I’m not usually one to surrender to peer pressure, nor one to take part in petty acts of slacktivism, but given the continued publicity around the killing of Cecil the Lion, and the associated persisting coercion I have been facing, I hereby make this promise:
Henceforth, I resolve not to use the services of Dr Walter Palmer for any of my dental needs, in solidarity with those protesting the allegedly illegal and unethical methods used to hunt and kill Cecil the Lion*.
I trust that this sates the bloodthirsty hordes on various social media platforms and preserves my reputation as a compliant and entirely reasonable individual, especially when confronted with pitchforks and flaming torches.
* unless I find myself in Minnesota with toothache, in which case, whatevs.