Glasgow independence vote “a possibility”?

Everyone has now heard how “close” the Scottish Independence vote was (but in case you haven’t, there was 10.6% between the yes and the no vote totals). I’d also heard that Glasgow had voted Yes and Edinburgh had voted No.
What I didn’t realise is that basically, it was only Glasgow (ok, and Dundee) that had voted Yes overall. That said, it’s worth noting that because of the paucity of population elsewhere in Scotland, those 4 tiny blue areas make up almost 20% of the electorate.

sind

That’s not to say that the results elsewhere weren’t close. In fact, apart from the outlying islands, it was all very tight.

And, in another interesting stat, with the Scottish National Party supporting independence and the Liberal Democrats, Conservatives and Labour against it, the referendum results bear no correlation to the general election results of 2010. None of the SNP held areas voted Yes, and the areas the did vote for independence were held by either Labour or the LibDems. This shows either that there’s been a shift in perception since the 2010 election (maybe) or that this issue transcends all other party politics (yes).

What it also shows is that maybe Glasgow should go it alone and become an independent state. It would leave about half the people unhappy if they did go, but then about half the people are unhappy anyway. And if you thought that Scotland was going to become a failed state after declaring independence, then wow, Glasgow would be a disaster. Even more so than it is now.

If that’s possible. (Spoiler: It’s not)

So we English are stuck with subsidising Scotland for a bit longer. Our annual rainfall stays unrepresentatively high and our life expectancy remains reduced.
But it’s nice to still be the vaguely United Kingdom.

Jimmy

Jimmy Somerville is Scottish and he has a new single coming out shortly (spoiler: it’s VERY  Jimmy Somerville). Also, Scotland is voting on independence today. Thus, it comes down to 6000 miles… to combine that fact and those two events and give you one of Jimmy’s old songs.

Given the renewed feuding over Hadrian’s Wall, I think Bronski Beat’s I Feel Love is right out. And so, I’m sticking with the No campaign, giving me a choice of The Communards’ 1986 Don’t Leave Me This Way or my final selection from 1987, Never Can Say Goodbye:

I have no idea which side of the referendum fence Jimmy is on, and quite honestly, I don’t really care. It scares me that so many people base their opinions on individuals who have no more idea of what is going on than Joe McSoap. A good example is Andy Murray, chucking out his sickening, anti-UK rhetoric from his mansion in Surrey, England: especially irritating since he doesn’t live in Scotland and so can’t vote anyway. Lest we forget, he’s a tennis player, not a political analyst.

It’s suddenly all got rather silly:

twit

And rather nasty:

yes

Bridges are being burned (not literally – yet) left, right and centre and it’s very clear that things aren’t ever going to be the same again, no matter what the outcome of the vote today.

If anything ever called for going home, watching the footy and drinking a large brandy, today was probably it.

Lobster

Mental scenes in usually sleepy Cambridge this last week as “it all kicked off” during… well… during a “vigil for lobsters”, as you can see:

image

 

Right. Some sorting out of this story needs to be undertaken and I’m undertaking it. A quick check of the Cambridge News website gives us the details:

Animal rights activists claim a campaigner was arrested for ‘blowing a whistle’ after a silent vigil was held for lobsters outside a Cambridge restaurant.
About 15 protesters gathered at the Riverbar, Quayside to protest over the boiling of live lobsters.
The vigil was held on Saturday half way through the event, and veteran activist Joan Court, 95, spoke to campaigners about the culinary practice.
Edmund Maile, of Animal Rights Cambridge and the United Shellfish Front, said: “One protester was arrested early on for blowing a whistle. She was released from custody around 4am the next morning with no charge.”

To be honest, those details raise more questions than they do answers. Why a sudden protest about lobsters, a crustacean we as humans have surely enjoyed for many thousands of years? Why Cambridge, when it’s the USA and Canada that produce and consume almost two-thirds of the lobsters worldwide each year? Yeah – maybe protest in Cambridge, Massachusetts, those New England lobster-murdering bastards!!!, but this is Cambridge in England: it’s much more gentile and (despite being awfully posh) puts far fewer lobsters to DEATH BY PAN than its Stateside namesake.

Next up: “Joan Court, 95”. That’s a pretty good age to be still active, let alone being an activist. But then I once saw a QI programme with Stephen Fry, where it was suggested that because of their telomerase enzymes, lobsters were potentially immortal. All of which suddenly makes 95 look a bit pathetic.
Not that all lobsters can live forever. Those at the Riverbar in Cambridge, for example, only really last until they meet the bubbly water in the big hot pan in the kitchen.
I’m not suggesting that anyone should try this with Joan.

Edmund Maile. Edmund. Edmund, Edmund, Edmund.
Edmund looks like you’d expect him to look. A bit hippy, a bit unkempt, a proper rebel; A proud member of  “The United Shellfish Front”? Really? Well, yes. Really.

The United Shellfish Front (USF) is a decentralised organisation dedicated to abolishing the exploitation of aquatic invertebrate animals.

It does sound like something from Monty Python though, doesn’t it?

Palin [dressed as caveman, on desolate rocky shoreline][holds up sea creature]: This looks good, Chief. Should we eat it?
Cleese [dressed as Chief Caveman][officiously]: Does it ‘ave a spine? We can’t eat it if it doesn’t ‘ave a spine. The United Shellfish Front will be all over us with their silent vigils and candles and such.
Palin: [mildly bewildered]: Well, how do I know, Chief?
Cleese: Tear it’s ‘ead off and ‘ave a look.
Palin: [tears head off sea creature, which wails pitifully as he does so] No, Chief. No spine.
Cleese: [look of resignation] Bugger.

Because no. Never mind the fishes, because the discriminatory little shits choose to disregard the feelings of anything with a spine. So, sharks are safely covered by the USF, eels aren’t, and your local fish shop is fine, as long as they don’t sell mussels. Or possibly octopii.

But even after all of this, one question stands head and shoulders above the rest:

Why on earth was someone blowing a whistle at a silent vigil?

Worst Silent Vigil. Ever.

And while the animal rights people are all up in arms over the arrest, firstly, having talked to a legal expert (and I mean a real one, not a twitter Oscar commentator) I would wager that the woman wasn’t arrested for “blowing a whistle”, because that’s not actually a crime. I’d wager that it was something a bit more than that. Like being a bit of a twat. Technically, of course, that’s also not illegal, but it is far more likely to get you carted away by the Rozzers for a couple of hours than a quick ‘peep peep’.
Secondly, if I was Edmund Maile, with my whelk-loving brethren, and I was trying to organise a silent vigil, and someone came along and started blowing a whistle around my vigil, I’d probably give Plod a quick nod and get rid of her sharpish, capisce? No self respecting animal rights group wants a whistleblower in their ranks, now do they?

Bdum-tish.

Edmund said:

“Although our group does not encourage or partake in unlawful behaviour, any kind of activity that may be regarded an ‘extreme’ response to animal abuse is unlikely to be significant when compared to the harm that millions of lobsters suffer.”

Obviously, by “our group”, he is speaking for the USF and not Animal Rights Cambridge, because Animal Rights Cambridge (including Edmund) have quite willingly broken the law before.
Perhaps the most illustrious of their antics was when they tried and failed to stop a boat race in Cambridge to protest about the relocation of a swan from the river. Yes, really (again).

The male swan had developed an extremely aggressive tendency towards all forms of river craft. Rowing boats had borne the brunt of these attacks, which had resulted in vessels losing steering control and scullers capsizing.

So the authorities relocated him away from humans. And the hippies decided to protest about that 3 months later, following absolutely no further attacks on anyone on the river. People can be odd, can’t they?
And by “people”, I mean Edmund and friends and I also mean whoever decided not to just top the swan, there and then. Big pan of boiling water, done.

Tasty, too.

Agnes Trzak, PhD researcher of social justice, said: “We, the public, would find it unacceptable and outrageous if other species were to be killed in the same place we bring our families for a pleasant dining experience.”

Nope. You don’t speak for me. I want it fresh and I want it now. I’m completely aware that an animal has to die for me to eat it. That’s because evolution has plonked me right at the top of the food chain, looking down on those herbivorous delicacies below. And in fact, with such aquatic invertebrate animals as the lobster, I’d much prefer that killing to be done in the kitchen right next door, as those things can go off pretty quickly.
If you don’t want to eat in a restaurant where animals are part of the food, go and eat in a vegan place. That’s just fine by we, the rest of the public. But don’t go telling me where and what I should and shouldn’t eat, with your poorly-observed silent vigils and your ridiculously belated and pointless swan protestations. Grow up.

But then I suppose that nothing quite screams Cambridge like your biggest issues being the humane relocation of some troublesome swans and the way that lobsters are cooked in the local restaurant.

PistoriusBalls 20

Verdict time, and it’s all about who can get some last minute self publicity for their woefully unprofessional unique take on the Oscar Pistorius trial. Early contender, Rebecca “Moar Whimsy” Davis is contending early with this, from just 12 minutes in:

 

While legendary Oscar veteran Barry Bateman is already blowing things up out of all proportion:  

 

Brett Kebble expert, Mandy Wiener is well known for leaving no detail unrecorded:

I’ll save you the minutia about Judge Masipa’s breathing habits. For the moment.

 

Meanwhile, how would you describe the courtroom?

Thus, what follows is a damning slur on the Durban curry industry generally. Although, there’s probably a market out there for thick and sweaty curries. Maybe.

 

There’s just time for a little bit MOAR WHIMSY!!!!

 

And we had to slip this “most bizarre tweet of the trial” tweet in:

Tomorrow, thanks to that early ajourney: maybe Bonus Balls!

Blackouts likely as power stations close for repairs

I know, South Africa. We’re used to it now, aren’t we? Electricity shortages, load-shedding, blackouts.

Since the first issues reared their ugly rears back in 2008, it’s become almost second nature to us: now, even the briefest of power cuts is hollered from the rooftops as being a rolling blackout and another demonstration of just how badly our country is behind the rest of the world.
And now, this: the news that four power stations:

…which provide 10% of the country’s electricity, could be offline until the end of the year on safety fears [raising] further concerns about the chances of blackouts during the winter.

Only in South Africa, hey?

Except no. Because this is from a Sky News article about the UK. So let’s drop the exceptionalism and step away from the exceptionalism. Keep your hands where we can see them. etc etc

It’s not new, either. The UK has been warned about this for over a year now.

I’m well aware that two wrongs don’t make a right though, and I’m sure the 120 million odd individuals resident in the UK and SA would much rather have readily available electricity 24/7/365. But in a society where we are so anxious to draw attention to the negatives (and let’s be fair here, there are plenty of negatives to draw attention to), singling out SA as being the only country where the population has to contend with power shortages is plainly incorrect.

And yes, Eskom keep increasing our electricity prices, and that’s very, very annoying, but guess what’s happening elsewhere?

In the UK: Energy bills rise by 37% in 3 years.

In Germany:

Today an average family of four in Germany spends about $107 a month for electricity. This year, their monthly bill will be $129. The price hike is due to an increase in the Renewable Energy Surcharge. The surcharge is one of many government fees, taxes and subsidies that are passed on to average consumers and fund Germany’s renewable energy sector.

That’s a 20.6% increase.

And even in the USA: “We are now in an era of rising electricity prices,” said Philip Moeller, a member of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.

And as for the ludicrous sight of Eskom begging South Africans to use less electricity (cue: “What other organisation asks people to use less of its product?” remarks), well – most other electricity suppliers around the world, actually.
e.g.:

As temperatures plunged to 16 below zero in Chicago in early January and set record lows across the eastern U.S., electrical system managers implored the public to turn off stoves, dryers and even lights or risk blackouts.

We’re not alone. We’re not even vaguely special when it comes to not having enough electricity to go around – how about this for a headline?

New research warns world to prepare for blackout

That’s right – the whole wide world.

It’s time to drop the victim mentality and give up on the self pity. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, or if it is, it’s only because of all the extra s**t over there.

Eskom might not be a world leader in electricity supply and production, but neither, it seems, is anyone else.

UPDATE: And Belgium.