Photo of a man in traditional African dress, riding a unicycle, with a table on his head

Yep. You read right.

His inverted table legs lost amongst the masts and cranes of the Waterfront and Cape Town harbour.

Taken by Mrs 6000 on Wednesday. Even more fishy pics here.

DA landslide ‘destroys Zuma, ANC’

Democratic Alliance take shock landslide victory in South African elections, suggests exit poll.

According to the results of an exit poll conducted during the National and Provincial elections yesterday and published after the ballots had closed in the late evening, the DA is heading for a unprecedented landslide victory over the much-fancied ANC and seems likely to take as much as 94% of the vote.

The exit poll was taken outside the Polling Station at St. Laadedah Primary School in Cape Town’s upmarket Constantia suburb by independent survey company Census Reviews and Polls (CRaP) and showed that of sixteen voters leaving the station who expressed an opinion, fifteen (93.75%) had voted for the DA.

DA spokesperson Jannie van Wyk was excited by the results:

I recognise that this is just one exit poll, but if we extrapolate the results from this significant survey, we can see that it is obvious that our policies and campaign strategies have borne fruit. A 94% share of the vote is significantly up from our showing at the last election, which was 12%, and I think we can put that down to our hard work in offering the voting public a viable alternative the Jacob Zuma and the ANC.
With this landslide victory, we can work on putting those policies into action as we will presumably control nine of the nine provinces which were contested as well as the national government. In fact, with sure a significant majority in these South African elections, I see this as an opportunity for the DA to move into the rest of Africa and envisage Helen Zille as being Supreme Commander of the World by 2015. It’ll take a bit of tinkering with the Constitution, but that won’t be a problem with this sort of majority.

In fact, according to the exit poll, Jacob Zuma’s ANC have been wiped off the South African political map completely, having gained exactly 0% of the vote in Constantia Ward 76, while newcomers the Congress of the People (Cope) managed just 6%.

Cope heavyweight Mbhazima “Sam” Shilowa was disappointed by the poll:

I have to say that we were hoping to make double figures in this election. The party is just four months old, but I though we had gained more popular support than this on our anti-corruption ticket.
However, looking at the overall result, I think it will finally lay to rest the rumour that we were going to enter into a coalition with the ANC after the election. They clearly have less to bring to the table than we thought they would. Well, absolutely nothing actually. Not a sausage. Shame.

Other large parties who, according to the CRaP poll, failed to get a single vote nationally included the Independent Democrats (ID), Vryheids Front Plus (VF+) and the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP).
The Afrikaner VF+ were however, quick to disregard the results the Constantia poll though, saying that they preferred to base their predictions for the final outcome on an exit poll from Durbanville in Cape Town’s Northern suburbs, in which they had polled 100% of the votes cast, based on a sample size of 3.

Take courage, my friend

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) in the UK has come under fire for banning an advertisement for Courage Beer which it has deemed “unacceptable”:

A beer advert that suggested a man needed a drink before gaining enough “Dutch courage” to tell a woman that a new dress made her bottom look big, is unacceptable, the advertising watchdog said on Wednesday.
The poster ad for Courage beers showed a nervous man sitting on a sofa next to a can of beer with a woman standing with her back to him wearing a figure-hugging dress with its sales label still attached. [link]

The Tall Accountant has his opinion on the whole affair:

See the link for the latest from the nanny state.
I am not quite sure what the ASA’s issue is given that the whole issue is rooted in fact.

I can see where he’s coming from, but of course, I disagree.   

 

courage

A can of bitter is not going to be enough to assist the young gentleman on the sofa in expressing his opinion vis a vis the size of his girlfriend’s arse clearly and concisely to her. Believing that would be folly and would put him – and countless other blokes across the UK who regularly find themselves in the same difficult situation and think that a quick beer will save them – in great danger: No – you’re going to need at least a couple of four-packs for that. 

Drinking heavily before taking on the mission of answering the “does my bum look big in this?” question helps by allowing you to describe the potential problem(s) with the new outfit in detail, and also goes some way towards dulling the immediate pain caused by being struck with the iron, her shoe or your beer glass. It also has the added advantage of also relaxing your body so that your fall to the floor is less likely to do you permanent harm.
Of course, in a best case scenario, you would get so drunk that your other half actually looked attractive despite her massive arse being squeezed into a dress two sizes too small.

Of course, the ASA is unable to cite these genuine dangers as their reason for pulling the ad, because women just wouldn’t understand. This would lead to troubling debate during the ad break on Coronation Street regarding the ASA decision which in turn might lead to that horrible question about the new dress she bought last weekend at Meadowhell. Danger, Will Robinson!!
Better then to say that it might be construed as “offensive” and leave it at that.

Anyway, once again, the ASA decision to ban the advert has led to it becoming a global news story. The Wells & Youngs Brewing Company – who brew Courage Ales – must be gutted.

Twitter ye not

Incoming DM (direct message) on twitter:

You doing alright? If I’m not mistaken, you and I had a romantic moment some years ago. Can’t remember it, but hope all is forgiven.

Jeremy Nell / JeremyTNell

Erm… no. You are mistaken. Really.

And why would I be forgiving you?
Do you usually expect forgiveness when you can’t remember what you did during a ‘romantic moment’?
Have you got some sort of history in this regard?

We’ve never met, OK? Romantically or otherwise.

Have we?

OK – I’m scaring myself now.

 

Good luck Pammie!

While I’m not lazing in bed on Sunday, 6000 miles…regular and blogrollee, Ordinary Life (aka Pamie Jane), will be spending (she hopes) around 14½ hours swimming, cycling and running around and around the sleepy village of Port Elizabeth in the Ironman South Africa triathlon.

For those of you who are wondering, that’s:

  • 3.8km swim (through shark-infested waters, nogal!)
  • 180km bike ride, and then, just because you do,
  • a full (42.2km) marathon.

Nuts. Completely and utterly nuts.

If you want, you can track Pamie LIVE on the day via the ATHLETE TRACKER link on ironman.com.
Her race number is 875.

Good luck Pamie, from all of us at 6000 miles…

Note: regular readers will be aware of my dislike for large-scale athletic events which disrupt the daily lives of local residents. This event, however, is completely fine by me as it is some 750kms away in PE.