Category: annoying people

Meridian Coffee Error

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Spotted online recently, this:

…which really made my geographical OCD senses tingle.

What? A mildly blurred image of a disposable takeaway coffee cup?

Well, yes. But one which has come from the Greenwich Coffee Company in Greenwich Turkey, and one upon which the 0o Prime Meridian very definitely doesn’t go through Greenwich.

Or Turkey.

In fact, their 0o Prime Meridian is actually very much 18o.

Oops.

And, if you choose to ignore Stockholm (but then again, why would you?), then the only other major city on this line is right here: Cape Town. Quite why a business choosing to name itself after the accepted home of the Prime Meridian (since 1884, at least) has chosen to put the Prime Meridian going nowhere near… well… the Prime Meridian, is a little baffling.

And it gets even more confusing when you look at the decor in one of their outlets:

What now?!? Another Prime Meridian, this time again ostensibly at 0o, but actually sitting somewhere about 6o east of the actual Greenwich Meridian*, despite the big orange lettering suggesting otherwise.

But maybe there are other clues on that wall. Ireland being joined to Wales and Scotland. New Zealand only having one island. Hudson Bay being Hudson Lake. The easterly migration of Rwanda and Tanzania. And the misspelling of Guatemala.

Perhaps it’s just that they’re not actually very bothered about geographical accuracy. And I guess that’s fine, as long as they are putting a bit more effort into their products and their service. And they do get 5 stars on their one review on Tripadvisor, and that despite the coffee being rubbish:

So the only coffee they bought was crap, but they gave it 5 stars and titled their review: “Coffee [yummy, licking lips emoji]”. This place really is confusing.

For me though, it’s just a bit disappointing that I’m not going to be able to stick a straight bit of metal on my patio and then charge tourists a hefty fee to take photos of themselves standing astride it.

Perhaps I should be considering a campaign – potentially fronted by the Greenwich Coffee guys – to move the Greenwich Meridian to Cape Town. For a while, at least.
Just while they use up the last stock of that bulk order of geographically incorrect takeaway cups, and I get to make some decent money from the temporary rehoming of the big North-South line, thus paying for the therapy I will need from having had to see it come through here anyway.

* and thus missing every single city in the world apart from Saarbrücken.

That’s not me

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“Suggested for you”, said my Spotify. And then proceeded to come out with a stream of diverse artists such as Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, The Troggs, Nat King Cole and Fleetwood Mac.

And Selena Gomez.

Oi! Spotify! No!

Have we not been together for a number of years now? What are you thinking? Literally none of those appeal to me in the slightest. Sure, they may each have had a hit (or maybe two) which I have heard in the last few years, but that was it.

In fact, so bizarre was the selection presented, that I’m even wondering if my account has been hacked: maliciously like my bank card or just as some sort of mildly elaborate sick joke. Think about it – it’s the perfect way to get at someone: invading, influencing and ruining their most personal moments by wreaking havoc in their algorithm. And then the soundtrack for their next plane trip or exercise session will be trashed.

The only sad bit is that you’ll never even know if it worked. Unless they write a blog post about it.

Well done, whoever you are (it’s probably my daughter). You got me.

ON THAT NOTE (no pun intended), here’s my 2024 Spotify Playlist. Which contains all the good stuff that isn’t the stuff mentioned above.

Click through, hit random and have fun. I’ll keep adding the good stuff as I hear it.

Annoying x2

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That my bank card got cloned is very annoying. It could have been much worse, as whoever did the clonery hit it with one successful transaction yesterday afternoon, and then followed up with another quickfire 8 efforts, but thankfully, only the first one managed to get through.

What’s even worse is that the one transaction that did go through was at a US-based woo-woo dietary supplement site, thus adding pseudoscientific insult to financial injury.

I called the bank immediately, and – credit to them (no pun intended) – they reacted very quickly in stopping anything else from happening, using a scorched earth policy. I can’t help but think that the guy on the other end of the phone – friendly and efficient though he was – wasn’t really bringing much to the conversation by suggesting that it was “probably fraud”. It’s fair to say that everyone involved in the situation was probably well aware of that.

So where did my card get cloned? I don’t know. I used a Nedbank “back of the van” mobile ATM at the races on Saturday (with the card), and I also bought some food there (with the card, but on my phone). I bought some sugary water at a well-known supermarket chain on the way to football yesterday. But if that was the weak link, then we’re really in trouble.

I guess we’ll never know.

I don’t have a bank card at the moment, which is rather frustrating, because I really needed to buy some food today. I guess I’ll just have to manage with the two tonnes of protein powder and multivitamins that have just arrived from Atlanta to keep me going.

My shipment on hold

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Bad news from my email today. My shipment on hold.

Hopefully, it’s not on hold next to the Al Kuwait (actually, she left this morning).

But it’s not great that my shipment sent through smash contains things that are dependent on customs obligations. No-one wants that to happen to them.

Those customs obligations are R16.13. That’s 67p or 85c.
It’s not a lot, but I’m glad that they might want to illuminate me about it.

Something seems to have been lost a little in translation [lol, you think?!? – Ed.] on the next line though. It’s almost as if for some reason, they mistook customs as in the department responsible for taxing products moving in and out of the country, with customs, meaning a way of behaving or a belief that has been established for a long time.

Hence their use of a synonym for the wrong customs and asking me to pay my traditions obligations.

Oops.

What happens if I don’t pay my traditions obligations, though? What are you going to do about it?

Wait, what? The shipment might get back to transporter?!? Not the same transporter that sent through smash contains things that are dependent on customs obligations?!?

I’d better visit their site and adhere to the directions, and then acknowledge the conveyance, sharpish.

He’s Not Wrong

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Sean Dyche makes a good point:

It’s true. Kids are very impressionable. When I were a lad, whenever we saw anything different or exciting in the football over the weekend, there would be loads of us trying it out in the playground on Monday morning. I wonder how many kids were “moving the ball” (and the foam) before taking their free kicks, after Ivan Toney did it, and after it was praised so roundly by all the pundits?

As we remarked at the time, moving the ball might have been seen as being “a bit clever”. But as soon as he moved the foam as well, well, it was clear that he knew he was cheating.

Sure, it’s not the biggest thing in the world, but it is symptomatic of the way that some bits of football are going. And the well-paid, “celebrity” pundits sitting in the cosy, warm studios are – for some weird reason – encouraging it.
So why not start with the small stuff and actually note that Toney was deliberately breaking the rules, rather than admiring his actions? Just say that it was wrong. You don’t have to want him to be banned for 8 months: he can do that himself.

Also, I quite enjoyed this quote because he’s basically taken three whole paragraphs to just say “Fuck you, Michael Owen”.

It’s something I regularly find very easy to condense into just those four words.

Oh, and also, one more thing: I put this graphic up on our football team Whatsapp group this morning and no fewer than six people agreed with it. All of them dads. We’re bringing up our kids right. Forza.