Getting it right with baby

Hmm.

  Careful now.             Car seat 

Well, with another one on the way, I guess this might be a good time to polish up on our parenting skills.

This page seems a good place to start, with plenty of helpful advice.

 

It’s all got a bit silly

I’ve chosen to hide the BA038 post so that people can calm down just a little. It was all getting a bit silly. Especially from 86.130.225.6 – the queue to use that PC to send grammatically poor emails and make inadvertently amusing comments must have been hectic. That’s true dedication from those 1 people, right there.

Sure, it was great for traffic, but actually I would prefer fewer, but higher quality readers. Having half of South Oxfordshire on my back because they disagreed with my opinion was fun, but I soon tired of trying to translate the comments into English so that I could respond.
Contrary to what is apparently popular belief, 6000 miles is not an open forum for petty insults and misspelled threats.

So – can we get back to life as normal, please?
(That’s power cuts, sunshine, crazy politics, beer – and an unhealthy dose of TB…)

Have a special day.

Don’t get in touch

Too many people getting in touch with you from your blog?
Too many frivolousness communications* [sic]?

Well, Mark W Beech has stumbled upon the answer in his brilliantly entitled post, Teach me a lesson:
Make people buy you stuff if they want to get in touch!

I have set up the “contact me” page on this site to include an Amazon wish list full of Very Short Introduction books on all manner of subjects, and encourage people wanting to contact me to buy me one of those books and send me their message as a gift note.

And yes, true to his word, there follows a list of 182 books, each costing about £5.

Yep – that should certainly cut down on the number of “frivolousness communications” he receives.
But that’s not the best bit.

I have – admittedly briefly – scanned his blog back to January 2006 and done some rudimentary calculations and it would appear that his site has garnered a whole 3 (three) comments in that 2 year period.

And two of them were from him.  

I think that if I were to teach Mark a lesson, it would most likely be to not start building that bookshelf just yet.

Please take the time to give him a comment (that bit is still free) and tell him you saw him here.

* 6000 miles welcomes “frivolousness communications”

“The stress is crushing”

It’s amazing what I put myself through for you guys. I think that if I wasn’t the model specimen of prime physical fitness which I obviously am, then I would surely be suffering some sort of health issue or other related to producing this literary Manna which you so enjoy optically devouring. I put it down to my diet which consists solely of bananas, pizza and Castle Milk Stout and my rigorous exercise regime of Playstation football. I have thumbs of steel.

Anyway, why am I telling you this? Well, I went here and found this:

“The trouble with a personal brand is, you’re yoked to a machine,” said Paul Kedrosky, a friend of Mr. Malik’s who runs the Infectious Greed blog. “You feel huge pressure to not just do a lot, but to do a lot with your name on it. You have pressure to not just be the C.E.O., but at the same time to write, and to do it all on a shoestring. Put it all together, and it’s a recipe for stress through the roof.”

And Mr Malik claims that he suffered a heart attack due to blogging stress. Although:

Paul Walborsky, the chief operating officer for Mr. Malik’s company, Giga Omni Media, played down stress as a factor in Mr. Malik’s health. He noted Mr. Malik’s incessant smoking of cigars and cigarettes was a more likely cause.

I think that the astute Mr Walborsky has hit the nail on the head there. This blogging thing isn’t actually so difficult.

You should try getting Mansfield Town through to the Champions League final on FIFA 2007 while eating a banana. Then you’d know stress.

R437 is a poor effort at the Nellie

From news24:

Cape Town – A man who duped a bartender at the Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town to serve him with liquor to the value of R437, but could not pay for it, was fined R3 000 or six months on a charge of theft on Monday.
Dean Jacobs, 43, was also sentenced to an additional R3 000 or six months for the theft of a TV set that was attached to a wall at The Bay Hotel in Greenpoint.
Lawyer Sharon Williams told the court that Jacobs falsely informed the reception at the Mount Nelson Hotel in October 2006 that he was waiting for a friend to bring him his wallet so that he could book into the hotel.
In this manner, he was given a bar tab which permitted him access to the bar where he could drink on credit.
It is only when he already owed R437 for drinks, food and cigarettes, that the bartender approached him for payment. In his inebriated state, he admitted to the barman that he had lied and that he had no money.

Among the items listed on the charge sheet were a burger costing R60, eight beers, four Jack Daniels whiskies, a gin and four Amaretto liquers.

A number of thoughts spring immediately to mind here.

Firstly, how thick are the Mount Nelson’s bar staff? Why did the bartender not think to question why Jacobs had a television set, marked “Property of The Bay Hotel, Greenpoint” and still resplendent with twisted wall brackets, on his lap?

Secondly, why did it take the bartender 17 drinks (and a burger) to work out that Jacobs’ “friend” might not be turning up with his wallet? I wonder if it was as Jacobs crossed the unwritten threshold of R436 that the barman suddenly thought he’d better step in and ask for at least the first installment? Thanks to news24’s detailed reporting on how to dupe the Mount Nelson, I may pop in there tomorrow with a stolen tv, then carefully add up drinks and snacks to the value of R435 before I get sozzled, fall over twice and head for the car park.

Working on my average drinking rates, I’m going to say that we’re looking at an absolute minimum of 2½ hours of boozing there. Although, Jacobs is obviously an expert. Still, you can tell how bad things were getting as he slipped from the staples of beer and JD into the shady underworld of gin and almond liqueur. It’s the alcoholic equivalent of allowing one’s standards to drop and taking the ugly girl home from the nightclub. Actually, thinking about it, almond liqueur sounds more like he was ready to take the ugly bloke home… 

Thirdly, why on earth did he not go for a few stupidly pricey drinks at the start? The Mount Nelson is notoriously posh and expensive – to only rack up R437 (that’s about £32 or $63 for my non Saffa readers), well… it’s actually a damn poor show. Pathetic, even.
I would have fined him another three grand just for that.   

Finally, you’d think that news24 (South Africa’s premier news source) would have a spellchecker that might notice the fact that the word liqueur actually has two U’s.

Picky. I know.

Ooh – and photos from Franskraal, as promised in my last post, are now available at my flickr.

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