world for it to happen. Just look at those views (only mildly spoiled by the ubiquitous massive beak).

You can follow Mr Trevelyan’s journey on his IG, and you can donate to his (and the Curlews’) cause here.