Shortcut nonsense

Spottedd on Facebook earlier, this:

Do you remember Beverly Sills? She’s the posh end of Los Angeles, home to the rich and famous: movie stars, sportsp… I’m sorry? … Oh *SILLS*!
Yes, right.

Beverly Sills was an American operatic soprano whose peak career was between the 1950s and 1970s. Although she sang a repertoire from Handel and Mozart to Puccini, Massenet and Verdi, she was known for her performances in coloratura soprano roles in live opera and recordings.

Sadly, Beverly shuffled off this mortal coil 12 years ago, but her motivational quotes (if she did ever give us this one – I can find no record) live on.

This one is nonsense though. Take Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane for example: nightmare to get to if you use Hanover Way; really easy if you choose to cut through Nether Green and Sharrow.
Or the V&A Waterfront: that main road in past British American Tobacco – traffic and tourists everywhere; cut down the back via Portswood Road though – it’s a breeze!

Beverly might have been really good at singing and being a posh neighbourhood, but she had no clue about finding the quickest route to anywhere decent.

Swimmers

Lovely day with the berg wind blowing today, so we walked the beagle early and then I used the opportunity to get a few jobs done (including bathing a reluctant canine) and watched a bit of the cricket.

A far cry from a few months ago up the mountain, where it was grey, cold and wet. Especially for these guys:

Such were the conditions up there that it was only the next morning we saw the sign saying that perhaps swimming “wasn’t allowed”.

So obviously, if you see any of these individuals in the street, please remind them that they were inadvertently very naughty up in the clouds and they really shouldn’t do it again.

Mostly snorfing

Today’s beagle walk through Claremont, up that hill in Bishopscourt and back down through Wynberg Park was a slow one. The reason for this was the sheer amount of snorfing that occurred while we were out.

Beagles, much like humans, have 5 senses. The touch and taste are very much the same in both species, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end. Beagle sight is used exclusively for spotting squirrels, and it works quite well.
Sadly however, their hearing is often clearly muffled by large flappy ears. Spoken instructions or commands are usually ignored, not just because of the stubborn nature of the breed, but also because they are often simply not heard underneath those ridiculous, huge, pendulous hanging bits of furry skin on either side of its head.

Evolution has not favoured the beagle’s hearing system. Unless it detects the sound of a food item being unwrapped in the kitchen, of course.
Then there doesn’t seem to be any handicap at all.

However, what natural selection has removed from the aural abilities of the breed, it has surely made up for in that nose. So much so, in fact, that it has gone beyond a mere sense of smell to something far more complex and important: snorfing.

You won’t find snorfing in any dictionary, but every beagle owner will be able to describe it to you in intimate detail. Most every beagle walk will involve a huge amount of snorfing. It starts suddenly, usually resulting in some sort of shoulder injury for the human on the other end of the lead. And yes, it’s a bit like any other dog sniffing, but it’s somehow deeper, stronger: more detailed, more meaningful. Watching your beagle snorf (together with the added sound of internal snorfing ducts opening and closing), one can almost image a multicoloured, three-dimensional map being assembled in its mind as to what has been there, what they did, where they went and perhaps even so much as a telephone number and/or contact details of their owner, where applicable. It is a fascinating thing to behold.

Sadly, it’s also a very thorough and time-consuming process, and because beagle walks are often interrupted with several prolonged snorfing sessions, you don’t quite get all the exercise you might have been hoping for.
For reference, I walk almost twice as quickly when I don’t a snorfing beagle by my side.

That’s why you never see anyone running with a beagle. You’d literally get nowhere.

Southern Rock Agama

Busy day today and a party this evening (at a place with a massive log fire, thank goodness: it’s been one of the coldest weeks since I moved to SA), so I’m chucking in a quick Quota Photo for today’s post.

It’s a Southern Rock Agama (Agama atra).

…or at least, the head of a Southern Rock Agama (Agama atra).

Spotted at the top of Chapman’s Peak a couple of months ago (when daytime temperatures were still perfectly reasonable), and bigger and better on black here.

Sunscreen

Baz Luhrmann’s Everyone’s Free To Wear Sunscreen was on the radio again this morning, and once again, I was left wondering if there is any other song which is just so very correct from start to finish.

What I didn’t know was that Luhrmann merely put the words of Chicago Tribute columnist Mary Schmich to music. She had written a hypothetical commencement speech for a graduation gathering that didn’t ever exist.

It’s a shame that was just hypothetical though, because it would likely have been the best commencement speech ever made. It’s very difficult to disagree with any of the advice given. Even if none of it would have ever have been taken.

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

Sit yourself down, watch and listen for 5 minutes. Imagine if you had followed all of that from 18 years old. How different would your life be?

Now imagine if you could make your kids listen and learn…
Pipe dreams.