A Day In The Life

As I point out fairly regularly on here, I’m hardly a full time blogger. I do blog every day, but it’s not my job and I certainly don’t make a living from it. [cries internally]

There are, apparently, some similarities between me and a full-time blogger though. I saw this post earlier, and I noted the chord that was struck by his 10am and 10:15am comments. (I left the 9:30am one in because, you know, I’m still always hopeful.)

Of course, because this isn’t my full-time job, when I can’t think of anything to blog, the only loser is you, the reader. I’ll stick up a photo that I took in 2008 if I have to fill the space, and it does neither me nor my bank balance any harm.

And hey, you might get lucky and get something (only) a little more imaginative, like this.

But I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Football: Cape Town City win PSL title

There were amazing scenes at Cape Town City FC HQ this morning as it was confirmed that Cape Town City FC (the artists formerly known as Mpumalanga Black Aces FC) announced that they have secured the 2016/17 PSL Title in their inaugural season.

Aces/City actually finished 3rd when the arduous, old fashioned process of actually playing games and getting points was taken into account, but as their spokesperson Purchase Status told the assembled SA football press this morning:

We realised that since we had just bought our way into the league, we might as well go the whole hog and buy the title as well. It doesn’t always have to be about winning, getting points and your playing ability.
If you give local bloggers enough free caps and keyrings and stuff, that’s almost the same as being a real local club. Naturally, it’s a small step from there to buying the title.

Indeed, in the PSL, money talks: while we were at the City press conference, news came through that Amazulu – who finished in 5th place in the NFD in 2016/17 – had bought their place in the PSL for next season. But paying for position and honours isn’t always plain sailing, as Status went on to explain:

We made Bidvest Wits an offer that they couldn’t refuse, but they did refuse it, so then we simply threatened to buy their whole club and move it to Cape Town, and suddenly they changed their mind and sold us the 2016/17 title.

Plans are being made for a victory parade through the city, but no-one is sure whether it should be in Mbombela or Cape Town. Either way, we’re told that huge billboard-sized pictures of hundreds Cape Town City FC fans are being printed to line the route – wherever it may happen.

We’ll be spraying the crowds with JC La Roux bubbly. Sure, it’s not real French champagne, but then this isn’t a real club or a real title, so it kinda fits.

Who knows what the 2017/18 PSL season will bring us, aside from a poorly-attended, often interrupted, absolutely pointless charade in which the clubs with the most money will simply buy their way to where they want to be?

Born on the…

…4th July?

Not me. But America was, and they celebrated their 2017th birthday just yesterday.

Incidentally, the 5th July is Tynwald Day, so the Isle of Man is celebrating its birthday today. Who would have thought that two such great – yet completely different – nations would be born just one day apart?

Amazing.

The Manx are typically understated in their celebrations, but of course the Yanx are known for their excessive weight exuberance, and they have fireworks. Here’s a great timelapse of just how that looked last year over Los Angeles – which is basically their version of Port Erin:

Some trippy moments from 11 seconds onwards, but stick with it – you can afford the forty-nine seconds that it takes to get through. The aircraft heading in and out of the local airport only add to the effect, although the camera’s focus on them is rather LAX.

I’m so sorry.

Happy American Independence Day and/or Laa Tinvaal Mie – whichever one is more relevant to you.

 

Yes, I know about American Independence and the history of Tynwald. 

Journalistic excellence

Now look, I do think that the Mail & Guardian newspaper is one of the better examples of journalism in South Africa, albeit that the competition is not all that it could be. But since you’re one of the better ones, then perhaps when you’re tweeting about your “journalistic excellence”, you could at least ensure that all the words of the headline on the edition pictured are spelled correctly.

Interestingly, agains all the odds, this offending tweet has since disappeared.

Yesterday’s headlines today

I’m out of town for a few days, so expect shorter, punchier, compact and bijoux posts for a while.

But then, sometimes less is more. For example, when reading this headline:

I prefer to let my imagination run free, rather than following up and looking at the actual details of the story.

If you want to do the same, extra marks are available if you are able to factor this quote into your mental imagery:

The TSA is yet to respond to Ms Feinman’s claims, but earlier said the lobster had “cooperated quite nicely with the screening process”.

And if you really have to know what was actually going on: click here.