Category: that’s a bit mad

Not worried

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We should all be worried about just how much the internet and the things on the internet know about us.

Or should we?

No. Just relax, because the internet and the things on the internet clearly know next to nothing about us. Here are a few adverts and things that I was presented with just yesterday. Honestly, why are these companies wasting my time and their money by showing me stuff like… well… this?

Yeah. I’m the world biggest Manchester United fan. I never stop talking about them and my love for all things Old Traffordesque. Of course I’ll head out to a ManU bar to watch them play.
What an absolute waste of pixels.

Oh, and in answer to the question at the bottom there: no. lol.

Then there was this. No need.

I’m literally incredulous at this point. I have never shopped at Temu, I have never weighed 160kg (or even close, thank you very much), high waist really doesn’t complement my shape, and I clearly don’t understand the meaning of the word “elegant”.

I have so many questions.
What are they thinking? Is this a novelty item? Why would I be interested? And – although I really don’t want to ask this one – what actually is the fabric on the arse bit of these thundergrunties? It looks like the industrial-strength plastic they use to waterproof heavy loads on long-distance trucks.

Oh. Oh. Maybe it is. Right. [grimace]

Let’s move on: Garmin. GARMIN! Who (should) know EVERYTHING about me (including that I am nowhere near 160kg) given the data I supply them with. Garmin decides to show me this:

Wut? Are you absolutely nuts? Given that I don’t cycle and I don’t swim, this really is a stretch. For some reason, Garmin thinks that I might want to increase my average run distance by [several], then take up those two other activities and do them as well. I don’t like water or wheels.
Truth be told, I’m not even that keen on running.

Maybe Garmin is trying to kill me because I didn’t sign up for their $6 a month, AI-powered, kak package.

But hey, all of this has put my mind at rest.
Clearly, we think that Big Brother knows an awful lot more about us than it actually does.

It/He/The Collective know nothing.

How good is this?

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And by “good”, I obviously mean [checks notes] 6.92 out of 10.

Words are subjective, and that’s why scientists like objective things like numbers and data. Those make for a great (7.76/10) way of describing things in a way that everyone can understand and relate to.

But there is definitely some agreement when it comes to adjectives describing the goodity or the baditude of things. Look at this:

Here’s a list of adjectives which people have scored indicating just how “good” they feel the word is. And there are some lovely bell curves there: the best one being “average”, which at 5.09/10 is pretty much spot on for what you might think, but then the good stuff outweighs the bad ones on here, so it doesn’t quite work.

“Perfect” clearly isn’t perfect at all. As an absolute, we really should be seeing 10s across the board like Com?neci in Montreal, but some weirdo seems to have said that it’s only 4/10 and that goes to show just how unreliable words – and people – can be. So next time someone tells you that you are perfect, just remember that they could mean somewhere between “mediocre” and “below average”.

Ouch.

All in all though, there’s not a lot to argue with here. Generally, I’d say it’s OK (which I was happy to see was above “average”), and I can go on using my adjectives and superlatives safe in the knowledge that most people will just about understand exactly what I mean.

After and before

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Spotted this advert on the socials earlier. I don’t need my pool renewed,  nor am I an Ad Wizard, so I didn’t really pay that much attention, but…

… doesn’t Western convention mean that those two images should be there other way around to make the product and process in question seem worth spending your hard-earned money on?

This looks like a huge own goal. But at least it’s got some water in once it’s finished.

A bit personal

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We’re well used to our cellphones mysteriously serving us with adverts for things we chatted about while they were “listening in”.

I’m not hugely bothered about this: I’m a big boy now, and I can resist these sorts of puny sales tactics.

But finding this on one of my social medias this morning was a bit next level, and felt dangerously personal.

Because this exactly describes my morning yesterday, and now I’m wondering what else my cellphone knows about me.

The run was lovely, thank you: wet and windy, just as I like it.
The weather wasn’t great though.