Damn. Don’t you hate it when good ideas come along just too late?
This one came to my attention about 7 weeks too late for Valentine’s Day this year, but I can only imagine how overwhelmed Mrs 6000 will be to find that I have arranged her funeral for her as a romantic gift next February.
The brilliant bit about this gift is that once you’ve sorted it all out for the wonderful woman in your life, you will never have to get her another Valentine’s Day gift again – because you definitely won’t be together anymore.
Much mirth and merriment in South Africa today as footage of André Visagie, Secretary General of the AWB, storming off the set of etv news does the rounds.
Alternative video source (starts at 0:31)
These sort of funny things are always happening on SA TV. Who could forget the unfortunate “Chairman” Nhlanhla Nene incident, for example? But while Mnr Visagie is (sadly) very much a South African entity, live broadcast bloopers can happen to anyone. Even the great Nicky Campbell. Twice.
It’s another embarrassing nail in the coffin of the AWB. Not only are their views disgustingly racist and outdated, their members are a laughing stock. And, as you’ll see, their bodyguards are nervously smiling weedy teenagers. Ooh. Scary.
There’s a meme going around the SA internet at the moment: “Don’t touch me on my studio”, but having reviewed this footage time and time again, it seems to me that the presenter, Chris Maroleng, is actually continually inviting Visagie to touch him on his studio. Thus, thanks to the grainy coverage, only two questions remain: where exactly is the Chris Maroleng’s studio? And why does he want André to touch him on it on live TV?
UPDATE: And already: The Song.
Apologies if you have just experienced that minor tsunami off the Atlantic Seaboard. I was just doing some sit-ups and I sneezed. I do hope Camps Bay and its infamous residents are all ok.
Of course, this happens to the best of us. Take Deepak Chopra who was meditating on Shiva mantra and accidentally caused a 7.2 magnitude earthquake on Sunday afternoon. Seriously:
Had a powerful meditation just now – caused an earthquake in Southern California.
As Dan Evon writes, saying sorry is the least Chopra could do:
The earthquake Sunday destroyed homes, schools, and left thousands of people without electricity. If Chopra is responsible for the earthquake, he owes the world a little more than an apology.
As I mentioned above, Chopra is not the only one bearing this awesome responsibility: just this evening, I wasn’t meditating and absolutely nothing happened.
Since my excitement over the wonderful new road-based traffic lights in Lower Buitengracht, my google ads (subtly placed all over the site for your clickthrough delectation) have been going crazy for all things cat’s eyes. The company that seems to have benefited most from this sudden new trend is NightSight LED products. It’s a niche market and I guess that these sort of ads are aimed more at technical websites in the construction sector.
You know, the sort of people who should be blogging about cat’s eyes.
In the same way, the Korean marine safety products that google put all over the post on the Fishhoek shark attack were aimed at the shipping sector and not about a commentary on someone getting eaten in Fishhoek bay. (It’s worth pointing out that none of the Korean marine safety
products advertised would have helped the unfortunate swimmer, incidentally.)
NightSight have got some really odd stuff in their 2008 catalogue (which seems to be the most recent available).
For example, what is “fibreglass nosing”?
They also have some awesome stuff: who in their right mind could resist the “Glow Mining Helmet” or the concerningly-named “Solar Road Flares”? Not me – I’ve ordered several of each.
This company is undoubtedly the first place you should visit before your next outing to a fancy dress party dressed as any sort of robot or individual with a shiny helmet. You’ll be the talk of the jol.
I’m going to start paying more attention to google ads from now on. Obviously, I’m not allowed to click through my own (nor can I suggest that you should either), but my new aim in life (apart from the obvious world domination thing) is to find the weirdest products advertised by google ads.
I would guess, from what I’ve seen so far, that the competition will be quite stiff.
I’m going to keep this brief, because it’s a difficult thing to write. Following on from yesterday’s post and the situation it described and following a lot of thought during a very sleepless night, I have decided to pull the plug on 6000 miles… with immediate effect.
While I have enjoyed much of my time writing all sorts of nonsense on all sorts of subjects, it has become too difficult to fit quality blogging into a hugely busy schedule.
The rise and rise of this blog has made me very proud and I would hate to see it deteriorate to the level of certain other sites. Therefore I think it’s best to go out at the top – or as high as I got, anyway.
Many thanks are due to Mrs 6k for putting up with this extra individual in our lives and to The Guru, without whom much stuff would never have happened. But most of all to you, the readers – especially those loyal and regular commenters.
It’s been a fun ride.
Noon update: Some of my favourite other April Fools included “Labour’s new “Tough Guy” approach” to the election campaign in The Guardian, News24’s “National Anthems to be banned at the World Cup” and The Independent‘s LHC II on the Circle Line brilliance:
It would mean that two beams of protons would be travelling in clockwise and counterclockwise directions at 99.999999 per cent of the speed of light, within feet of Circle line passengers stuck in perpetual immobility.
None of which had me fooled for a moment.
Just like you and this post, right?