How to be outraged on the internet

With much kerfuffle and outrage around the kerfuffle and outrage on the internet at the moment, The Pessimist has come up with a great list which you should consider as the gold standard of how to be outraged on the internet.

It’s called How To Be Outraged On The Internet and it hits the nail squarely on the head, with helpful tips to remember, such as: It’s All About You and the essential three stage programme of Constantly Threaten to Quit Social Media, Quit Social Media (In a huff. The huff is vital. Do not forget the huff.) and Rejoin Social Media (preferably around 2 days later).

If you’ve ever spent any time watching people being outraged on the internet, you will immediately recognise these traits and therefore thoroughly enjoy the post. If not, it’s probably a good beginners’ guide, which will almost certainly put you off going near the internet any time soon.

PSB – Electric

Yes, the new Pet Shop Boys is out and I’ve been meaning to write about it for ages. Not least because I’m very impressed with what they’ve turned out – again.

First off, I am a fan. A quick glance at my iPod shows that I have almost 200 tracks of  theirs – and that’s about 1 for every year they’ve been going. But I didn’t like last year’s rather dreary offering, Elysium. This was of concern. But I needn’t have worried: Electric couldn’t be more different. It’s very dancy – something like you would expect of one of their remix albums, rather than straight out of the studio. But, as The Quietus pointed out, they keep things in check:

Instead of using that as the excuse to do something daft and over-ooof the pudding, ‘Bolshy’ continues with its sun-dappled panache. This is Pet Shop Boys at their sexiest, most sun-kissed

I’m often guilty of doing something daft and over-ooofing the pudding, so it’s nice to see that experience has taught them to be able to avoid that.

Experience (and the fact that that they’re producing content under their own label now) has also allowed them to choose exactly what they want to release and the result is a no holds barred, hi-energy dance album which somehow manages to take you straight back to the gay clubs of the early 1990s, while bridging the gap between 80’s electronica and 2013 dubstep.

It’s only 9 tracks long, but even within that there are many of the best things they’ve done in years. It’s all good, but the standout tracks for me are, in no particular order, Love Is A Bourgeois Construct, Thursday, Axis and Vocal. And that’s almost half an album full.

Axis is the first track on the album and Tennant encourages us to “turn it up”. It’s fast, powerful, unapologetic dance and a great intro to what’s to come, with its repeated “Electric Energy”:

Love Is A Bourgeois Construct [youtube audio] drops in at track three and the massed ranks of the male voice choir, last heard in Go West, are back. The backbone is a solid dance version of the theme from Henry Purcell’s 1691 opera King Arthur. Yes, really. There are aggressive violins, muted brass and even a harpsichord. There’s not many groups that could pull that sort of thing off, but this is perfection. Due for release on 2nd September, it should go far, but probably won’t.

Vocal [youtube] is the 2013 version of It’s Alright: simply a celebration of the joy of music:

And everything about tonight feels right and so young
And anything I’d want to say out loud will be sung

It’s in the music
It’s in the song
Everyone I hoped would be around has come along
For the music

It’s in the music
It’s in the song
And the feeling of the warmth around us all is so strong
It’s in the music

It rounds off the album and just as Axis starts it perfectly, Vocal makes you appreciate just how much you’ve enjoyed the past 49 minutes and 12 seconds. There’s no agenda here, just simple jubilance at how music can uplift the human soul.

But my favourite, I think, has to be Thursday [youtube audio] in which we’re encouraged to stay for (a somewhat elongated) weekend:
“Come on. Why not?” purrs Tennant.
The track starts with a glockenspiel motif over a background of synth which could be from any of the late 80’s PSB tracks. And then, the pizzicato strings and 7-chord piano intro into the chorus. And then, just when you think it can’t get any better – UK rapper Example (who was born nearly 2 years after the Pet Shop Boys got together) pops up and does his thing. It’s unexpected, but it fits and it works.

There’s actually very little that I don’t like about this album, very little indeed. And, though it’s amongst some really strong competition (some of which hasn’t even been released yet), this is top of my list for my best album this year right now.

Go buy it.

I want to play a game…

File under: Wrong?, What could possibly go

Send Me To Heaven (or SMTH) is a novel app for your smartphone. It is, according to the developers:

…a sport game.

In which:

Player throws his phone as high as he can. The higher the better. The phone registers the height and uploads result to leader boards. World Top 10, Week Top 10 and Day Top 10 lists are available.

But isn’t this all a bit risky? Well yes, but it’s ok – they’ve got that covered:

Hints: Be careful not to injure yourself or others. Be always aware that there is enough space above you and around you. Do some training to learn right skills to get best results.

Presumably “best results” means not breaking your phone or your fingers. Or both.

And it seems that this has happened with iPhone users, and that’s why Apple has pulled it from iStore, presumably under some sort of nanny state, user protection clause like their infamous:

Apps that include games of Russian roulette will be rejected.

Anyway, I couldn’t just post about this and not actually do it, so I actually did it.

Here are the (rather straightforward) instructions – remember: no rockets or parachutes, folks.

Screenshot_2013-08-06-15-44-20    Screenshot_2013-08-06-15-39-39    Screenshot_2013-08-06-15-39-47

And, once I’d agreed to their disclaimer, I chucked, with dreams of appearing on CTIA’s radar screens… but this was the best that I could manage (safely) with my precious Xperia T:

Screenshot_2013-08-06-16-09-36

So far, anyway…

Here’s the QR code for you Android users:

smthqr

via engadget.

Surf…

Cape Town has gone a bit iffy today, grey, cool, drizzly: the precursor for the big storm coming through this evening and tomorrow.

But Cape Town hasn’t always been this way. This weekend, for example, Cape Town was lovely. Warm, sunny, pleasant. And, according to many of my surfing friends and contacts, “Dungeons was firing!”. I had to go and look this up, because the obtuse reference to a castle prison and some odd hat tip to The Apprentice didn’t make much sense at first.

But they meant the Dungeons surfing spot just around the corner from Hout Bay. And they meant that there were some good waves to surf there. The Guardian had also done some translating and gave us a couple of lovely images to visually indicate what was going on.
Here are they:

Big wave surfing in Cape Town, South Africa

Big wave surfing in Cape Town, South Africa

Gorgeous, ne? Just look at that wall of water. Wow.

You wouldn’t find me playing in waves that big, but that’s not to say that you can’t pop out and have a bit of fun if you want to. Just make sure you have some decent medical insurance and a reasonable funeral plan in place first though, ok?

Photo credit: Nic Bothma via The Guardian