Race War Postponed

The Daily Maverick’s Phillip de Wet has been following events up in Ventersdorp as the funeral of the controversial AWB leader Eugene Terre’Blanche takes place.

The obvious intensity and gravity of the inflammatory situation there was summed up by his recent tweet:

While this may all be very amusing, since there has (touch wood) been no sign of any violence as yet, it is concerning that as the Highveld moves into winter and the dry season, these excuses for postponement may become fewer and further between.  

Or was this a poke at the sensationalist media which is camped out in the NorthWest, desperate for some action to sell some newspapers at whatever cost to the reputation of the country?

Please note that tickets for the Race War will still be valid when it is rescheduled. In the event that ticketholders cannot attend the revised date, a full refund will be offered by the outlet at which you purchased your ticket(s).

Next year…

Damn. Don’t you hate it when good ideas come along just too late?

This one came to my attention about 7 weeks too late for Valentine’s Day this year, but I can only imagine how overwhelmed Mrs 6000 will be to find that I have arranged her funeral for her as a romantic gift next February.

Valentine's gift idea

The brilliant bit about this gift is that once you’ve sorted it all out for the wonderful woman in your life, you will never have to get her another Valentine’s Day gift again – because you definitely won’t be together anymore.

Touch me on my studio

Much mirth and merriment in South Africa today as footage of André Visagie, Secretary General of the AWB, storming off the set of etv news does the rounds.

Alternative video source (starts at 0:31)

These sort of funny things are always happening on SA TV. Who could forget the unfortunate “Chairman” Nhlanhla Nene incident, for example? But while Mnr Visagie is (sadly) very much a South African entity, live broadcast bloopers can happen to anyone. Even the great Nicky Campbell. Twice.

It’s another embarrassing nail in the coffin of the AWB. Not only are their views disgustingly racist and outdated, their members are a laughing stock. And, as you’ll see, their bodyguards are nervously smiling weedy teenagers. Ooh. Scary.

There’s a meme going around the SA internet at the moment: “Don’t touch me on my studio”, but having reviewed this footage time and time again, it seems to me that the presenter, Chris Maroleng, is actually continually inviting Visagie to touch him on his studio. Thus, thanks to the grainy coverage, only two questions remain: where exactly is the Chris Maroleng’s studio? And why does he want André to touch him on it on live TV?

Kinky bugger.

UPDATE: And already: The Song.

Quake it up baby now

Apologies if you have just experienced that minor tsunami off the Atlantic Seaboard. I was just doing some sit-ups and I sneezed. I do hope Camps Bay and its infamous residents are all ok.

Of course, this happens to the best of us. Take Deepak Chopra who was meditating on Shiva mantra and accidentally caused a 7.2 magnitude earthquake on Sunday afternoon. Seriously:

Had a powerful meditation just now – caused an earthquake in Southern California. 

As Dan Evon writes, saying sorry is the least Chopra could do:

The earthquake Sunday destroyed homes, schools, and left thousands of people without electricity. If Chopra is responsible for the earthquake, he owes the world a little more than an apology.

As I mentioned above, Chopra is not the only one bearing this awesome responsibility: just this evening, I wasn’t meditating and absolutely nothing happened.

Phew.

Google Ads Cat’s Eye Love

Since my excitement over the wonderful new road-based traffic lights in Lower Buitengracht, my google ads (subtly placed all over the site for your clickthrough delectation) have been going crazy for all things cat’s eyes. The company that seems to have benefited most from this sudden new trend is NightSight LED products. It’s a niche market and I guess that these sort of ads are aimed more at technical websites in the construction sector. 
You know, the sort of people who should be blogging about cat’s eyes.
In the same way, the Korean marine safety products that google put all over the post on the Fishhoek shark attack were aimed at the shipping sector and not about a commentary on someone getting eaten in Fishhoek bay. (It’s worth pointing out that none of the Korean marine safety
products advertised would have helped the unfortunate swimmer, incidentally.)

NightSight have got some really odd stuff in their 2008 catalogue (which seems to be the most recent available).
For example, what is “fibreglass nosing”? 
They also have some awesome stuff: who in their right mind could resist the “Glow Mining  Helmet” or the concerningly-named “Solar Road Flares”? Not me – I’ve ordered several of each. 
This company is undoubtedly the first place you should visit before your next outing to a fancy dress party dressed as any sort of robot or individual with a shiny helmet. You’ll be the talk of the jol.

I’m going to start paying more attention to google ads from now on. Obviously, I’m not allowed to click through my own (nor can I suggest that you should either), but my new aim in life (apart from the obvious world domination thing) is to find the weirdest products advertised by google ads.

I would guess, from what I’ve seen so far,  that the competition will be quite stiff.