Doing the business in China

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Any takers to look the future with them for do the business?

I’m certainly tempted.

              

Pretty knackered

Bouncebackability is something that kids have litres of. Or whatever unit bouncebackability is measured in.
Take a boy’s tonsils out on Monday (or get someone to do it for you) – and by Tuesday, he’s legging it around the house and garden and you’re left wondering if he really did have the op or if it was just a figment of your imagination.
But I’ve often thought that my boy has the speed gene, whose phenotypic manifestation means that unless he keeps going at 55mph or above, he will explode. All that can save him is Keanu Reeves hanging out of his bottom and then jumping into his nappy on the end of a cable in a shower of sparks. This will obviously all take place at Cape Town International Airport, once the construction work is completed.

In the meantime, the rest of the family is sick. The kitchen is awash with antibiotics and snot, and Kleenex shares have single-handedly lifted the JSE by about 6% since Tuesday. Ironically, Little Mr No Tonsils is the healthiest out of the lot of us. Still – best to get this nastiness out of the way before our Southern Cape Tour, which begins in 10 days time. But that is scant consolation at the moment as I sit here sweating, shaking, sniffing and wondering where the energy to pursue a rather rapid toddler around the garden is going to come from.

My parents fly out from the UK tonight to view their new(ish) grand-daughter (who, incidentally, has never met Russell Brand). I can only hope that they are not bringing their own viruses with them.
We have more than enough to share.

Chair man set to sue

The interwebs in South Africa was set ablaze last week by the unfortunate incident which befell the Chairperson of the Finance Portfolio Committee, Nhlanhla Nene, live on SABC2. To cut a not ever so long story short, the chair he was sitting upon (as you do) while being interviewed, collapsed. And his job title – Chairperson – geddit?
This has led to him being the laughing stock of South Africa, and, since the video has now had close on 500,000 views on YouTube – the world.

But this all happened last week and this whole story should be finished, gone, disappeared into the annals of internet history. And indeed, we would all have moved on if it weren’t for the actions of one man: Mr Nhlanhla Nene. He’s now threatening to sue the SABC for… well… “something” because of the embarrassment he has suffered. As 5fm’s Breakfast DJ Gareth Cliff mentioned this morning – with each serious comment Nene makes about the incident, the more comical it becomes. If only he could just laugh along with us… but no.

I wasn’t going to show you the video. It’s old news and while it is quite funny, there’s really only so much amusement that one can derive from a bloke falling off a chair on live TV.

But, since he wouldn’t let it lie:
Ladies and Gentlemen – I give you Nhlanhla Nene: a fat bloke with no sense of humour.

Heh heh – he fell off his chair. Again.

Revenge of the tonsil

I get all sorts of visitors to this blog. There’s a little widget at the bottom of my sidebar which tells me (and/or you) which nationalities are reading me. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Saffas and Brits top the tables right now.
What my little widget doesn’t tell me is which parts of the human lymphatic system are reading the site. And yet evidently, my son’s tonsils have been logging on of late. Upon reading my Ops and Balls post, they immediately went into action in order to prevent any sort of family fun this weekend with, I suspect, the final aim of avoiding their extraction on Monday.

Thus, on Thursday evening, we rushed the boy into the handily local Constantiaberg Medi-Clinic with a temperature of stupid degrees Centigrade (that’s ridiculous degrees Fahrenheit) and were informed by the doctor there that he (the boy, not the doctor) had the biggest tonsils that he (the doctor, not the boy) had ever seen in a two year old. Of course, somewhat ironically, you can’t do a tonsillectomy on a patient who has tonsillitis and so it’s a monster dose of anti-inflammatories and equally large amounts of cefuroxime (second generation cephalosporins rock my world) in a concerted effort to rid the kid of his infection before Monday.
And – touch wood – it seems to be working so far.

Looking out of the window at my garden, I note that either I have extremely good eyesight or I didn’t actually even manage to get on the plane to Fancourt. Due to business commitments, my wife is there though and she’s taken baby K-pu (the smaller of our little angels) with her. Fortunately, K-pu was packed as cabin luggage, since SAA didn’t feel it was necessary to take the passengers hold baggage to George with them*. My wife still plans to attend the Fancourt Ball this evening, despite the fact that her dress (or “gown”?) is still somewhere en route via the N2. At least it’s a bit closer than my tuxedo, which is in a cupboard upstairs. 🙁
Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing the photos of what should be a memorable event. Especially if the dress doesn’t get there in time.

Right – parenting duties call. It seems that I have a Thomas the Tank Engine railway to mend and judging by the increasing desperation in the repeated requests, it’s rapidly becoming an urgent job.

I’ll get my spanner.

* Note to my work colleagues – I told you SAA were kak.

Has Lekota named his new party?

It now seems certain that the ruling party in South Africa, the African National Congress (ANC) who fought their way to freedom through the appalling Apartheid era, will split. Those members who disagree with the the policies, ethics and behaviour of the ANC leader, Jacob Zuma, and those of his supporters, are setting up a new party under the (apparent) leadership of former ANC chairman and defence minister, Mosiuoa Lekota. Aside from the obvious questions of who and how many would join this new party came the additional issue of what it would be called.
It now seems that the proverbial cat has vacated the proverbial bag following an appearance by Mr Lekota at Orange Farm yesterday:

Lekota’s supporters wore white and yellow T-shirts emblazoned with the former ANC chairperson’s face and the words “South African National Congress”.

I think it shows some wonderful imagination. I feel though, the intricacies may be beyond many people’s vision, so please excuse me if I attempt to explain to those that don’t get it.

To recap, Mosiuoa Lekota was a high-ranking member of a political party called the African National Congress, or ANC for short. What has occurred over the past few weeks in South Africa has led (or rather will lead, allegedly) to the forming a breakaway faction from the ANC. In choosing a name for their new entity, what Mr Lekota and his allies have done is taken the name of their previous party, the ruling African National Congress (ANC) and added the word “South” in front of it, thus seemingly choosing their new party’s name to be the South African National Congress.

Do you see? It’s simply genius.
I’ll run through it one more time for those at the back. Instead of the African National Congress, they will be called the South African Nation Congress. Because while the continent is called Africa, the country we are in is called South Africa. Hence South African National Congress. Yes?

Words cannot describe the awesome.

One can only hope that their manifesto is a little more distinctive than their party name.