Call the ambulance(s)

“Forewarned is forearmed.”
“Be prepared.”
“Being ready isn’t enough; you have to be prepared.”
“To be prepared is half the victory.”
And all that.

Hi, I’m here to help.
Let me explain.

New Year on Struisbaai beach is an experience. The combination of several thousand drunk Afrikaners playing with several hundred thousand Rands worth of amateur fireworks in the dark, with the Indian Ocean on one side and some flammable grassy dunes on the other makes for an exciting combination. If anyone bothered to do a risk assessment on this annual event, it would rank alongside swimming with hungry sharks, poking a puff adder or tickling a sleeping dragon for sheer stupidity

I love it and I can’t wait til this evening. Oh – and it’s all perfectly legal, too:

Vuurwerke

Die afvuur van vuurwerke/klappers op enige plek, datum of tyd is onwettig. Gemeenskap Polisie Forum, Buurtwag, Suid Afrikaanse Polisie Dienste en Kaap Agulhas Munisipaliteit Beskermingsdienste – het besluit dat vuurwerke vanjaar tydens ou-/nuwejaarsvieringe slegs tussen die Struisbaai Hawe en die Hoofstrand afgevuur mag word vanaf 20:00 op 31 Desember 2018 tot 02:00 op 1 Januarie 2019.

Boom – quite literally.

The only real variable in the heady mix described above is how much beach is available. The spacing out of holidaymakers and fireworks is key to the reduction in the level of danger on this one given night. And so I had a quick look at the tide tables for this year’s event.

It’s… it’s not looking good.

The last high tide for 2018 in Struisbaai is going to be at 23:58 this evening. This means that there will be very little beach available. But there will still be several thousand drunk Afrikaners playing with several hundred thousand Rands worth of amateur fireworks in the dark, with the Indian Ocean on one side and some flammable grassy dunes on the other.

Can I suggest the the powers that be organise several (or more) ambulances in advance of this evening’s festivities? And perhaps also that anyone going along takes an umbrella. A thick one that can stop falling fireworks.

Whatever your plans for this evening, have a safe one. Enjoy.