That’s the thing about democracy…

…it’s all well and good until actually, not enough people agree with your point of view.

If you’d have looked at social media for the last few weeks, you’d have seen a near non-stop barrage of anti-Boris, anti-Conservative, Pro-Corbyn rhetoric. If social media was the way in which new governments were elected, there would surely be no doubt as to who the winner would have been.

But – shock, horror – that’s not the way things work. And suddenly, reality has hit home and Boris has been elected with a massive majority.

There are a few different ways that you can deal with this sort of disappointment. You can wail, gnash your teeth and stamp on a newspaper picture of a triumphant Mr Johnson, like a toddler who didn’t get its way:

Nah then, Mardy Bum!

But it really won’t make any difference. And then a cleaner will have to clean up after you. Well done, Uzair.

You could accept that maybe your party didn’t have a clear policy on Brexit, didn’t work hard enough get rid of its massive anti-semitism problem, didn’t approach the election and the electorate well.
Or maybe your party did have a clear Brexit policy, but not the one that people wanted. Maybe your party also had a clear leader until last night in Dunbartonshire East.

But no. Surely the best way is just to keep telling yourself – and everyone else – that those people who voted Conservative are just stupid. Maybe throw in a Turkish proverb (and I’ve seen this three times already, so it must be true):

‘The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the Axe, for the Axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them.’

or just let people know that you know what’s going on, and the 14 million individuals who voted the other way, simply don’t:

Honestly, voters are just sleepwalking our country into a worsening services crisis.

or combine the Turkey thing and the festive season and tell those 14 million Conservative voters that they’re clearly idiots and you know better than them; you know better than all of them.

If the exit polls are correct, the turkeys haven’t just voted for Christmas, they’ve helped hang the decorations and buy the stuffing!!!

After all, choosing to belittle Leave voters after the Brexit referendum worked really well and got that one reversed, so why not?

And then, the final option: your plan to move abroad. Apparently, Ireland always looked great (although it rains a lot). Portugal: shit economy, difficult language, but an EU passport. Or now – suddenly – Scotland. You’ve always liked Scotland. Oh, The Drama of it all. I did lol.

#notmygoverrnment?

Mmm. Yeah. Actually, it is. That’s just how it works.

Look, I’m not saying that Boris Johnson is going to be the greatest leader that the UK has ever had. I’m not saying that Brexit is going to be easy – albeit that this is clearly a mandate for it to finally go ahead now.

But what I am saying that life really isn’t over just because “your guys” didn’t win. I’ve often been a bit sad when Sheffield United didn’t get the result I wanted, but hey, we’re all still here, aren’t we?

Hello?

UPDATE:

Oh right. That’ll be what it is then. [rolleyes emoji]

When was the last time you touched a monkey?

Not a euphemism. Or maybe it is? It came from this facebook advert.

I’m sorry? Again?

I met this woman one time. And I said, “When was the last time you touched a monkey?” And she said, “Oh, can you smell it on me?”
That’s the kind of moment you can create when you learn how to be really interested in other people and how to observe the world around you.

No, that’s the kind of moment you can create when you meet a woman who smells of monkey. But that’s a rather brave question to ask unless there’s more evidence than just a mild simian whiff about her. Perhaps she’s working in the monkey section of the local zoo or wildlife park and is wearing the uniform thereof. Safer, sure, but then it’s still completely pointless, given that the answer will likely be “about 10 minutes ago” or something similar.

Neither of these scenarios are moments I would want to create.
That is not a suitable opening line to use when approaching anyone of any gender. It’s not even a suitable opening line to use when approaching a monkey.

And how are you some sort of expert on what monkeys smell like anyway, David? Do you perhaps work in the monkey section of the local zoo or wildlife park? But then, if you do, perhaps the odour in question emanates from you, rather than the woman you just met. Have you considered this?

I think David needs a MasterClass in something. Something psychiatric.
And I think Facebook needs to stop showing me stuff like this.

Candle

We were loadshod during the good TV and the Champions League last night. I knew that it was coming, so it wasn’t that much of a problem, but halfway through, I was bored already, having done all the things I had planned to do. So I shot my candle.

Handheld, with my 50mm lens. 1/50s, f/2.5, ISO 100.

We got these ‘cheap and nasty’ candles a few years ago now, but they burn so brightly and they last for ages.

No loadshedding planned for this evening, so it’s candle-free pizza and Europa League all the way.

Back to business

(Just as long as that business doesn’t require a reliable electricity supply.)

Part 1.
The first pub quiz in ages last night. And we won. Some things never change. Our team name did – we went with “Chinese Cabbage” for obvious reasons. It stood us in good stead, with a comprehensive victory assured well ahead of the final round. Well played, team.

Part 2.
I managed to get back (no pun intended) to gym today for the first time in about a month. Time will tell whether this was a good decision, my back being at that difficult “probably ok, unless you manage to do something really innocuous to damage it again” stage.

Notes from my really gentle session:
– Gym is quiet, but can you imagine what it’ll be like in a month’s time?
– That wasn’t as easy as I remember. It’s amazing how quickly your fitness drops off when you have been injured.
– I’m (briefly, at least) re-motivated to get back to full fitness as soon as possible, but…
– Tomorrow may well bring a world of pain.

Part 3.
I’ve secured a bit more advertising stuff for the blog. You’ll likely see a post or two in the next week or so that simply doesn’t make sense in the context of this otherwise wonderfully-written site. They’ll probably be about casinos and sports betting. I’m not supposed to say that they are paid content, but they are paid content – clearly identifiable by the “Black Label Fund” category I have applied to them. However, this time around, it’s more likely that any monies earned will go towards a Christmas bone-us for the beagle than any beer. (See what I did there?)
Thank you for your understanding.

How to Bet on Newly Promoted Teams

How betting on newly promoted teams works, and all you need to know to improve your chances of winning when you place bets on underdogs.

Betting on Promoted Teams: All You Need to Know

As a team gains promotion to the top division in a league, facing elite teams is an exciting prospect for both players and fans. Newly promoted teams, however, sometimes find it hard to gain points against these elite teams. Each season, new teams are included into leagues, by relegation or promotion and a lot of bookmakers often support them in several markets.

For the recently relegated, the chances are often better for them while the newly promoted are faced with a difficult struggle to stay in the limelight. Betting on promoted teams is never easy. However, it could be challenging, but also very lucrative, with so many factors and situations surrounding newly promoted teams. You can find some good betting tips in our article.

upsure.co.za

It is evident that soccer teams struggle to thrive after promotion. However, it could be beneficial for bettors to be able to quantify the struggles of these newly promoted teams. Carefully analysing and predicting the performance of newly promoted teams against elite teams in a higher division can reveal inaccurate odds and unveil value bets. Below is our ultimate guide for wagering newly promoted teams…

Betting on Promoted Teams: What Betting Markets are Available

When betting on promoted teams, many markets are available to bet on. Most online bookmakers offer a range of market positions from promotional to outright relegation contenders. Some of the common markets available are:

  • Relegation
  • Finish Bottom
  • To Avoid Relegation
  • Outright Winner
  • Promotion
  • Top Half Finish
  • Bottom Half Finish

Essentially, you can back a newly promoted team in any market where you can support an elite team.

Things to Consider When Betting on a Newly Promoted Team

When you want to place your wager on newly promoted teams, there are several things to consider. Many factors contribute to the extent to which a team will be successful in a new league. Some of the questions you should ask before betting in favour of new teams include:

How can the Struggles of a Newly Promoted Team Benefit Bettors?

Bookies frequently underestimate the newly promoted teams and their chances of winning a game and tend to offer elite teams higher odds. This allows bettors to use these miscalculations to their advantage. This is simply done by comparing a newly promoted team’s implied probability that it will be able to beat the team on the top six the previous year with the actual odds that it offers and bet on the implied value.

Off the Field Activities

Events off the field can determine how a team performs and can be seriously damaging if the unrest occurs mid-season. Similarly, if a club has seen significant investments from sponsors in recent seasons, it may be expected to use its financial influence to encourage subsequent promotions.

Player/Managerial Changes

Following a successful season, newly promoted teams are often targeted by elite teams. The star players or managers of these new teams are poached by bigger teams. The team could turn out entirely different without them, especially if the team is reliant on such a player or manager. This could nudge the team into relegation and that’s where you should be looking at.

With the knowledge of how things work for newly promoted teams and how they struggle in numbers, you can get the edge on a bookie when trying to bet on the new teams.