The Planets Bend Between Us

Not literally, obviously. That would surely indicate personal possession of some sort of massive gravitational force by both you and I.
I find that idea almost laughable, since I gave up having an orbiting celestial body a long time ago.

Unless you know something I don’t?

No – remember just one month ago, when the grass was brown, the skies were blue and Snow Patrol (amongst others) came to entertain us in South Africa? Well, while they were here doing CokeZeroFest and opening the IPL at Newlands, they also filmed their new video for The Planets Bend Between Us.
Cape Town fundi’s will recognise Bo Kaap, the broken freeway and possibly other more generic Cape Town venues, all beautifully presented and then vandalised and/or torn up by a terrifyingly large pair of hands.

I happen to know that Snow Patrol’s lead singer Gary Lightbody does actually possess a massive gravitational force. That’s why every time he sticks his arms up in the air, the city rotates around him. Thankfully, he is a Rochdale FC fan and therefore doesn’t get to stick his arms up in the air very often. Gary also likes watching vintage episodes of Airwolf and eating grapes.
Thus ends my list of fake Gary Lightbody facts. If you have any of your own, please let me know by commenting below.

Or maybe you should just enjoy the video and the song.

Incoming

Cape Town’s first big storm of the year is due this weekend, described on surfers’ website Wavescape as follows:

A moerse storm smacks Cape Town this Saturday with the first of a double frontal burst – the first serious beast of the season… just look at the length of the wind below. Basically it’s a stab wound that bleeds from the ice-shelf right up to your tannie’s koeksusters cooling on her stoep at Stilbaai. It’s the ingrown toenail of a fierce oceanic convulsion, dug out with the scalpel of your childhood veruka, the deepest root canal of all your evils.

Mmmkay.

Here’s what Eumetsat shows:

strm1

Which doesn’t look that bad – yet. Further investigation shows that the pressure will dip as low as 940mb though, which is pretty scary, based on the fact that we’re currently sat at 1011mb and Hurricane Katrina was 920mb when it made landfall. (Although not in Cape Town, obviously.)  

I love this sort of weather, even though we’re going to see winds close on 100kph. I hope to get out and about with the camera, like I did last August, which was spectacular.

So assuming we make it through in one piece, what of next week? Wavescape has that covered:

The storm swell is expected to peak at a very steep, short frequency surge to 20 feet by Saturday evening and into Sunday before it boosts to 25 feet on Sunday afternoon, with Monday huge too, Tuesday cranking as the wind eases. The whole coast between Agulhas and the Wild Coast is absolutely off its face on Monday and Tuesday, and solid grinding South swell lasts along the southern Cape all week.

That’s like… totally gnarly, dude.

Three reasons why we’re all buggered

I had one reason why we (South African residents) were all buggered when I left home this morning. Now I have three. By the end of this post, I may have even more. But I’m not going to change the title, as that would merely serve to confuse readers even further.

1. A letter to The Times:

We must give Jacob Zuma’s new cabinet time to prove themselves. Service delivery is a difficult issue to advise politicians on. For the sake of our country, I hope God will guide them. It’s a great combination.

Nathi Khumalo

Jacob Zuma and God “a great combination”? I’ll say.
Hitler and Santa Claus must be devastated to have finally been usurped from their Greatest Combination of Political Leader and Make Believe Character top spot.

2. I agree with Jessie Duarte*:

Instead of answering legitimate criticism about the composition of her provincial Cabinet, she has chosen to insult and demonise the President of the Republic of South Africa. Instead of focusing on the real issues that face South Africans, Zille is obsessed with her personal campaign against Zuma.

Jessie Duarte, ANC spokesperson

Duarte is right.
Despite all the concerning and hilariously offensive ridiculousness which has followed (overseas readers, you HAVE to read this statement from the ANC Youth League), it was Helen Zille’s unnecessary personal swipe at Jacob Zuma in a letter to the Sowetan newspaper which started the whole issue.
And thus, once again, we’re left asking why Zille is still going after Zuma. We had the DA’s view on this pre-election. And since the ANC failed to win their two-thirds majority (just), we have to assume that their tactics worked (just).
But what is the point of this continued personal campaign? Answers on a postcard, please.

3. But it’s academic anyway: we’re all going to die of swine flu and there’s nothing we can do about it:

The so called “swine flu” does not exist, as scientists claim it has mutated and “evolved”, which implies evolution, and evolution does not exist. Therefore, this must be the will of God, and nothing can stop that.

RS Diaz, New York

Why is it that creationists always seem, somehow… less evolved?

EDIT: Chris Roper’s column
EDIT II: Umkhonto we Sizwe weigh in.
EDIT III: Significantly, the ANC distances itself from the ANCYL’s comments on Zille. Great politics. That’s how you do it, Helen.

* I always said that the day Jessie Duarte and I agreed on something, Hell would freeze over and the camels would come skating home.
    Today is that day. It is noticably colder already.

Photo of a blonde girl with an Eastern European parliament building between her legs

No. 1 in a series of 1. Or so I’m guessing, anyway.

buda
Budapest

From here, but I’m really not sure how or why.

The trouble with starting a series like this on one’s blog is that there are often limited opportunities for continuing it. But that’s what makes it special, exclusive, unique.
Everyone has got photos of brunette girls with Eastern European parliament buildings between their legs; or photos of blonde girls with Western European parliament buildings between their legs. So why bother with that run-of-the-mill stuff?

It’s going the extra mile that makes this blog stand out from all those others.

Next week we begin our much anticipated series of posts of charcoal drawings of West African freshwater fish lying in wooden boxes.

Much like you, I can hardly wait.

Tears…

One part joy, two parts relief.
Well done, boys!

More tomorrow…

It’s tomorrow, and here’s the match report, featuring some sporting words from Preston manager Alan Irvine:

I can’t speak for previous play-offs and it wasn’t down to luck this time in any case.
Sheffield United were better than us in both games and deserved to go through overall.

Compare and contrast that with Didier Drogba…

Written on my Sony Ericsson XPERIA X1 after one of the most nerve-wracking 45 minutes of my football-watching life.